Fearlessness of Allah's Plan

Allah possesses two kinds of qualities, the Jamali (good) and Jalali (severe). Example of Jamali qualities are His being Rahman (Beneficent), Raheem (Merciful), Kareem (Generous), Haleem (Magnanimous), Shakoor (Thankful), Ghafoor (one who forgives).

The Jalali qualities are His being Jabbar (Mighty), Qahhar (One who punishes), Muntaqim (One who retributes), Muzallil (One who degrades), Mutakabbir (Proud) and Shadeedul Iqab (Severe in punishing). Hence Allah informs of His good qualities and then warns of His Severity: 
"Inform My servants that I am the Forgiving, The Merciful, and that My punishment - that is the painful punishment." 
(Surah Hujarat 49:50)

Elsewhere Allah says, 
"The Forgiver of faults and the Acceptor of repentance, severe to punish, Lord of bounty." 
(Surah Momin 40:3)

Thus Allah is the most Merciful of the mercifuls in the matter of forgiveness and also the most severe in retribution. 

Fear and Hope Are the Signs of Marefat

One who recognizes the boundless expanse of Allah's Mercy is bound to have great hopes; if he has repented, his sins will be forgiven, if he has worshipped Allah, his invocation will be accepted and Allah in His generosity will let him have the maximum benefits. Allah is known to be the 'Forgiver of sins' and 'Acceptor of prayers'. In the same way the knowledge of the severity of Allah's chastisement for every sin will make one tremble with fear. The fear of Allah inspires a person with Tawfeeq that insulates him from transgressing the bounds of prohibitions, and compels him towards sincere repentance. When we are in the throes of temptation to commit an aggression, we have to be extremely cautious not to give in. It may so happen that the particular sin we are about to commit will seal our fate and deprive us forever, of Allah's Mercy and forgiveness. It is narrated from Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.): 
"One who intends to commit a sin (should control his selfish desires and) must not put it to practice. Certainly when (sometimes) a person commits a sin, Allah dislikes him and says: "By My Honour and Greatness I will not forgive you after this." 
(Al Kafi)

Since there is a possibility that a sin may not be eligible for pardon, it is extremely important that we keep ourselves protected from every sin; be it big or small. In fact the sins which do not deserve to be pardoned are regarded as insignificant by the one who commits them.

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) states: 
"You must fear the small sins, for they are not pardoned."

The narrator asked, "What is meant by 'small'?" Imam replied; 
"A person commits a sin which he considers to be insignificant and says, "I deserve admiration for I have not committed a sin as serious as that of the other person." 
(Al Kafi)

Speech and Action Should Be Guarded By Divine Fear and Hope

Even if the sinner repents for his sins, he should continue to be fearful. It may be that his repentance has not fulfilled the necessary conditions. For example, he have made an intention of not repeating a sin, but later he does not remain firm upon it. We should therefore continue to live between fear and hope till the end of our lives, hoping for Allah's rewards for our good deeds and dreading the accountability of our sins committed knowingly or unintentionally.

One Must Fear the Acceptance of His Prayers

If a prayer is not accepted it should be feared that (maybe) it is because of our sins. And if it is granted, it may be that one is so disliked by Allah that He could not stand his invocation again and again and has thus accepted his prayers immediately.

Separation is the Most Painful Experience

If we are able to achieve success, be it material, intellectual or even spiritual, at all times we should be aware that our achievements are a Grace and Mercy from Allah, and not the result of our own capabilities. Thankfulness to Allah, alone earns Allah's approval. Pride and ingratitude will forever separate us from our Creator and this is the worst of the punishments.

Amirul Momineen Ali (a.s.) says in Dua-e-Kumail:
Suppose, My Lord! My Master! My Cherisher! I am able to endure your punishment, how can I endure separation from Thee. Suppose I am able to endure the heat of Thy fire, how can I endure not gazing upon Thy generosity.

