Motives behind Backbiting

Why are some people so gossipy and backbite the others?

The clearest reply to this question has been given by the Commander of the believers – Imam Ali (AS) who said: “Backbiting is the effort of the weakling (persons of weak minds and ailing characters).

To protect individuals from getting this harmful condition – the inclination to speak about the others malevolently, proper education should be given them since childhood. No doubt in a good family formed on the basis of Islamic teachings, the spirit of kindness, benevolence and respect for the rights of the others is conveyed to the children. In such an ideal environment parents try to divide their love, care and attention among their children equally and justly and to inspire them the sense of justice, honesty and courage.

Obviously, the children raised in such blessed family environments will grow up to be possessed of such virtues and will step into the society as honest and just people who respect the others and their rights. In the same vein, unhealthy family environments are most likely to teach undesirable qualities such as jealousy and deceitfulness to  their children, thus making them grow up to be disrespectful and unloving to the others. No doubt, such individuals feel unhappy about the success of the others in the society and might thus try to hurt the others and/or hinder their way to progress, instead of being cooperative and sympathetic towards the other members of the society.

As such persons might not be brave enough to hurt the others openly, they will resort to backbiting and gossips and even attributing to the others the evil traits which exist just in him/herself in order to make his/her doing harm to the others appear justified and also tarnish the other’s image in the eyes of the people around. Sometimes the jealous person might try to make a small fault or mistake of the others seem big and unforgivable.

This is sort of defensive position taken by those who are afflicted with the malady of jealousy, since they often feel emotionally hurt (at seeing the others successful and/or happy). Here, it is best to cite a quote from Imam Ali (AS) on backbiting and fault-finding, “Avoid finding faults with the others, remember that Allah might have forgiven the sin of the one you consider a sinner and do not be careless about those sins of yours which you might consider negligible, because you may be punished by Allah for those very sins.”