Of course there is a close link between the freedom and independence on the one hand and the marriage and selection of a girl on the other. This issue is very important from the view of Islam. Professor hossein Ansarian in his book “ The structure of family in Islam” lays emphasize on this important matter. The text to be followed is an exemplar.
Mankind's creation is based upon his freedom in life, independence in carrying out daily affairs and in control over choices. No one has the right to make another his slave imprisoning that individual to serve his own needs. To deprive others of freedom and free will is a mortal sin, capital treason and a great crime.
Liberty and the control over one's affairs are ingrained in man's essence, whose nature was created with this truth in mind. Freedom and independence are the greatest blessings God has bestowed upon mankind. These are is the most excellent sources of growth, perfection and attaining higher worldly and spiritual positions. The field of freedom is the best area. The condition of having control over one's affairs and being free is the most wonderful condition for an individual.
One very important case of Islam's struggle against oppression concerns that of man's liberty. Islam fights like a tiger against those whose philosophy is based on colonization and exploitation and want to enslave men who have been created to be independent. Islam emphatically decrees that an all-out holy war (Jihad) must be made against oppression and the oppressors who have attacked freedom.
All of the damages imposed upon mankind's life throughout history are the direct result of depriving people of liberty and attacking their freedom. Listening to and putting up with bullying, accepting to be oppressed, and selling one's freedom are the greatest sins and will be the cause of being deprived of God’s Mercy. Also one's worldly and spiritual interests will be endangered.
It is absolutely necessary to protect one's freedom, the ability to make choices and one's free will; all of which God the Almighty has bestowed upon man so that he may develop, reach a state of perfection and his talents would blossom. Whenever these benefits are endangered, you must defend them even if it costs your very life.
An Important Matter
A person must pay strict attention to the truth and meaning of freedom, the worth of free will and control, and the fact that when man remains in the shade of God's guidance he will benefit from independence, free will and control. Then he shall attain lofty positions, efficient ranks, and truths which he thought he could never understand.
Let's try to preserve our independence throughout our whole lifetime, even in the face of all events and catastrophes. Doing so will make us happy and satisfy our Lord.
You know that the atom is made up of neutrons, protons and one or several electrons. By God's will the electrons are attracted to their own central axis orbiting at the specified speed and in the specified order. As long as this speed and rotation continue based on that especial order and the forces of attraction and repulsion, the atom is beneficial wherever it may be and whatever it may do. However, when the forces of attraction and repulsion are removed, the electrons lose their special order and separate from the central nucleus, the result will be nothing but destruction.
We can compare man to the atom. His nature, his search for God and his monotheistic belief are like the atom's nucleus. And the continuation of his existence is dependent upon all his body parts and his internal states being attracted to God and his actions being based on God's decrees.
His actions should never be void of submission to God. Separation from God and leaving the domain of attraction of His Love and Knowledge, or in other words leaving God's orbit, will result in corruption in man's physical parts and his inner being.
The Holy Quran states:
As to those who reject faith, I will punish them with terrible agony in this world and in the Hereafter, nor will there be anyone to help them. [Holy Quran: Al-i-Imran 3:56]
One of the factors in controlling man from indulging in some types of corruption is the very important program of marriage. When man has the required worthiness - meaning that he benefits from faith, morality and action to the extent of his capabilities - and also finds a good match in life, his appearance and internal states are controlled. His independence will be preserved and he will be safe from being enslaved by unlawful lust, corrupt programs and unsuitable friends.
There are so many men - who having faith, good dispositions and nobleness - helped their spouses to attain divine status, positions and humane nobleness. Also there are so many women, who being aware and insightful, have helped their husbands to attain lofty human status and magnificent, heavenly positions.
