3. Home, A School
The home is a school where one learns to curb the negative human instincts. The person can nurture the sapling of nobility in this institution. A wife, who has a disrespectful and rude husband, should bear with him with patience so that gradually, being patient becomes a habit with her. If she can cultivate this trait of patience within herself, it is better than this entire world as well as the Hereafter. Those men who have disrespectful wives too should deal with them patiently. Those who can uproot negative traits and in its place cultivate patience have achieved something better than the world and all that it contains as well as Paradise and all that it contains. Allah (s.w.t) bestows His blessings on such people.
4. More Than The Late Night Prayer
Another advantage of the formation of a family is that the home and the family are more felicitous than construction of a mosque. A woman’s reward for serving her husband and a man’s reward for providing for his wife and children, and for raising the children, is more than every supererogatory prayer. It is even more felicitous than Salathul Layl. Salatul Layl is highly meritorious and according to the Holy Quran brings the person to the elevated place, the Maqame Mahmood!
وَ مِنَ الَّيْلِ فَتَهَجَّدْ بِهِ نَافِلَةً لَّكَ عَسىَ أَن يَبْعَثَكَ رَبُّكَ مَقَامًا محَّْمُودًا
And (in a part) of the night, forsake sleep for prayer, in addition to (what is incumbent on) thee; Maybe that exalteth thee thy Lord unto a position praised. (Sura al-’Isra’, 17: 79)
No one can understand the Maqame Mahmooduntil a person reaches it himself. But there is more reward than Salatul Layl for the mother who gets up in the middle of the night to feed her child, and lovingly put him back to sleep. Similarly a wife giving comfort and satisfaction to her husband is more felicitous. It has come in the traditions that when the husband and wife take the Bath of Purification(Ghusl al-Janaba),their major sins too are washed away!
Similarly it is mentioned in the traditions that when a husband and wife take the Bath of Purification,the drops of water that flow down from their bodies turn into angels who will remain alive till Doomsday! When a wife becomes pregnant, each breath that she takes is deemed a prayer. The difficulties that the mother faces in child bearing too are considered as prayer. When the child is born, it is innocent and at that time the mother too is deemed free of any sin! Allah addresses the new mother thus, “O lady! Start your life afresh from today! Be careful that you don’t commit any further sins!"
The Prophet of Islam (s)one day entered the home of Lady Fatima Zahra (a.s.).He found Amir al Mu’minin (a.s.) busy cleaning vegetables. The Prophet (s)said, “O Ali! Do you know how much reward is there from Allah for helping ones spouse with her chores?" Then he said that the reward is equivalent to that of a person who has been martyred in the way of Allah!
A woman once told the Prophet (s), “O Prophet of Allah!I have a question and it is not only for the women of Medina but for the womenfolk of all time! The question is that "Why is there a difference between the status of men and women? Why are men given a higher status than women?" The Prophet of Islam replied, “Islam doesn’t believe in giving any special status to men in comparison with women.” The woman said, “The women, because they have to take care of their children and the home they cannot attend the Friday congregation, they cannot go to meetings, call on the sick to express their sympathies, cannot go for optional Hajj and are sometimes even unable to perform the more important Hajj Pilgrimage. It seems that our only function is to look after the home and rear the children!"
The Prophet (s) was very happy to hear this. He smiled and said: “This is the reply for the women of Medina and all the women who will be in the world till the Day of Reckoning: ‘If a woman marries and keeps her husband happy, then this act is equal to the Friday congregation, the optional Hajj and other type of worship.’”
This reply of the Holy Prophet is for all wives, irrespective of whether the lady is the wife of a toiling laborer, a philosopher, a villager or a city dweller.But today’s women seem to have forgotten this commandment of the Prophet (s).
It has been mentioned in the traditions that when a housewife prepares food for the breaking of the fast (iftar) and serves it to the children and other members of the house, her reward will be equal to the reward of a martyr. Ladies think that there is reward for them only if they go to Mecca.One lady asked me “O Aga! Please pray for me! I wish to perform the optional Hajj in Mecca!” I told her, “If you want to acquire the reward for the optional Hajj you should first spend money on the beggars, old, infirm and sick persons. Imam Musa bin Jafar (a.s.)has said that if someone gives food to a deserving family for one week, the reward for this act will be more than that of performing 70 Hajj pilgrimages! Hearing this the lady told me with a crestfallen face. “You may do what you are advising me! As for me, I want to visit Mecca!”
The ladies seem to have forgotten that there is reward for them in running the household. They have forgotten that there is a reward in the upbringing of children. A husband working hard on his job to provide a better living to his wife and children is like a soldier struggling in the battle field of Jihad. Both are equally rewarding! If the man works for the welfare of his family, smiles for his wife, thanks her, then this gets converted into Hoorul Ein for him. Do not compareHoorul Ein with the women of this world. If a single Hoorul Ein comes to this world, the people of this world will not need the moon. The man who smiles at his wife when he enters his home and the woman who smiles at her husband when he enters the house, have prepared Hoorul Eins for themselves.One who is desirous of acquiring the Hoorul Ein, gardens and palaces, should make efforts to do so in this life itself!
The Prophet of Islam (s)saw the angels working in the Heavens on the night of his ascension (Meraj).They were working for sometime, then they stopped working for some time. Jibrael (a.s.)told the Prophet (s), “The angels here stop working for sometime because the material with which they build comes from the world. When the material comes, the angels work. When it stops coming, the angels too stop the work.”
