At first we will mention the following words from the Commander of the Faithful about prosperity. These divine and wise words have risen out of his heavenly heart to guide man towards prosperity. In response to one who asked what prosperity is he said: Prosperity does not depend on having more wealth, children, but it depends on having more knowledge, patience and perseverance; and on being proud of your worshipping of God. Thank God if you have good behavior. Ask God for forgiveness, if you do bad deeds. There is no property in this world for anyone except those who have committed sins and repented; and those who have striven to do good deeds. Deeds which are done with piety are not trivial. How can such deeds be so small if they are accepted? [Nahj ul-Balaghah, Commented on by Ibn Abel Hadid, v.18, p.250]

In these divine sayings three facts have been pointed out: being knowledge; perseverance; and the application of both which is God\'s worship. It is also mentioned that knowledge, perseverance and their application should be void of sin to be accepted by God. Knowledge of an impious one, perseverance mixed with sin, and worship without piety are all sources of harm or a waste of time. Those who achieved something in this world achieved it through knowledge and wisdom, worship and repentance, and piety and abstinence. The uninformed and the unwise; the weak and the impatient; the slaves of lust and carnal desires; the ones who delve in sin; and the refugees from good deeds are all useless folks who are a source of harm.

We can conclude from these divine words that parents must first realize their Islamic duties towards their children, and then patiently perform their duties. They should be happy and proud of doing these duties, and thank God for enabling them to attend to the needs of their children, and respect their rights. If they have had some shortcomings in performing their duties, they should ask God to forgive them. They should be pious in all aspects so that their efforts are not wasted. There is no doubt that attending to the needs of the children, and striving to provide for them is a great form of worship and a good deed which will be rewarded both here and in the Hereafter.

Children’s Rights

The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

The rights of the child over the father consist of teaching him/her writing, swimming and shooting, and should only feed him/her clean and lawfully-earned food.

Of course, one need not directly perform these duties. If the father just sends his child to school, and swimming and shooting classes, he has done his job. The duty of feeding them only lawfully earned food is really important, and one must be very careful about this so that no problems arise here or in the Hereafter. How good it would be if there were sports clubs and mosques next to all our schools so that our children could go to learn how to swim or shoot after their studies, or could go to the mosque to learn religious matters. Thus, in addition to physical and mental development, they would receive spiritual training too. Literacy, swimming, shooting and eating lawfully earned food are four sources of power for the children. Once they are equipped with these, they will be safe from many dangers. Pursuit of such activities shall fill the free time of the youth, and is very effective in balancing out their instincts and sexual energy. In the book entitled \"Mukhlat\", Sheik Bahayee has narrated that a man called Hassan said:

Should I find a bit of lawfully earned bread, I will dry it; grind it firmly until it turns into powder, and keep it. Then whenever someone comes to me with an illness being difficult to cure, I will feed him with a bit of it so that he gets cured.

The Effects of Lawfully or Unlawfully Obtained Food

I heard the following from one of the great religious scholars: When I studied in Qum as a student of Imam Khomeini, I used to go to the villages for preaching during the first ten days of the month of Muharram. I went to Imam Khomeini and asked him for permission to go to a new village to preach for which I had been invited to do so. The Imam prayed for me and advised me on how to treat the people and preach. I went to that village.

When I entered that village which had no more than two to three thousand residents, I saw a religious-looking farmer who asked if I had come there to preach. When I replied positively, he told me to only preach about the lawful and the unlawful as ordained by God. This, he said, is what they need to know the most about since they do not care about it. Then he asked me not to go to anyone\'s house except his since he is the only one who strictly watches out for the divinely ordained lawful and unlawful. He added that I would be more enlightened and preach better if I dined at his house. So I went to stay at his house, and everything was fine just as he had predicted. I could deliver a good speech whenever I wanted to preach in the mosque. He used to leave the house early each morning to go to the field, and I left the house with him. He would come to the mosque for evening prayers, and we returned to his house together after the preaching.

One day I accepted someone else\'s invitation to go to his house. I did not inform my host. When I wanted to preach that night I was not at ease. The audience did not notice anything but I had a hard time getting words out of my mouth! My host who was among the audience noticed my unusual state, and gave me a few bad looks which implied his objection to what I had done. When we went back to his house that night, he asked me why I went to someone else\'s house to eat that day. He stated that he realized this from the way I preached. He ordered me not to go to anyone else\'s house to eat for the rest of the duration of my stay there. He also advised me never again to eat unlawfully obtained food and be careful about whom I associate with. Once again I shall remind you about what to feed your children by stating the divine words of the Prophet:

Do not take home anything but what is lawfully earned for your family\'s daily bread.

