Certainly Allah orders equity, kindness

The Creator of the Universe, Almighty Allah remarks in the Holy Quran:
"Certainly Allah orders equity, kindness (to people) and the giving (of what they need) to the relatives." 
(Surah Nahl 16:90)

In Surah Raad is the following verse:
"And those who join that which Allah has bidden to be joined and have awe of their Lord and fear the evil reckoning." 
(Surah Raad 13:21)

The expression 'reckoning' in this Ayat denotes the accounting of one's deeds with regard to his duty of kindness towards relatives. This Ayat shows that kindness towards the kith and kin shall be an important factor to ease the difficulty of the accounting for one's deeds.

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) explains as follows:
"Kindness to relatives makes the reckoning (of the Hereafter) easy." 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

The Inimical Relative of Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.)

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) made a will in his last moments: 
"Pay seventy Dinars to my paternal cousin Hasan Aftas."

He was asked, "Master you are making a gift to someone who has attacked you with a sword?"

Imam (a.s.) replied, 
"Do you think I should not be included among those concerning whom the Quran says: 
'And those who join that which Allah has bidden to be joined and have awe of their Lord and fear the evil reckoning…" 
(Surah Raad: 13:21)

Allah has created Paradise, purified it and made it fragrant. Its fragrance is felt at a distance of two thousand years (of travel). But the one who disobeys his parents or breaks ties with the kin will be so far away from Paradise, that he will not even experience its fragrance. 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

Traditions Regarding Kindness to Relatives

There are numerous traditions to the fact that Sileh Rahmi is obligatory. In one of such traditions Imam Baqir (a.s.) relates from the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) that he said:
"I will (command) all the people of my Ummat, whether present or not, and those generations which are to come till the Qiyamat, who are still in the loins of their father and wombs of their mothers, that they should be kind to their relatives (and visit them) even if they live at a distance of a year's journey. Because kindness to relatives is one of the commands which is made an integral part of the faith (Imaan)."

One Who is Kind to the Relatives Will be Able to Cross the Bridge of Siraat Smoothly

Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) relates from Hazrat Abu Zar Ghaffari (r.a.) who quotes the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) to have remarked:
'Siraat (the bridge passing over Hell that everyone has to cross) will have on each side (of it) 'Sileh Rahmi' and 'Amanat' (keeping a trust) one who performs the act of Sileh Rahmi and maintains trusts (Amanat) shall be able to cross the 'Siraat' easily and will reach Paradise.

None of the good deeds will benefit those who have broken ties with relatives or committed breach of trust. They will slip from the bridge of 'Siraat' and drop into Hell-fire. 
(Al Kafi)

The Worldly Benefits of Kindness to Relatives

Numerous reports (Rawayaat) testify that Sileh Rahmi (kindness to one's relatives) also has worldly benefits. Like, increase in the life-span, postponement of death, increase in the number of descendants etc., Hazrat Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) related three traditions from the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) in the court of Mansur Dawaniqi (l.a.).

1) "A man who has only three years of life remaining, performs an act of kindness to his relatives and Allah increases his life by thirty years. In the same way a man has thirty years of life but due to his breaking off the ties of relationship, his (remaining) life is decreased to three years. Then the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said: Whatever Allah wills He erases and whatever He wills He writes.

It means that if Allah wills He can alter (certain destinies) due to one's actions and deeds."
(Behaarul Anwaar)

2) "Fulfilling the rights of kith and kin increases the life-span even if the relative is a sinner." 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

3) Sileh Rahmi (kindness to relatives) is a cause for the easy accounting of one's deeds on the day of Qiyamat and it (Sileh Rahmi) protects one from sudden death."

Hazrat Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) has told Maysar:
(O' Maysar) the time of your death has arrived many times but Allah has postponed (your death) due to your kindness to the relatives and good behaviour towards them.

'Sileh Rahmi' Prolongs Life

It is reported from Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) that he said to Maysar,
"O Maysar, truly your lifespan has increased, what good actions have you been performing?"

Maysar replied, "In my youth I used to earn from my labours an amount of five Dinars a day and I used to give these to my maternal uncle."

Yaqoob Magribi was once in the presence of Imam Musa al-Kazim (a.s.). Imam (a.s.) said, 
"You and your brother had an argument over the ownership of a house. So much so that you abused each other and broke up the ties of relationsip. Such a thing is not from my religion, neither is it from the religion of my ancestors. Then fear Allah , the One Who is without any partner. Fear the Divine Punishment. Due to this sin, death shall soon separate you (two). Your brother will die in this journey and you shall regret you actions."

The man asked,"May my life be sacrificed upon you, when will I die?"

Imam (a.s.) replied, 
"Your death had also arrived but you did an act of kindness to your father's sister (your aunt) and thus your lifespan increased by twenty years (or months)."

As Imam (a.s.) has predicted, Yaqoob's brother died before he could reach home and was buried on the way. 
(Safinatul Behaar)

The Benefits of Sileh Rahmi in the Hereafter

The practice of Sileh Rahmi (kindness to kith and kin) accrues worldly advantages, spiritual benefits and bounties of the Hereafter.

