Courteousness

Being polite and showing others respect are admirable traits that both Islamic law [sharī‘ah] and the methodology of religious leaders have advised us to follow. The Prophet of Islam (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) placed great importance on such principles and always preserved the dignity of others by treating them with respect. There are numerous instances of the Prophet's behavior that teach us to honor others. Here reference is made to a few of such instances:

1. "Whenever a man would sit next to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family), he would not get up until that man got up."[1]

2. "He (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) would address his companions by their kunyah (referring to one as the father of such-and-such or the mother of such-and such which was a sign of respect in Arab culture), in order to show them respect and win their hearts. And he would give a kunyah to whosoever did not have one and, thereafter, such a person would be addressed by this kunyah. Similarly he would give kunyahs to women who had children as well as those who did not. He would also give kunyahs to children."[2]

3. One of the memorable things the Commander of the Faithful (peace be upon him) reported about sitting with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) was that: "The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) would never stretch his legs towards anyone."[3]

4. The Prophet of Islam (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) would even treat his servants with courteousness. Anas ibn Mālik is quoted as saying, "I swear by the One who dispatched him (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) with truth! Never would he say, 'Why did you do that?' if I did something he didn't like. And whenever one of his wives would blame me for something, he would say, 'Leave him alone. This was prescribed and (divinely) ordained."[4]

5. He (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) would show extraordinary respect to guests. Escorting his guests to the door is one of the customs of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family). Similarly, when the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) entertained guests, he would eat with them and he would continue to eat so long as his guests had not finished eating.[5]

Humility

Behaving humbly towards others and distancing oneself from arrogance and conceitedness are some of the greatest human attributes. The Prophet of Islam (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) possessed these attributes to a high degree and it can be said with certainty that one of the reasons this spiritual role model was so beloved was the humility he displayed in dealing with others. To give the reader a deeper appreciation of this, some examples of such behavior will be mentioned:

1. "When the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) would enter a social gathering, he would sit in the nearest place possible upon entering [the would not give importance to sitting in a particular place]."[6]

2. "He disliked for others to stand up for him, so people [his companions] would not stand up when he would arrive since they knew he did not like them to do so. Then, when he would stand up (to leave) they would get up and accompany him until he entered his house."[7]

3. Abū Dharr al-Ghaffārī (one of the Prophet's greatest companions) said, "The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) would sit amongst his companions and when a stranger entered, the stranger would not know which of these men was the Prophet and would have to ask. We requested the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) to arrange the seating in our gatherings in such a way that a stranger would be able to tell which one is the Prophet. So, we built a bench out of clay and he (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) would sit on it and we would sit around him."[8]

4. Just as the Prophet of Islam (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) would show humility towards God's servants, he would also show the highest form of humility in God's presence so that, God forbid, even the smallest amount of pride would not enter his blessed heart: Abū 'Abdullāh (Imām aṣ Ṣādiq, peace be upon him) said, "From the day he was sent by God, Mighty and Sublime is He, until the day He took his soul, The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) would never lean back while eating. He would eat like a slave and sit like a slave." The narrator of this tradition asked the reason behind it. He replied, "Out of humility towards God, the Mighty and Sublime."[9]

Fulfilling Promises

Fulfilling one's promise shows one's true personality and being true to one's word plays a great role in strengthening social ties. It is one of the greatest virtues which can be witnessed in every aspect of the Prophet's life, in family relations and social and political interactions alike.

Both before and after he was appointed as a prophet, when it came to fulfilling promises he (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) held a high position and a well-deserved station. He would fulfill his promises under all circumstances, whether they were made to friends or enemies. If the other party had not negated their side of the agreement, he would always honor his word. Not even one case has been related where the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) was the first to fail to act in accordance with an agreement. Instead, he tried to fulfill his promise at any cost, even when doing so caused him harm. Mention will be made of some examples demonstrating the importance he placed on this characteristic.

1. Abū 'Abdullāh (Imām aṣ Ṣādiq, peace be upon him) is quoted as saying, "The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) made an arrangement with a man that they would meet next to a boulder and so he said, 'I will wait for you here until you come back.' Then the heat of the sun began to beat down where he was standing and his companions urged him, 'O Messenger of God, what would happen if you were to just move to the shade?' He (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said, 'I promised him (I would meet him) right here so if he doesn't come, he will be the one to have violated his oath.'"[10]

2. In the Age of Ignorance (the period before the dawn of Islam) a number of youth from the tribe of Quraysh contracted an agreement called “ḥilf al-fuḍūl” aimed at defending the rights of the oppressed. The Most Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) was one of those who took part in this agreement. Not only did he fulfill his word prior to his prophetic mission but also afterwards, whenever reference was made to this agreement, he would say, "I'm not willing to violate my oath even if I were to be offered the most valuable possessions to do so."[11]