Sheik Zahed

Sheik Muhammad Husayn Zahed was a noble scholar in Tehran. He was a real mystic who attracted many young fellows to the mosque or religious ceremonies and gave them religious training. He once told me that he was invited to a place where he should not have gone. He had only one ice cream there. When he got up at night to perform his ablutions in preparation for prayers, and then he fell down the stairs. He got injured and his wife treated the wound on his forehead. He could not pray due to the pain, and fell asleep. Then he heard a voice asking him why he had eaten that ice cream. He woke up and realized that his injured head was a penalty for committing that sin. The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

The child\'s right over his/her father is that a good name be chosen for him/her, the provision of the means for his/her marriage when the time comes, and teaching him/her how to read and write. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.10, p.720].

A man asked the Prophet (Pbuh) what rights do his children have over him? He replied:

Coose good names for them, teach them proper behavior and place them in good position. [Ibid]

He also said:

If a child grows up and gets ready for marriage, and the father can provide for his/her marriage but does not do so, then the father is responsible for any sin committed by the child. [Ibid].

The Commander of the Faithful said: The rights of a child over his/her father include the choice of a good name, good upbringing and teaching him/her the Quran. One of the men from the Ansar asked Imam Sadiq whom should he treat kindly? He replied: Your parents. He said they have perished. The Imam said: Treat your children kindly. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.104, p.98]

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: Adorn your children with the following three characteristics: Love for your Prophet, love for the Household of the Prophet, and reading the Quran. It is the duty of the father to acquaint the children with the Prophet (Pbuh) and the pure Household of the Prophet. This should start from childhood so that the child grows up with their love and recognition. The child can also coordinate all his/her life affairs with them, and adopt no other model to follow. This is because love of the Prophet, of the Imams, and following them are the best sources of prosperity for man.

A Good Memory

The first time I was invited to preach in Tabriz, I asked those who invited me to get me a moderate-priced place to stay in the poor areas of town. They accepted my condition. When I reached Tabriz, I was housed in a two-story building. The house owner lived in one story and the other story was used for religious meetings. He was a common man with a moderate income. He was religious. He asked me if I knew the reason why I was housed there? I told him that I had set up such a condition. He then told me that was not so. He said that he had attended one of the religious meetings I had held in Mashhad on the day of Arafeh. At the end of that day, he had gone to the shrine of Imam Reza and prayed to house me if I should ever come to preach in Tabriz. He believed that Imam Reza had planned this.

He said that he and his family are all dedicated to serve the Household of the Prophet, and those who serve them. He then told me the following which was related to his father. He said his father used to say prayers at night throughout his whole life. He would kindly wake up his son since the age of thirteen and tell him that at night when everybody is sleeping, it is the best time to cry for the oppressions done to Imam Husayn. He told me that they are loyal to Imam Husayn and will not quit serving him until they die and join him in the Hereafter to serve him again. Imam Sadiq said:

A child should play for seven years, then study the book for another seven years, and then learn about lawfully and unlawfully obtained goods during the next seven years. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.10, p.222]

The Commander of the Faithful said:

Ask your children to seek knowledge. [Ibid]

He also said:

Teach your children the prayer, and be serious about their prayers when they mature.

We read in three important Prophetic traditions that the parents may be cursed by the children if they do not honor their rights, and the same holds for the children. Both sides are required to honor each other\'s rights. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.74, p.70; Mizan al-Hikmat, v.10, p.723]

A Note to Parents

The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

 A good deed is recorded for whoever kisses his/her child. God will be pleased in the Hereafter with whoever pleases his/her child. The parents who teach their children the Quran shall be called in the Hereafter and given two dresses which are so shiny that will illuminate the residents of Heaven. [Furu al-Kafi, v.6, p.49]

The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

Whoever has a small child, should play childish games with him. [Vasa\'il, v.15, p.203]

The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

Whoever kindly raises his daughter, kindly trains her, and feeds her from whatever God has bestowed upon him, shall have prepared himself a shelter from the Fire of Hell. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.10, pp.705-707].