How Should We Remain Till the End of our Lives

We should be very apprehensive and anxious about our end. We have seen good and pious people who, in the final stages of their lives, turned to evil. Let us implore the Merciful Lord to protect our faith, and let us die as believers. 
"Therefore take a lesson, O you who have eyes!"
(Surah Hashr:2)

Everyone Shall Be Tested

We must also be fearful of the difficult test that we have to undergo. All the believers who have attained a high position have been in constant dread of failure when put to test. The respected Book of Allah has said: 
"Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, 'We believe' and not be tried?" 
(Surah Ankaboot:2)

Hazrat Ibrahim (a.s.) and the Fire

When Hazrat Ibrahim (a.s.) was tied to a catapult to be thrown into the blazing fire he said, "Allah is sufficient for me." When Ibrahim (a.s.) claimed that Allah's help was sufficient for him, and he did not need help from anyone else, Allah decided to test him and sent Jibraeel, who asked Ibrahim (a.s.) if he had any kind of wish so that it may be fulfilled. Ibrahim (a.s.) replied, "I do have a wish but not from you." Jibraeel said: "It is correct but express your wish to the one in whom you repose hope." Hazrat Ibrahim (a.s.) replied: "He is aware of my condition hence there is no need for me to say it verbally."

Successful When Tested

Hazrat Ibrahim (a.s.) deserves admiration. In the most difficult circumstances he refrained from showing his want, even to the trustworthy angel of revelation Jibraeel (a.s.). Thus he emerged successful from the most severe test. Hence the Divine verse says: 
"And (of) Ibrahim who fulfilled (the commandments)."
(Surah Najm 53:37)

We must also not be heedless of the Divine test nor should we be fearless of Divine retribution. Even the most near ones to Allah, the angels, the prophets and the messengers were not careless in this regard. Especially in times of difficulties and calamities we have to be extra careful; constantly imploring Allah to prevent us from overstepping the boundaries prohibited by Him. Imam Sajjad (a.s.) says in the beginning of Dua-e-Abu Hamza Thumali: 
"Do not punish my sins by letting me to be heedless of your retribution."

Tawfeeq is From Allah

Let it be very clear to us that whatever good we are able to do, is only due to Tawfeeq from Allah and we have to be most humbly grateful to Allah for this tawfeeq. Thanklessness in the matter may result not only in the loss of such opportunities in the future but may even nullify the good already done, and bring us disgrace.

Wise People Fear Allah

Those who realise the Greatness and the Majesty of Allah in comparison to their own worthlessness are more fearful of Allah. Only those who realise how utterly dismal and worthless they themselves are and how exalted and Supreme is their Creator, are fearful of Allah.

The Holy Quran says: 
"Those of His servants only who are possessed of knowledge fear Allah." 
(Surah Fatir:28)

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) is reported to have said: "The fountain-head of wisdom is the fear of Allah." 
(Wasaelush Shia)

The Prophet's (s.a.) Conversation With Umme Salma

Janabe Umme Salma says that she saw the Holy Prophet of Allah in a middle of the night standing in a corner of the house and entreating Allah: "O Allah! Whatever You have given me, do not take those blessings away. Never let me become the butt of criticism and jealousy of the enemies. O Allah! Never let me return to the vices from where You have extricated me. O Allah! Do not leave me (free) to myself even for a blink of the eye (for a moment)."

Umme Salma says: When I heard these words I began to weep uncontrollably. The Prophet asked the reason for my lamentation. I replied, "Why shouldn't I weep when you, who have attained such a high position , are invocating Allah in such a (humble) way?"

Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said: 
"Why should not I fear thus. When Allah left Hazrat Yunus (a.s.) on his own for a moment, what did happen." (That is, he remained in the belly of a whale). 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

The Prophets (a.s.) and the Imams (a.s.) Were the Most Fearful

The Holy Quran commends the prophets in the following words: 
"Surely they used to hasten, one with another, in deeds of goodness and to call upon Us, hoping and fearing; and they were humble before Us."
(Anbiya 21:90)

Regarding the Holy Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) the Divine words are: 
"They fulfill vows and fear a day the evil of which shall be spreading far and wide." 
(Surah Insan 76:7)

The fear of the Prophets and the Holy Imams, specially that of Ali (a.s.) is well-known. He used to lose consciousness due to the fear of Allah. Imam Zainul Abedeen (a.s.) expresses this fear most eloquently in the Duas of Sahifa-e-Sajjadiyah. If we are to record all such examples we shall be straying away from our aim. We hope that the examples given so far will be sufficient for the intelligent.