3. ‘Ammār Yāsir has said, "I would graze our own sheep. Muḥammad (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) would also graze sheep. One day I said to him, 'I know of a good pasture located at 'Fajj'. Would you like to go there tomorrow?' He answered, 'Yes.' The next morning I saw that Muḥammad (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) came sooner than I but he had not taken his sheep to the pasture. I asked, 'So why are you standing (here)?' He replied, 'I made a promise with you that we would take our sheep to the pasture together and I didn't want to violate my oath and take my sheep to the pasture before you.'"[12]

4. It was the month of Dhu’l-Qa‘dah and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) had decided to set out for Mecca in order to perform the lesser pilgrimage ('umrah). He invited all the Muslims to take part in this journey with him. Then the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) headed for Mecca with a group of his followers. While on their journey, they were told, "(The tribe of) Quraysh (in Mecca) have learned of your journey and have prepared themselves for war, having set up at Dhī Ṭuwā, swearing not let you enter Mecca."

Since the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) had not set out with the intention of engaging in war, but had intended to perform 'umrah, he (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) started negotiations with them and they made a treaty that came to be known as the treaty of Ḥudaybiyyah. In this treaty, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) agreed to a number of things, including: "Any individual from the Quraysh who runs away from Mecca without his guardian's permission and becomes Muslim and joins the Muslims, Muḥammad (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) must send him back to the Quraysh. But if a Muslim runs away and goes to the Quraysh, they are not obliged to return the Muslim."

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) made this pact with Suhayl, the representative of the Quraysh. However, Suhayl's son, Abū Jandal, who had become Muslim, and had been imprisoned by his father, ran away from Mecca and joined the Muslims.

When Suhayl saw him he said, "O Muḥammad, this is the first case where you can fulfill your promise. If you want us to have peace, you must return him to us."

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) accepted to do so. Suhayl took his son by the collar and headed towards Mecca.

Abū Jandal cried, "O Muslims, are you going to allow them to take me back to the idol worshippers and be in their clutches?"

The Most Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said, "Be patient, Abū Jandal. God will provide relief for you and others like you. We have made an oath with them and we cannot violate our oath."[13]

5. One of the clearest examples of the Prophet keeping his word in social matters is the incident concerning Abū Baṣīr. Abū Baṣīr was one of the Muslims in the battle of Mecca who fled to Madīnah after the Treaty of Ḥudaybiyyah. The elders of the Quraysh wrote a letter to the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) and gave it to a particular individual who, along with his slave, was to take it to Madīnah in order to implement the law in regards to Abū Baṣīr and bring him back to Madīnah. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) received the letter, he requested Abū Baṣīr to come and he said to him, "You know that we have made an oath with the Quraysh and it is not right for us to violate our oath. God will provide relief for you and others like you."

Abū Baṣīr said, "O Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him and his family)! Are you going to return me to the enemies who will cause me to forsake my religion?

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said, "Go back, Abū Bas'īr. God will provide relief for you and others like you."

And so Abū Baṣīr headed back with the two that were sent to take him. When they arrived at Dhīl Halīfah, they stopped next to a wall. Abū Baṣīr looked at the man and asked, "Is that sword of yours sharp?"

"Yes it is," the man replied.

"Can I see it?" asked Abū Baṣīr.

"Yes, if you would like," replied the man. Abū Baṣīr took the sword and killed the man without hesitation. His slave, who saw this incident, ran to Madīnah out of fear. The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) was sitting in a mosque when all of a sudden the slave entered. As soon as he (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) saw him he said, "This man has seen a frightening scene." Then he asked, "What has happened?"

"Abū Baṣīr killed that man," he replied.

At this point, Abū Baṣīr arrived and said, "O Messenger of God, you were faithful to your oath in turning me over to these two men. But I feared my faith was in danger…”

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said, "If this man has supporters, this event will cause a great war." Abū Baṣīr realized that if he stayed in Madīnah the Makkans would send people after him once again. So he left Madīnah and headed for the shores of the Red Sea. There, the Qurayshī caravans would pass by on their way to the province of Shām[14]. When the Muslims who were enslaved in Mecca heard the story of Abū Baṣīr and what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) had said to him, they escaped at all costs in order to join Abū Baṣīr. After a while, his supporters numbered about 70 in all. At this point, they had become a serious threat to the caravans of the Quraysh that passed by. They killed all members of the Quraysh that they could. And they would harass the Qurayshī caravans that passed that way. In order to put an end to this harassment, the Quraysh wrote a letter to the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) urging him to request these men to come to Madīnah and thereby relieve the Quraysh of this hardship. The Most Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) summoned them and they came to Madīnah.[15]