The Prophet (Pbuh) has made the following recommendations regarding children:

Fear God and treat your children equally.[Ibid]

Do not treat your children differently in terms of gifts, just as you like to be treated fairly. [Ibid]

God likes you to treat your children equally even when kissing them.[Ibid]

The Prophet (Pbuh) saw a man with two kids. He was kissing one and ignoring the other. He told him he should treat them equally, and kiss both of them if he wants to kiss them. [Ibid]

 

The Rights of the Parents

Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, And that ye be kind to parents. [Holy Quran: BaniIsrail: 17:23, p.700.]

A Heavy Burden

Honoring the rights of the parents is a really heavy burden which only those who truly believe in God and the Hereafter can bear. The Holy Quran has stated the characters of a believer in:

 The answer of the Believers, when summoned to God and His Apostle, in order that He may judge between them, is no other than this: They say, \"We hear and we obey\": It is such as these that will attain felicity. [Holy Quran: Nur: 24:51-52]

Note the following verse regarding the rights of the parents: Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, And that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, But address them in terms of honor. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say:

My Lord! bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood. [Holy Quran: BaniIsrail: 17:23-24]

The fact that the rights of the parents are placed right after the rights of God shows the importance of these rights. This has been discussed in detail in the highly valuable book \"Kafi\", v.2, p.157. A tradition from Imam Sadiq has been written there. Usul al-Kafi is an authentic book due to the author being the noble, late Kolayni who lived during the period of the short absence of the twelfth Imam, its contents, and their narrators being close to the times of the Immaculate Imams. Its order and the attention it has received make it one of the most important sources of religious principles. Then no one\'s excuse shall be accepted after the interpretation of this important verse narrated from Imam Sadiq regarding the rights of parents. When Imam Sadiq was asked about the meaning of this verse, he said: When it is said treat your parents kindly it is meant that you should associate with them patiently and treat them kindly; do not encounter them with a bad attitude; provide for them whatever they may need without their having to ask for it, even if they are rich; and take them something whenever you go to visit them. Has not God said:

By no means shall ye attain righteousness unless ye give (freely) of that which ye love; [Holy Quran: Al-i-Imran: 3:92]

Imam Sadiq said:

If one of your parents or both of them were old, impatient and weak so much so that it bothers you, do not say the least thing to them. Do not raise your voice even if they hit you. Speak with them kindly, using only noble words. If they try to hit you again, just tell them may God forgive both of you.

These are noble words. Then Imam Sadiq instructs us to be most humble with them; to look at them with passion; to always honor them and to never walk in advance. He says you must pray for them to receive God’s Mercy since they raised you from childhood till now. In another verse God said:

 And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command),\"Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal. But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear their company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to Me (in love): in the End the return of you all is to Me, and I will tell you the truth (and meaning) of all that ye did.\" [Holy Quran: Luqman: 31:14-15]

An Amazing Point

Once he was appointed to the Prophethood, Moses was ordered to use gentle speech when dealing with the Pharaoh. He asked the reason why and was told that Pharaoh had spent fifteen years of his life to raise him, and had suffered much hardship to raise him from when he was a baby until he matured. Then he had the rights of parents and Moses should not talk in harsh words with him.

A Delicate Issue

In the Quranic interpretation called Menhaj, we read the following regarding the verse.

 Did He not find thee an orphan and give thee shelter (and care)? [Holy Quran: Dhuha: 93:6]

God the Almighty told the Prophet (Pbuh) that He took away his father before his birth, and took away his mother when he was still a child. This was done because the Prophet (Pbuh) would have had a great difficulty in honoring the rights of his parents, given his especial circumstances as a Prophet of God.

Traditions Regarding Parent\'s Rights

A narrator asked Imam Sadiq: Which of our deeds are the best? He replied: Being punctual about praying, being kind to parents, and fighting in the way of God. [Kafi, v.2, p.158]

Imam Sadiq said:

What prevents you from treating your parents kindly whether they are living or have passed away. One asked the Imam what he should do for his parents who have passed away. He replied: Pray, give charity, go on the Hajj pilgrimage and fast on their behalf.[Kafi; v.2, p.159]

Zacharias Serves His Parents

Zacharias, the son of Abraham, said he was a strict Christian, and then became a Muslim. He said he was happy and went to Mecca to see Imam Sadiq. Imam Sadiq told him to ask any questions he wished to ask. Then he told Imam Sadiq that his family members were all Christian. His mother was blind, and he had to live with them since his father had no one else to rely on. He said his parents liked him to eat and drink from the same set of dishes. Imam Sadiq asked him if his parents ate any pork. He replied no. Then he asked if they touched any pigs? He answered no. Then Imam Sadiq ordered him not to leave their house; not to separate from his mother; to take care of her; to bathe her; to change her clothes; and to feed her.

