
HOW DOES ISLAM BUILD THE FAMILY (2)
- Publication date: 2009-09-11 11:30:51
- Number of views: 723
Let us read what the Glorious Qur'an says about these practical
principles and values in respect to marriage:
"And marry such of you who are single and the pious of your male
slaves and female slaves. If they be poor Allah will enrich them of
his bounty. Allah is of ample means, Knowing. And let those who do not
find means to marry keep chaste till Allah gives them independence by
his grace. And such of those who seek a writing (of emancipation) from
among those whom your right hands posses write it for them if you are aware
of any good in them, and bestow upon them of the wealth of Allah which
He has bestowed upon you. Force not your slave girls to whoredom that
you may seek enjoyment of the life of the world, if they would
preserve their chastity. And if one forces them, then, after their
compulsion, surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful."
Holy Qur'an (24:32-33)
These verses are explicit in their call for marriage and to abolish
class and financial differences and to fight against prostitution and
sexual liberties.
In Islam wealth, class, color or even beauty, should not be an
obstacle in the way of marriage. The only criterion is goodness, piety
and having good offspring. These are the values and principles of
Islam which are derived from its humane spirit and objective look at
mankind and at the reality of the social activities and phenomena.
In addition to the Qur'an, the Traditions also play an important role
in stressing and confirming these values and concepts:
"Ali bin Asbat wrote to the Imam Muhammad Al-Baqir bin Ali bin
Al-Husain bin Ali bin Abi Talib (a.s.) complaining that he could not
find anyone equal to him in status to marry his daughters. The Imam
replied to him and urged him not to look at it that way, as the
Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) had said: If someone of good character and conduct proposes to your daughters, marry them. If you do not, there will be mischief and great corruption on earth."
The Messenger (s.a.w.) himself gave a practical example by marrying Zaid
bin Hanitha -his freed slave- to Zainab bint Jahsh - the Prophet's
cousin, - one of the noblest and most beautiful women. Later on, when
Zaid divorced her, the Prophet (s.a.w.) himself married her.
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) also married Diya'a bint Al-Zubait bin
Abd Al-Muttalib of Quraish - a cousin of the Prophet too - to
Al-Miqdad bin Al-Aswad - who was far below her in nobility and tribal
position according to the customs prevalent in those days.
Commenting on this marriage, the Imam Al-Sadiq says:
"
By marrying Al-Miqdad bin Al-Aswad to Diya'a bint Al-Zubair bin Abd Al-Muttalib, the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) aimed at encouraging people to follow the path of the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) and simplify marriage and to
remember that, `the noblest of you, in the sight of Allah, is the best in conduct' Al-Zubair was Abdullah's (the prophet's father) and Abu Talib's full brother."
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) ordered Ziyad bin Labid Al-Ansari, a
nobleman of Bani Bayada to give his beautiful daughter, Al-Dhalfa', to
Juwaibir, the Prophet's poor companion. He used to live on charity,
with some other poor, familyless persons under a roof built for them
by The Messenger (s.a.w.) called "Al-Seffah."
The story of Juwaibir starts with a wonderful dialogue between the
Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) and his respectable companion:
"O Juwaibir,"
the Prophet said, "how about your getting married, so that your wife
may keep you chaste and help you with your world and your hereafter?"
"O Messenger of Allah," replied Juwaibir, "my father and mother be
your ransom; who would like me? By Allah (I have) no ancestral
nobility, no wealth and no beauty, so what woman would want me?"
"O Juwaibir," the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) replied, "Allah, with
Islam, lowered him who had been arrogant during the Era of Ignorance
(Jahiliyah), made him respectable, with Islam, who had been humiliated
during the Era of Ignorance, and abolished, with Islam,
superciliousness, and taking pride in tribalism and ancestry. Today
all people, irrespective of being white, black, whether of Quraish,
Arabs or non-Arabs, are sons of Adam; whom Allah had created from
clay. The most beloved of people to Allah the Exalted, on the Day of
Resurrection, are the most pious and obedient to Him."