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq says:
"Sileh Rahmi perfects the morals and encourages charity. When one performs Sileh Rahmi he has to be benevolent towards his relatives. The continuous practice of Sileh Rahmi brings refinement in his morals. In the same way repeated acts of kindness inculcate a benign and compassionate feeling in the person, and the soul is purified (from the sin of jealousy and enmity). 
(Safinatun Behaar)

Sileh Rahmi Causes All the Good Deeds to be Accepted

Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) states:
Sileh Rahmi (kindness to relatives) purifies deeds. Purification of deeds means, that the shortcomings in all the good deeds of a person practicing Sileh Rahmi are naturally compensated and all his good deeds are accepted by Allah.

It increases wealth, wards off difficulties and calamities. The accounting of your actions on the day of Qiyamat is made easy. Even the ordained time of death is postponed.

Extending Hand of Friendship Towards Those Who Want to Break the Ties (Qat-e-Rahem)

Imam Sajjad (a.s.) says:
There are two actions, towards which, a step taken is liked by Allah more than anything else. One is the step taken to join a row formed in the name of Allah (for Jehad or Namaz); the second is the one taken to extend a hand of friendship towards kith and kin who want to break relations. 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said:
"Certainly there is a section in Paradise which can not be attained except by three kinds of people. First the just Imam, second, the one who does Sileh Rahmi, and third the one who has family (and children) but remains patient (in poverty and difficulties). 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

The Reward of Sileh Rahmi

The reward for Sileh Rahmi has been described by the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) in one of his traditions. He says:
"When a person goes towards his relatives so that he can fulfill his rights with his life and his wealth, Allah bestows upon him the reward of a martyr at every step he takes. He (Allah) writes down forty thousand Hasana (the unit of Divine rewards) and He erases forty thousand of his sins and He elevates him by forty thousand grades. The person achieves the position of one who has worshipped Allah for a hundred years."
(Behaarul Anwaar)

At another place the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says, regarding the rewards for Sileh Rahmi:
"The reward for Sadaqah in the way of Allah is ten times, whereas the reward for giving a loan is twelve times (because in giving a loan the dignity of the Loanee is maintained). The reward for the good behaviour to the believing brothers is twelve times and the reward for Sileh Rahmi is twenty four times." 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

The Meaning of Sileh Rahmi and Qat-e-Rahmi

The Shariat of Islam has not provided any fixed definition for these two terms. In this case the meaning as judged by common sense and reason must be accepted. We must consider all the relatives from the father's side and mother's side, irrespective of whether they are close or distant, to be our kith and kin who have a right on us. In the same way the children of the daughters and their descendant also come in this category as the Quran says: 
'Those who join together (do Sileh Rahmi) those things which Allah has commanded to be joined."
(Surah Raad 13:21)

Urwah Ibne-Yazeed asked Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) the meaning of this Ayat (Surah Raad 13:21), the Imam (a.s.) replied;
"You have been commanded to do Sileh Rahmi towards all your relatives. Whether they are Mehram (in the prohibited category of marriage) or Namehram, (not in the prohibited category) whether they are distant relatives or closely related, whether they are immediate relatives or separated by several generations." 
(Al Kafi)

No Discrimination Between the Affluent and the Poor Relatives

It is generally observed that people tend to behave graciously towards their wealthy relatives and avoid the poor ones. The faith of Islam does not differentiate or discriminate between the rich and the poor relatives. What is important is the closeness of relationship. The more closely a person is related to you, the more important and necessary it is to fulfill his rights.

What is Sileh Rahmi?

Any behaviour which is generally regarded by people as good, kind, gracious or obligatory, when directed towards your relatives is Sileh Rahmi.

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) says:
"The kindness towards relative and goodness towards the believing brother makes easy your reckoning on the Day of Judgement and protects you from sins. So you should be kind to your relatives and be good to your believing brothers even if it is as little as a sincere 'salaam' (salutation) or a hearty reply to a salaam." 
(Al Kafi)

At another place the Sixth Imam (a.s.) remarks:
"Do Sileh Rahmi towards your relatives and the near ones even if it is just by offering a glass of water to them." 
(Wasaelush Shia)

The Different Grades of Sileh Rahmi

Shaheed-e-Thani1 (r.a.) describes the grades of Sileh Rahmi in the following words:
It is deduced from the traditions that the highest stage of Sileh Rahmi is to consider the relatives as our own selves. That is, we should wish for our relations whatever we wish for ourselves.

The next stage of Sileh Rahmi is to help relatives overcome the difficulties and hardships they may be facing. Next, we must earnestly try to benefit our kith and kin as much as possible, in areas where they need help and of course in a manner permitted by religion. This benefit can be either economic or by way of making a person independent, by securing for him a job or initiating him into a trade. It can also be in the form of a sound advice, spiritual guidance and religious teachings.

The fourth stage of Sileh Rahmi is towards those people who are dependents of our relatives. For example, the brother's wife or the step-mother.

The simplest kind of Sileh Rahmi consists of salutations, a lesser kind is the conveying of Salaam (through someone). The smallest kind of Sileh Rahmi is to pray for relatives in their presence and to encourage them.

The Difference Between Breaking Relations With Nearest Kin and With Distant Relatives

Qat-e-Rahmi and Sileh Rahmi with respect to the close kith and kin could be different from that with the distant relatives. It is possible that a certain action or attitude towards close relative would amount to Qat-e-Rahmi but the same towards a distant relative may not be regarded as such. Also a certain behaviour with a knowledgeable and a pious relative may be termed as Qat-e-Rahmi but with respect to other relatives it may not be so. It is best to refrain from every act that could possibly amount to Qat-e-Rahmi. We must observe keen precaution in this matter lest we bring upon ourselves the severe punishment of a Greater Sin.