A Believer Lives Between Fear and Hope

A believer lives in a state of anxiety and optimism, (as prescribed by the traditions) He is fearful of Divine punishment and yet hopeful of Divine Mercy. The Holy Quran says: 
"It is only the Shaitan that causes you to fear from his friends, but do not fear them, and fear Me if you are believers." 
(Aale Imran 3:175)

This type of fear is obligatory for every Muslim. The fear which refrains him from even approaching sins. Allah, the Almighty addresses his Prophet (s.a.w.s.) in the Quranic Ayat, 
"Say: Surely I fear, if I disobey my Lord, the chastisement of a grievous day." 
(Surah Anam 6:15).

Hope Should Not Cause Arrogance

The trust and hope we repose in Allah's Mercy and generosity will certainly bring us additional bounties. But this trust should not assume proportions that make us feel confident and arrogant that we think, we shall not be punished. As is mentioned in Quran, 
"Let not the arch-deceiver (Satan) deceive you respecting Allah." 
(Surah Fatir 35:5)

Allah tells the polytheists in Surah Hadid, 
"...the arch-deceiver (Satan) deceived you about Allah." 
(Surah Hadid 57:14)

The exegesis of this ayat as recorded in "Minhajus Sadeqeen' is that Satan says, "Have complete faith in the magnanimity and the Mercy of Allah. He does not punish any one."

Hazrat Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) said, 
"There is no believer who does not possess two lights in his heart. One is the light of fear and the other, the light of hope. None of these is heavier than the other. Both are equal." 
(Al Kafi)

Action of Man Depicts Hope and Fear

It is related from Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) that he said, "A believer cannot have belief till both fear and hope are present in him. Nor can he be called as fearful and hopeful till he makes it evident in his actions." 
(Al Kafi)

Man's psyche should contain a perfect balance of fear and hope. It is related from Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.): 
"Hakim Luqman (r.a) advised his son in his will. 'If your deeds equal the good deeds of all men and Jinns, together, you must expect that you may yet be punished by Him. And you must hope in Allah so much that even if you carry the burden of the total sins of men and jinns, and approach Allah for forgiveness, He will pardon you.'
(Al Kafi)

A Lesson

Now I invite the readers to contemplate on this. Do we have true hope and real fear of Allah?

If we truly dread Allah's punishment then why are we not fearful of our sins?

Why is there a sluggishness in following the commands of the Masoomeen (a.s.)? If we truly regard ourselves to be desiring of Divine Mercy, why do we not strive for the goal? Why are our actions not directed towards absolute obedience and worship?

Yes, we do have genuine fear and hope with regard to the worldly affairs. This is evident in the excessive care, concern and caution we exercise to preserve our physical safety and material assets. Any sign of losing them, and we get restless till the danger is averted. If a worldly object is our goal we strive for it tirelessly and are not negligent for a moment.

By Allah! Let us look at the amount of efforts we put in our worldly affairsand honestly admit to ourselves whether we work even a fraction of it for the Hereafter. We most certainly do not. So let us resolve to divert some of our energies towards the fear and hope of the hereafter. If a sin has been committed, let us continuously feel remorse and weep for forgiveness, forgetting luxury and comforts, repenting till our last moment when we hear the good news.

"(As for) those who say: Our Lord is Allah, then continue in the right way, the angels descend upon them, saying: Fear not, nor be grieved, and receive good news of the Garden which you were promised." 
(Surah Ha Mim 41:30)

Let us realise that it is obligatory for the believers to remain in fear of Allah till the end of their lives.

Between Two Fears

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) said, 
"A believer is always between two fears. One is the fear of his past sins, (so) he does not know as to how Allah would deal with him. Secondly he fears until the end of his life and does not know the sins that might be committed by him, causing his destruction. The believer does not forgo his fear for his whole life, and his affairs do not improve without fear." 
(Al Kafi)

One Must Strive for the Hereafter

We must understand that Allah has guaranteed sustenance for us in this world. The Quran says, 
"And there is no animal in the earth but on Allah is the sustenance of it... " (Surah Hud 11:6)

However the success of the hereafter depends upon the efforts of man. As Allah says, 
"And that man shall have nothing but what he strives for; And that his striving shall soon be seen." 
(Surah Najm 53:39-40)

Claim Must Be Substantiated By Action

Amirul Momineen Ali (a.s.) says in Nahjul Balagha: 
"One who claims (verbally) and says that I am hopeful of the Mercy of Allah, is a liar. By Allah if his claim is genuine then why is his sincerity not reflected in his actions."