Then he told him to go to Ziyad bin Labid and, ask for his daughter's
hand. When Ziyad heard Juwaibir's proposal, he could not believe it,
and turned away Juwaibir at once. But his daughter, Al-Dhalfa',
protested against her father's haughty attitude towards the Prophet's
order. Finally, Ziyad relented, changed his mind and gave his daughter
in marriage to Juwaibir.
These principles and noble values are embodied in the practical live the
progeny of the Messenger (s.a.w.), who were Imam of the Muslims and the
noblest of the Arabs.
It is narrated that the Imam, Ali bin Al-Husain bin Abi Talib (a.s.)
had a wonderful ideological dialogue with the Ommayyad Caliph, Abdul
Malik bin Marwan, who used to oppose the Imam (a.s.), insult and
belittle him.
It is related that Abdul Malik bin Marwan appointed an agent in
Al-Madinah to spy upon its people and report the matter. One day the
Imam, Ali bin Al-Husayn emancipated a bondmaid then married her. The
spy informed Abdul Malik, who wrote to the Imam saying: "It has come
to me that you have married your bondmaid, while I know there are
women in Quraish who are your equal and would bring glory to you by
marriage, and would give you worthy sons. But you neither cared for
yourself, nor respected your children."
The Imam, Ali bin Al-Husain (a.s.) wrote back to him: "I received your
letter reproaching me for marrying my bondmaid, claiming that there
were in Quraish women who would have brought glory to me if I married
them and have their children. But no one is superior than the
Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) in glory and generosity. She had been of my
belongings, I emancipated her from my possessions for a reward I
expect from Allah, then I took her back (married) according to His
law. Whoever is steadfast in the religion of Allah, nothing will harm
him. Allah has, with Islam, raised those who were despised, perfected
by it the defects, and removed worthlessness. So a Muslim cannot be
worthless, and worthlessness belongs to the Era of Ignorance."
27
When Abdul Malik read the letter, he was dumbfounded and threw it to
his son Sulaiman, acknowledging his failure in insulting the Imam
(a.s.).
Sulaiman, having read the letter, told his father: "O Commander of
the Believers, how boastful, Ali bin Al-Husain is to you!
Abdul-Malik replied, "O Son, do not say so, He is the most elegant of
all Bani Hashim who `split the rock and drank out of an ocean' (of
Knowledge)., Ali bin Al-Husain, dear son, gets higher where other
people get lower."
In this way Islam has removed the gravest and most hindering of
obstacles which contradicted the human spirit and nature.
Having managed to overcome this social handicap, and to change this
backward and ignorant way of thinking, Islam tackled another
materialistic problem, whose bad effect was hindering marriages and
the establishment of families, that is the problem of high
marriage-portions.
Having defined the concept of marriage as a universal and natural
system through which man performs the legal ties and connections,
Islam looked upon marriage-portion as a secondary thing and placed
marriage high above all materialistic benefits and interests. It
abolished all concepts which regarded marriage-portion as the woman's
price, or as wedding expenses.
Islam regards the mutual consent of both parties, the husband and
wife, as two corners of matrimonial relations, the best reason for
concluding a marriage,
*
while the marriage-portion is but a gift on
"The best women of my people are the most beautiful, but ask the
lowest possible `mehr' (marriage-portion)".
It has also been said:
"The blessing of a woman is her modest mehr"
Also, it is narrated:
"...as to woman, her misfortune is in her high
`mehr' and (troublesome) delivery..."
The marriage of Fatimah (a.s.), daughter of the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.),
was unique regarding her portion. She married the Imam, Ali (a.s.) for a
modest sum of money ever recorded in history with pride and
endearment, despite the fact that she was the daughter of the
Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.), the noblest of the women of the world, and
that her father could afford her with a wealth matching that of the
women of Ceasars and Chosroes. Yet his goal was much more superior and
Fatima's personality and her marriage were much higher above wealth,
furniture and the trivialities of this world.
History has preserved this wonderful picture with respect and
splendor;
When the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) wanted to marry his daughter to the
Imam `Ali (a.s.), he asked him:
"Have you anything to marry with?"
The Imam replied that except for a sword, an armor and a camel, which
the Imam sold for 480 Dirhams and handed the sum to the Prophet
(S.A.). The Prophet accepted this modest sum, and asked men and women
to purchase garments for the bride, some furniture and other household
necessities.