He said he followed all these instructions upon his return to Kufa. Then his mother told him to tell her the truth about having become a Muslim. Then he told her yes, and said he had been ordered by his living leader, Imam Sadiq who was a descendant of the Prophet (Pbuh), to perform all these services. His mother asked him if he was the Prophet. He replied no. He is the sixth Imam and is the descendant of the Prophet. The mother replied no: The things you do for me are the decrees of the Prophets of God. I am blind, but I realize that your religion is better than mine. I want you to guide me towards your religion. Then he guided his mother to become a Muslim, and she performed her noon prayers with him. At eve, she asked to say his evening prayers and let her say her prayers with him. She did so, and passed away after she had finished her prayers.

Then he remembered that Imam Sadiq had instructed him to bury his mother by himself if she passed away. He invited the Shiites early the next morning. Then they told him to call in her priest. He told them that she was a Muslim, and they helped him to bury her. [Vasa\'il, v.21, p.491]. Jaber Jafi said the following: I was in the presence of Imam Sadiq. A man came and said: My parents are Sunni and very strict in their ways so how should I treat them? Imam asked him how he treats real Shiites. He replied with love, and assist them in solving their problems. Imam said: Treat your parents likewise. [Ibid, p.490]

Imam Baqir said:

A young fellow served his parents well during their lifetime. However, his parents willed that he should repay a loan they could not. He refused to do so, and did not even ask God to forgive them. For this reason, God ordered that he be registered as one who is damned by his parents. Another child who was damned by his parents during his lifetime, paid back their debts after they passed away, and sought God\'s forgiveness for them, and was registered amongst those who treat their parents well. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.74, p.59].

Imam Sadiq has been narrated as saying the following in the book called \"Amali\":

Moses saw a beautiful face in the shade of heaven. He asked whose shadow was over him? He was told he was one who has really treated his parents well and had never gossiped or caused disunion.

The sixth Imam said:

If you desire death to be easy for you, visit your relatives and be kind to your parents. Then the angel of death will be told to take it easy on you, and you will not become poor during your lifetime.

Next to the Ka’aba a man asked Abuzar why he looked at Ali\'s face a lot. He replied that when he was next to the Prophet (Pbuh) and there was not any distance between him and the Imam, the Prophet, told him: Looking at Ali\'s face and kindly looking at one\'s parents is considered to be worship. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.38, p.196]

Imam Ali said:

Accept all your parents orders, except for sinning.

 The seventh Imam said:

A man asked the Prophet (Pbuh) to explain the rights of the father. He said: Do not call him by his name. Do not walk ahead of him. Do not sit down before he does, and do not swear at him. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.74, p.45]

Imam Sadiq said:

Three things are obligatory for children regarding their parents. They should always be grateful to them; they should accept their advice on all matters except sinning, and they should always wish them well. [Tuhaf ul-Uqool, v.47, p.238].

The Prophet (Pbuh) said that the following statement implies parents’ damnation:

Do whatever you wish, I will not forgive you. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.74, pp.61-74]

He also said:

Two things are quickly penalized in this world. They are being damned by one\'s parents and committing fornication. [Ibid]

He also said:

Anyone who makes his/her parents really sad, is damned by them. [Ibid]

The sixth Imam said:

Looking meanly at parents causes damnation.

A man told the Prophet: There is no evil deed which I have not done. Is there any way for me to repent? The Prophet (Pbuh) asked him if his parents were alive. He replied that his mother had passed away, but his father was alive. He told him to go and treat his father kindly so that his sins be forgiven. When the man left the mosque, the Prophet (Pbuh) said: He would have been closer to forgiveness by God, if his mother was still alive. Moses asked God for some recommendations three times. Then he was twice recommended to treat his mother well, and once to treat his father well. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.13, p.330]

Imam Baqir said:

One is not free in the following three cases: He is not free to do as he pleases in regards to what he is entrusted with, his promise, and being kind to his parents. [Vasa\'il, v.21, p.490].

