HOW DOES ISLAM BUILD THE FAMILY (1)

نكاح) for the coupling process, and the lawful

enjoyment between husband and wife.

In the Arabic language, to marry means to consort and mix.

" The rain married the earth" means that it mixed with the soil of

the earth.

"The trees married" means that the trees consorted or got closer to

each other.

Going back to the lexicon, and looking up the meaning of `mixing',

which implies the concepts of both the words `Spouse' and `Marriage',

we realize that the meaning of "to mix one thing with another" is to

gather and mingle them together. `Mixing' is gathering, mingling and

consummating.

`To consort', implied by the word `to marriage', means: to tie and

connect, as is seen in the lexicon.

Thus, through lexical understanding of the meanings of `spouse' and

`marriage' used in religious terms, we come to discover the great

human implications contained in the relation between man and woman

from Islam's viewpoint: joining, mixing, tying and connecting.

Thus, to Islam, marriage is an interaction, a mixing, a psychological

and spiritual connection, and a tying of two individuals (a man and a

woman) together to become "a married pair". A pair consists of two who

are similar to one another. Without this similarity none of us would

have found his half to make a pair, but would have remained a single,

feeling lonely and away from his spouse, and would have continued his

natural search and longing to join his half with the other half that

would take him out of the dreary prison of singleness, and fill up the

gaps of love, affection and yearning in his inside.

The Glorious Qur'an has beautifully illustrated the love and relation

between the couple by drawing a verbal picture, in a wonderful style

"And of His signs in this: He created mates for you from yourselves

that you may find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and

It has illustrated marriage as a relationship of `rest', `love' and

`mercy', which are desired by the individual when he is away from his

other half, because he (she) would not enjoy the happiness of

affection, love, mercy and sympathy, unless he (she) joins his (her)

spouse and get together. This makes us understand that `coupling' to

the Qur'an, does not refer to a mathematical figure resulting from

adding a man to a woman. Actually it is a process of omitting the

singleness - in its psychological and organic meaning, and in its

specific and social aim - through the natural meeting and perfection

and biological connections and feelings may mix, react, communicate

and unite, In this way the psychological and biological perfection

between them and their split personalities is cohesively united, so

that they may form the base for the continuation of existence and

preservation of the human species. The humanity which grows,

fertilizes and practices its lively activities, is the perfectly

"He it is Who did create you from a single being, and of the same

(kind) did He make his mate that he might incline to her. So when he

"And of everything We have created pairs, that happily you may

The Imam further explained this by saying, "Allah the Exalted did

emphasize his words about divorce because He strongly hates

The Commander of the Faithful, the Imam, Ali bin Abi Talib (a.s.),

quoted the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) saying:

"The lowest of your deeds are the bachelors."

It is narrated, too:

"The wife of Uthman bin Maz'un, a companion of the Prophet, came to

the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) and said:

So, this collection of ideas, concepts and regulations, found in the

Glorious Qur'an and in the prophet's Traditions, enlighten us, with

pure clarity, humane values, a sound understanding of marriage, and an

invitation to build a family, the nest of happiness, the cradle of

love, and the lap of affection which embraces all its members and

floods them - husband, wife, children and relatives - with feelings

of love and mercy.

This lofty cultural building, the family, is the expression of a

natural feeling, an inner longing, and one's innate desire to be

sociable, amicable, and taken care of thus, the Messenger of Allah

(s.a.w.) was angry with Uthman because he neglected his wife, and

explained to him Islam's attitude, and positively told him that he is

against cloistral life which ruins marriage, destroys humanity and

contradicts human nature and life's order. That is why we hear the

Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.), on many other occasions, confirm that

marriage is of his divine and tolerant religion is an upright one -

that is, far from being abnormal or deviated. It is in perfect harmony

with the logic of universal existence and the innate natural order.

So, singleness is regarded as an evil, and marriage is regarded as

completing half of one's religion, since it regulates the instincts,

inclinations, activities and practices which affect half of the

conduct, instinctively, psychologically, socially, economically and

morally in general.

In order to accomplish its objectives harmoniously and without

contradiction, Islam disapproves the obstacles and barriers forged by

a society deviated from the principles of faith. By removing the

psychological or social hindrances in the way of building family and

establishing matrimonial relations, it prevents a clash between

different social values and the natural law of life. It breaks up

class discrimination, racialism and other differences of ignorance;

and changes them into humane values and lawful objective

considerations.

It also modifies the customs concerning marriage portion and dowry so

that it should not be too overstated and be a materialistic barrier in

the way of marriage and forming of families.