One's Independence in Marriage
Mothers and fathers must pay attention to the fact that the right to choose a spouse - with important conditions that dear Islam has stated - belongs to the offspring themselves. Parents do not have the right to force their son to marry a girl whom he does not approve of. Also parents do not have the right to force their daughters to marry the ones she does not want to. The offspring have the God-given right of freedom to choose their spouse. A very important tradition has commented upon the right to choose in marriage: Ibn Aby Ya'fur said that he had the following request direction from Imam Sadiq (Pbuh):
I had chosen a certain woman to marry but my mother and father have chosen another. What should I do?" The Imam said: "Marry the one whom you like to and forget about the other one whom your father and mother have approved of." [Bihar al-Anwar, v.103, p.235]
In the practical treatises of great Shiite authorities regarding marriage we read:
If a suitable spouse is found for a young girl and is religiously according to custom a good match for her, and her father and grandfather are too strict and do not approve, then their permission is not required. [Risaleh-i-Tuwzih Al-Ma'sael, Ayatullah Fazel Lankarany, p.418, Matter 2236]
Therefore, if a young man has found his best match and a young girl has also found her best match, the approval or lack of approval of the father and mother does not work as a condition. The young couple may marry with the permission of Islam and the approval of God.
Mothers and fathers should not force their own wishes and selfish desires of their clan upon young men and women who want to marry. It is forbidden in Islam to force others to do things. To undergo force is also prohibited by Islam.
Men and women are free to choose legitimate work and the wages they earn belong to them: Their ownership of the income is legitimate. The wife does not have any rights to man's property except with his permission and vice versa. We must note that men and women's independence must be respected in all aspects of life.
A Strange Story About Freedom
In history it has been recorded that the Caliph Yazeed or one of his agents was on his way to make the pilgrimage to Mecca, when he entered the town of Medina, he sent for a Koreyshite citizen and when the man came, Yazeed (or his agent) asked him: "Confess that you are my slave! If I wish I will sell you as a slave and if not I will keep you as a slave."
The Koreyshite responded: "I swear to God that you are not any nobler than I am regarding family roots. Your father was not any better than my father in the Age of Ignorance and in the era of Islam. You are not at all superior to me regarding faith and religion. You are not any better than I am. Given that I possess all these characteristics, how do you expect me to confess to be your slave?"
The oppressor told him: "If you do not confess to this, I will order your execution."
The man responded: "Killing me is not any worse than killing Imam Husayn."
At this point, the order of execution was issued and he became a martyr for the sake of freedom and free will. [Ruzih i-Kafy, p.313]
The Commander of the Faithful, Imam Ali stated:
O people! People were not born slaves. Verily all people are free."[Mizan al-Hikmat, v.2, p.351]
And he also stated:
Do not be anyone's slave since God created you to be free." [Bihar al-Anwar, v.77, p.214]
Then we must note that what is meant by freedom is freedom from slavery and worship of other men, freedom from lust, erroneous instincts and moral corruption. Man is born pure and innocent as a superior creature free from slavery with nobility and honor. In short, man is free from all vices and has free will. He is then guided by God, his own wisdom and nature, the Prophets, the Imams, the Holy Quran and the sages to use this freedom and free will in order to make the best choices and become prosperous in this world and in the Hereafter.
If an individual pays no attention to the above-mentioned explanations and turns his back on God's guidance, undoubtedly one will lose the pearl of freedom, free will and control when dealing with the tyrants and the Satans of the time. One will get involved in greediness, haughtiness, jealousy, instincts and lust. That person will be a slave to the world and other people. He/she will be a slave to lust and instincts, a prisoner of greediness and will not benefit from nobility, prosperity and the blessings of this world and of the Hereafter.
There are some who commit any crime and pollute themselves with any sort of lust and sin: They obey anybody and call this roguery "freedom." They are ignorant slaves, vile servants, contemptible bondsmen and poor creatures.
The Commander of the Faithful (Pbuh) stated:
Those who give up their unlawful desires are really free men.
He also said:
The world is simply a highway and the people on it are of two groups: The first have sold themselves to lust, materialism and dirty tricks. They are in danger of perishing. The second group have freed themselves from all those disgusting acts: They are free of any sort of evil in this world and punishment in the Hereafter."
Imam Sadiq (Pbuh) stated:
There are five characteristics which if a man does not have one, there would remain not much in him to benefit from:
1) Faithfulness; 2) Thinking about the future; 3) Modesty; 4) Being good-tempered; 5) Freedom, which is what causes all these characteristics to come together in an individual. [Mawa'ez Al-Adadieh, p.268.]
Imam Ali (Pbuh) said:
Do not let greediness enslave you since God has created you to be free. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.2, pp.351-2]
He also stated:
One of the divine favors granted to the free individual is to legally earn his living. [Ibid]
source : The structure of family in Islam