Sheik Ansari and His Mother

The great jurisprudent, and noble scholar called Sheik Ansari used to carry his mother on his back to the public bath house, and would then take her back home after her bath was finished. He used to come to kiss her hands at night, and would not leave the house without her permission. After she died, he cried a lot saying that he cries because he is now deprived of the great blessing of serving her. He compensated for all of her missed prayers by praying even though he was really busy teaching and had many who came to visit him. Although his mother was one of the most religious women at that time, he performed all those duties.

Mother\'s Damnation

A young man was about to die. The Prophet (Pbuh) came to visit him, and told him to profess to God\'s unity and his Prophethood. He turned away his face and refused to profess. The Prophet (Pbuh) asked if he had a mother. He replied positively. He called her in and asked if she was not pleased with him. She replied positively. The Prophet (Pbuh) asked her to forgive him since he could not profess to God\'s unity. She said he had hurt her and she was upset with him. The Prophet (Pbuh) asked her to forgive him for the sake of the Prophet. She agreed and forgave her son. Then the Prophet (Pbuh) asked the young man to profess to God\'s unity and his Prophethood. The man uttered the words. Then the Prophet (Pbuh) asked him why he had not uttered it the first time. The man said a scary dragon would attack him and he could not talk. He added that now it had left and he could talk.[Manazel al-Akherat, Mohades Qumi].

 Imam Sajjad said:

Note the following regarding your mother. She carried you for nearly nine months in her womb, no one else could do so. She dedicated her love to you, no one else would do so; she protected you with all her existence, fed you and was hungry herself; gave you things to drink; and she remained thirsty herself; she clothed you, and did not care for her own clothing; she felt hot, but protected you from heat; she stayed up to care for you at night; and protected you in all circumstances so that she may have a child like you. You cannot be grateful enough for all she did unless God helps you. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.14, p.6]

Hakam Nami said that he told the sixth Imam: My father had donated a house to me, and he now plans to move back into it. The Imam said: Your father\'s deed is not good, but do not fight back if he fights with you; and talk calmly with him, if he yells at you. [Vasa\'il, v.18, p.224]

A Couple’s Duties to Their Relatives

Say: Whatever ye spend that is good, is for parents and kindred... [Holy Quran: Baqara: 2:215]

Relatives

Each husband and wife has some relatives. Neither one is allowed to force the other to stop seeing them. Each one has parents, brothers and sisters, uncles, aunts, nieces and nephews, grandparents, etc. Visiting them is considered worship, and associating with them is an excellent deed and can help resolve many difficulties. A wife should not be so unreasonable not to let her husband\'s relatives come to visit them, or be rude with them when they come for a visit. She should not stop her husband from associating with his relatives. The house is the husband\'s property, and God has granted him authority over the wealth and property. A woman is religiously required to obey her husband. Bothering him is also religiously forbidden. Preventing him from associating with his parents, brothers and sisters, or other relatives is totally immoral, inhumane and against man\'s nature. A man should not prevent his wife from associating with her parents and relatives either. This too is against human passion and love. The wife and children who prevent one from performing good deeds, worshipping, and associating with relatives are considered man\'s enemies by the Quran. They are not enemies whose hearts are filled with hatred. Rather they are enemies who want to prevent us from attaining prosperity in this world and the Hereafter.

A man should not give in to his wife or children in his attempts to do good deeds, solving the problems of the people, associating with relatives, aiding his parents, brothers or sisters. Of course, believing women who accept the Hereafter; feel responsible; want to prosper in the Hereafter; recognize that they must respect their husband\'s rights; adhere to divine etiquette and are in total agreement with their husbands. They even encourage their husbands to associate with and help his relatives, whenever they feel that their husbands are not serious enough in this regard. But women who oppose God, or children who demand things opposed to God\'s religion, are considered to be man\'s enemy by the Quran. Man is instructed to do the following in these situations:

 O ye who believe! Truly, among your wives and your children are (some that are) enemies to yourselves: so beware of them! But if ye forgive and overlook, and cover up (their faults), verily God is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.[Holy Quran: Tagabun: 64:14, p.1558.]

You should not fight, separate, or get angry in this case. Just let them insist on their views, and you yourself stay steadfast in obeying God and spending in his way. Some women are really unreasonable. They are deprived of God’s Mercy, and wish to deprive others of God’s Mercy too. Some men are also too strict, and do this unreasonably and without any gain but deprivation from God’s Mercy and favor. Why do some women refuse to let their husband\'s relatives come to their house, and not let their husband assist his relatives financially, while all their own relatives can come to their house and use the husband\'s property to serve them as they please. In these cases, many months or years go by and the husband aspires to see his relatives and visit him, but the wife\'s relatives are continually coming and going. Is this not a form of oppression against the husband and his relatives?