It is true that hope and fear are inner feelings, but they are manifested in one's actions. Hence, Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) says, 
"The Proof of fear is flight and the proof of hope is the effort to come near."

So, those who do not resort to flight from the sins prove that they do not have fear. Similarly, those who do not strive for the hereafter, make it evident that they do not have any hope in the bounties of Allah. Such people claim only verbally that Allah is Most Merciful. Actually, Satan has deceived them, and speaks through their tongue. Why is it that they do not just claim Allah to be generous for worldly benefits. Rather, they strive hard to procure these but are content to claim that Allah is Merciful for the Hereafter, and feel very secure in that thought without making any effort to strive for the Hereafter.

Fear Allah As If You Can See Him

Hazrat Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) has stated, 
"Allah has to be feared as if you see Him with your own eyes. Because even if you can't see Him, He is surely watching you. If you think that He is not watching you, you are a Kafir. However if you know that He is watching you and still commit sins, it means that you have regarded Him as an insignificant viewer." 
(Al Kafi)

If any mortal were to see us committing a sin we would feel ashamed and refrain from such a behaviour. But its a pity that we disregard the All-seeing Almighty and indulge in sins, unabashed.

The Perfect Example

One look at the life of Amirul Momineen Ali (a.s.) will make the best of us hang our heads in shame. We would emerge to be the most despicable and wretched creatures, when judged in the light of his excellence.

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says: 
"A stroke of Ali (a.s.) on the day of Khandaq (battle of Ahzaab) is superior to the total worship of men and jinns." 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

Ali (a.s.), inspite of his exalted position, is all humility when he addresses his Lord. Not an iota of significance does he attach to his outstanding achievements. They are all a Mercy from his Creator. In himself, he sees only shortcomings, faults and weaknesses for which he weeps and prays till he becomes unconscious. Abu Darda relates that I heard Ali (a.s.) reciting in a disconsolate voice: "O my Lord, there is no doubt that I have spent a good part of my life in Your disobedience.1 Still I do not hope for forgiveness from anyone but You. Nor do I intend to please anyone except You. O my real Master when I think of Your Mercy, the weight of my sins begins to feel light. But when I remember Your severity, the load of the difficulties crush me."

Abu Darda says, 'When there was a silence after this, I moved forward and saw that Ali (a.s.) had fallen unconscious. When I shook his arm, it seemed lifeless. I thought that my master Ali (a.s.) has passed away.'

Similarly Zorara says, 'Once I saw Ali (a.s.) in the last part of a dark night. He was holding his beard and pleading in a sorrowful voice: 'O! The provisions for the journey are less and the distance vast. The way is horrifying and the path dangerous.'

Ali (a.s.) says in Dua-e-Kumail: 
"O Allah the trials have increased and my condition has deteriorated and my good deeds are very few."

The Personality of Ali (a.s.) is a Model For Us

Like his fear, the hope of Ali (a.s.) is also prominent. Since his birth upto the last moments of his life he remained engrossed in worship and obedience. He did not forgo worship even for a single moment. Sometimes he used to pray a thousand rakats of prayers in a day. Throughout his life, he fasted the whole of the month of Shabaan. He never missed the midnight prayers. Even in the night of the battle of Siffin, which is known as the coldest of the nights he offered his midnight prayers. For three continuous days he broke his fast with water. He gave his share of bread to the poor, the needy and the orphans. He gave in charity the proceeds of the sale of the garden that he had planted with his own hands. A detailed chapter of Behaarul Anwaar deals with the endowments of Ali (a.s.) and his charity. A few examples are quoted below:

An Excerpt From the Will of Ali (a.s.)

The will of Ali (a.s.) is phrased in the following manner: 
"This writing is that in which we have willed regarding one's belongings. The slave of Allah, Ali hopes that Allah shall reward him for this by Heaven and shall protect him from the fire of the Hell on the day when the faces of some people would be white and the others black. Whatever property I own in 'Yambao' and its suburbs, I leave all of it as an endowment to achieve the happiness of Allah."