Is this not the same dangerous mental state which is damned by God and deprived of His Mercy. Such a woman will not have a good Hereafter. And why do some men prevent their wives from visiting their relatives. This is not liked by God, is a Satanic act and is certainly going to cause one to be deprived of God’s Mercy. In addition to the verses on visiting the next of kin, the Holy Quran has mentioned relatives twenty-three times, and has issued some very important decrees in this regard. A believing man is supposed to use the Prophet (Pbuh) as his model and abide by his decrees in all issues. One duty is to guide his relatives, since man always needs guidance.

And admonish thy nearest kinsmen, [Holy Quran: Shu\'araa: 26:214]

How good is it for a man to gather his relatives and those of his wife in his house every once in a while; and advise them about the religiously forbidden and allowed things; and admonish them about the consequences of evil acts and bad behavior; and introduce jurisprudence and religious issues to them. Guiding the people towards divine issues is similar to the act of the Prophets of God and the Imams, and has an astonishing reward. It is said that Allameh Majlesi carried out this program for his wife, child and relatives every Thursday night; and he considered it a duty since scientific charity is similar to financial charity, and is liked by God. The Quran considers being kind to one’s relatives similar to being kind to one’s parents, thus showing the importance of having good family ties.

 And remember We took a covenant from the Children of Israel (to this effect): Worship none but God; treat with kindness your parents and kindred; and orphans and those in need; speak fair to the people; be steadfast in prayer; and practise regular charity. Then did ye turn back, except a few among you, and ye backslide (even now). [Holy Quran: Baqara 2:83]

Love for wealth and property is a part of human nature. Was it not for this love, no one would be motivated to go to work in industry, arts, business or agriculture. Man loves what he earns by hard work. The Glorious Quran asks man to use what he loves so much for solving the problems of his relatives. Doing so is one of the signs of the believers.

 To spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans [Holy Quran: Baqara: 2:177]

Relatives are so important in relation to one that they inherit one\'s property after his/her death. Note the following verse in this regard.

 But if at the time of division other relatives...[Holy Quran: Nisaa: 4:8]

The respect for relatives is very important. They are so honorable that God\'s book orders us to be just even when we talk to our relatives.

Whenever ye speak, speak justly, even if a near relative is concerned; [Holy Quran: An\'am: 6:152]

Belittling, making fun of or vain talk about relatives are all against the religion and are immoral acts. God has ordered everyone to be kind and just, and has specifically mentioned relatives in this regard.

 God commands justice, the doing of good, and liberality to kith and kin [Holy Quran: Nahl: 16:90]

God does not like one who is rich to ignore those who need his charity. This is also unaccepted from the viewpoint of the intellect, logic, man\'s nature, ethics and the religion.

 Let not those among you who are endued with grace and amplitude of means resolve by oath against helping their kinsmen [Holy Quran: Nur: 24:22]

We are strictly ordered to be just when we witness in a court, and also avoid hiding what we know and can witness to even if it is against our interest and that of our parents and relatives.

O ye who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to God, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin [Holy Quran: Nisaa: 4:135]

Also we are instructed not to seek forgiveness for our relatives as long as they are polytheists.

It is not fitting, for the Prophet and those who believe, that they should pray for forgiveness for Pagans, even though they be of kin [Holy Quran: Tauba: 9:113]

We are also instructed not to be friends with our parents, children or relatives if they are enemies of God and his Prophet.

 Thou wilt not find any people who believe in God and the Last Day, loving those who resist God and His Apostle, even though they were their fathers or their sons, or their brothers, or their kindred. For such He has written Faith in their hearts, and strengthened them with a spirit from Himself. And He will admit them to Gardens beneath which Rivers flow, to dwell therein (forever). God will be well pleased with them, and they with Him. They are the Party of God. Truly it is the Party of God that will achieve Felicity.[Holy Quran Mujadila 58:22]

Except for these especial cases, relatives are considered as a unit. The husband or the wife do not have the right to forbid the other one from associating with his/her relatives. Women, especially, are not allowed to forbid their husbands from such highly rewarding acts. I recommend to couples to honor the twenty-three verses of the Quran about relatives, and respect their relatives, invite them over, and help them financially if they need so. As can be understood from the traditions, the woman should be careful not to make her husband angry, since his anger and unhappiness is similar to God\'s anger and unhappiness. None of the deeds of a woman whose husband is not pleased with her is accepted by God. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.100, p.244].

Imam Sadiq said:

Damned is a woman who bothers her husband and makes him sad. [Ibid, p.253].

This can be partly related to the husband\'s relatives. She may be unreasonable without any logical or religious reasons, and in this way she deprives herself of God’s Mercy.

 

 

 

28

Observing the Relations of the Womb

 

Those who join together those things which God hath commanded to be joined.[Holy Quran: Ra\'d: 13:21]

The Quran and Visiting Relatives

Visiting relatives is one of the very good deeds that the Prophet, and the Imams have much insisted on. Mulla Husayn Fayz, who was a great philosopher, mystic and scholar spent his life with the Glorious Quran and Prophetic traditions. He considered visiting the relatives to include going to see them, and helping the relatives with their finances or business, or helping young couples to marry. This meaning can be understood from the Quranic verses and traditions, too. The Prophet and the Imams did exactly these things when they visited their relatives, too. This act is greatly stressed in the Quran. It is done by the wise, and cutting off relations with the relatives is considered to be an act of corruption. The Quran has instructed us to fear God when interacting with our relatives, and God has mentioned relatives just after Himself

Reverence God, through Whom ye demand your mutual (rights), and (reverence) the wombs (that bore you): [Holy Quran: Nisaa: 4:1]

The wise are considered to have some traits as mentioned in the Holy Chapter Ra\'d. The benefits gained in the Hereafter are being greeted and welcomed by angels.

 Those who join together those things which God hath commanded to be joined.[Holy Quran: Ra\'d: 13:21]

We read in the Chapter Baqara the following regarding cutting off of relations:

 And who sunder what God has ordered to be joined, and do mischief on earth: These cause loss (only) to themselves.[Holy Quran: Baqara: 2:27]

Yes, cutting off relations is a cause for a great loss. There is another alarming verse in the chapter Ra\'d regarding this issue:

And cut asunder those things which God has commanded to be joined, and work mischief in the land;-- on them is the Curse; for them is the terrible Home! [Holy Quran: Ra\'d: 13:25]

We read in chapter Muhammad:

Then, is it to be expected of you, if ye were put in authority, that ye will do mischief in the land, and break your ties of kith and kin? [Holy Quran: Muhammad: 47:22]

So we see that visiting relatives is so important that it yields prosperity and the greeting and welcoming of man by angels in the Hereafter. And the cutting off of relations with relatives will result in damnation, a bad ending and not being saved. Respectfully helping the relatives with their financial problems is highly rewarding.

 And the likeness of those who spend their substance, seeking to please God and to strengthen their souls, is as a garden, high and fertile: heavy rain falls on it but makes it yield a double increase of harvest, and if it receives not heavy rain, light moisture sufficeth it. God seeth well whatever ye do. [Holy Quran: Baqara: 2:265]

If ye disclose (acts of) charity, even so it is well, but if ye conceal them, and make them reach those (really) in need, that is best for you: It will remove from you some of your (stains of) evil. And God is well acquainted with what ye do. [Holy Quran: Baqara: 2:271]

Those who (in charity) spend of their goods by night and by day, in secret and in public, have their reward with their Lord: on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.[Holy Quran: Baqara: 2:274]

A Good Plan

Let’s invite all our relatives, and recite to the rich ones the verses and traditions on visiting and helping relatives and ask each one of them to donate some money regularly. Then we can open an account or give the money to a trustworthy member of the family. If a problem arises for a poor relative, we can respectfully give him a loan or a donation. Then he can use the money to buy a house, some needed furniture, a trousseau for his daughter or pay for marrying off his son. This is a very good act, it helps a lot of people and is highly rewarding as stated before. Let’s try to describe this plan to others and encourage them to implement it. If this is widely implemented in the country, then a heavy burden is lifted off of the government\'s budget, and the assisting relatives get a great reward. In the Quranic verses on charity, helping the relatives has the highest priority. Then the orphans, the disabled, the poor, and the bankrupt are mentioned.

To spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans. [Holy Quran: Baqara: 2:177]

An Amazing Story

Saduq has narrated Imam Sadiq as having said the following based on an authentic document:

Jonah was supplicating and praying inside the stomach of a fish. His voice was delivered to Korah\'s soul which was undergoing God\'s Punishment at the time of an eclipse. He asked whose voice it was. The Angel of Punishment said that it was the voice of one of the Israelite Prophets. He requested permission to have a brief talk with him. Permission was granted. He asked about Aaron and Moses. Then Jonah replied that they had both perished and he was living at a different time. Then Korah cried. God said His Punishment should be reduced due to feeling sorry for his relatives.

Traditions About Visiting Relatives

The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

Help your relatives, even if you give them a drink of water. The best form of helping relatives is not to bother them. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.74, p.103].

The relatives\' feelings get injured when they are ignored or belittled. That is why the best form of helping relatives is not to injure their feelings. He also said: Visit your relatives in this world even if you just say hello. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.74, p.104]

The Prophet (Pbuh) has been narrated as saying: Walk one year to visit your relatives. He also has said the following in an important tradition: To the society at this time and the times to come, and those who are in their father\'s loin or their mother\'s womb, I advise you all to visit your relatives even if it takes a whole year. Indeed visiting your relatives is a part of your religion. [Ibid].

There are many important traditions which outline the benefits of visiting relatives. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.74, pp.111-126]. We will cite a few of these traditions here. Imam Baqir said:

Visiting relatives will purify your deeds, increase your wealth, remove any catastrophes, and delay the time of your death.

Imam Sadiq said:

Visiting relatives and doing good deeds will ease the accounting for our deeds in the Hereafter, and will protect us from committing sins. Then visit your relatives and be kind with your brethren, even if it is just limited to warm greetings.

The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

Visiting relatives will prolong your life and eliminate poverty. Visiting relatives will expand towns, and prolong the lives, even if those you visit are not good people. God shall grant the reward of one hundred martyrs to the one who visits his relatives and helps them with his life and property. For each step that you take to visit your relatives, God will record four thousand good deeds, and remove four thousand evil deeds, and provide four thousand raises in your status. It is just as if you have sincerely worshipped God for one-hundred years.

 The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

There is a heavenly status that only those who are just leaders, visit their relatives, or patiently take care of their wife and children shall attain. He told Abuzar to go to visit his relatives, even if they go mad when seeing him. He said if they did not accept you, go again. Finally you will succeed. If they do not follow God\'s orders, don\'t follow suit.

 A man told the Prophet (Pbuh) that he visited his relatives, but some of them bothered him, and he wanted to cut off his relations with them. The Prophet (Pbuh) told him that if he did that, God would abandon all of them. He asked what he should do. The Prophet (Pbuh) told him to visit those who cut off their relations, and forgive those who mistreated him. Then God will raise him higher in status over them.

Traditions About Cutting Off Relations

Abu Basir has narrated that when he asked Imam Sadiq about someone who wished to cut off his relations from those who oppose the Imam, the Imam replied this was not right. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.75, p.185].

Jahm, the son of Hamid said that he told Imam Sadiq the following: I have relatives who follow other religions. Do they have any rights over me? The Imam replied: Nothing can nullify the rights of relatives. If they were Muslim, then they had two rights: First being a relative and the second being a Muslim. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.74, p.131].

Imam Baqir said:

I found the following in the Prophet\'s book (the Quran): When the people cut off their ties from their relatives, the wicked people get a hold of their property.[Bihar al-Anwr, v.73, p.369.]

 The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

Three groups of people will not enter Heaven: alcoholics, those who believe in magic, and those who cut off their ties from their relatives. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.74, p.90]

The Commander of the Faithful said:

I seek refuge with God from sins which hasten death.

He was asked whether there existed sins that bring on death faster. He replied:

Yes. Woe to you! It is the sin of cutting off relations from your relatives. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.74, p.137]

He also said:

The worst of all sins are the cutting off of relations with relatives and being damned by parents. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.4, p.89].

The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

God’s Mercy shall not be bestowed upon a nation in which these are some who cut off relations with their relatives. [Ibid]

The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

The angels will not descend upon those people among whom these are ones who cut off relations with their relatives. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.4, p.89].

Mutevakel\'s son told Imam Hadi that his father deserved to be killed and asked for permission to do so. He was asked not to do so since he was his son. He was also warned that should he do so, he will not stay alive for more than six months.