Inspite of excelling in good deeds and worship, while returning from a battle, he was seen exclaiming, 
"Certainly, the best deed of a man is to die a martyr. I fear I may not get a chance to achieve martyrdom."

At last the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) informed him: 
"O Ali! Your end shall be martyrdom."

We Shall Follow Ali (a.s.)

We may think that it is not possible for sinners like us to come up to the level of a lofty personality like Ali (a.s.) in terms of piety and spiritual realisation.

In reply to this we can say that, though it is not possible for us to reach that stage we can at least try to follow his commands as much as possible. For example, if a child sees a shining cobra, it is possible that he may try to catch it and risk being bitten to death?

Let us suppose the child is accompanied by his father. In such a situation the father who is aware of the poisonous qualities of the cobra will shout warnings and move forward to rescue the child.

O the heedless one! Is not Ali (a.s.) your spiritual father and the virtual guide? Are you not the claimant of his love and Wilayat. If your reply is positive then you must strive to follow and imitate your master as much as possible. The hardships and the punishments of the Day of Judgement make one shudder with horror and one cannot be complacent about the preparations of this last journey. If you are a true Shia of Ali (a.s.) then he is the best model for you. Ali (a.s.) has himself said, 
"You cannot imitate me entirely, but you can imitate (to some extent) and follow us."
"Our Shias are only those who follow us."

Warning of the Leader

The leader of the caravan issues warning regarding the dangers of the journey and advises his followers to make all the necessary provisions for the perils and the wild animals they would encounter. Every person will be responsible for himself. Saying this he himself busies himself in preparations. The fear of the impending journey makes him terror-stricken.

Seeing their leader in this condition the followers respond by feeling a similar concern for the journey and its preparations.

Let us not be complacent and heedless, and waste precious moments. Let us follow our Imam (a.s.) faithfully, so that we do not have to face remorse on the Day of Judgement.

The Chief of the Caravan is Terror-Stricken

O! the caravans of piety and belief. The leader of your caravan, Ali ibn Abi Talib (a.s.) is extremely afraid of the pitfalls of the last journey. He has issued clear warnings regarding the dangers. Every night he announced at the Masjid-e-Kufa, 
"Travellers! may Allah have Mercy upon you. Pack up the provisions for your journey and be prepared. Certainly you have in your path deep ravines and terrible dangers. There is no alternative but to traverse this path."

After this he used to say, 
"It is a pity! The provisions are meagre and the journey extremely long and the destination, great." 
(Nahjul Balagha)

It is truly deplorable that our involvement in worldly affairs has created a wide unsurmountable gap between us and our Imam (a.s.). We have been completely cut off from his virtuous life and perfect morals. May Allah protect us from departing His influence to follow the misguidance of Satan. Certain sins cause us to be deprived of the Wilayat of Allah and love of Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) and lead us to the wilayat of Satan. After this we come under the control of Satan who rules us totally. Let us take refuge with Allah from such a doom.

Insulting a Believer Expels One From Wilayat

Hazrat Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) said: 
"If a person slanders a believer to disclose his faults to the public, or to insult him, Allah expels him from His Wilayat and leaves him to the Wilayat of Satan." 
(Al Kafi)

"Like the Satan when he says to man: Disbelieve, but when he disbelieves, he says: I am surely clear of you; surely I fear Allah, the Lord of the worlds." 
(Surah Hashr 59:16)

Murder

The fifth Greater Sin is the murder of that person whose execution has not been ordered by Allah and the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.). Traditions which confirm that murder is a Greater Sin have already been mentioned at the beginning. Moreover the verses of the Holy Quran mention clearly the Divine punishment for the murderers.

"And whoever kills a believer intentionally, his punishment is Hell; he shall abide in it, and Allah will send His wrath on him and curse him and prepare for him a painful chastisement." 
(Surah Nisa 4:93)

The fifth Greater Sin is the murder of that person whose execution has not been ordered by Allah and the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.). Traditions which confirm that murder is a Greater Sin have already been mentioned at the beginning. Moreover the verses of the Holy Quran mention clearly the Divine punishment for the murderers.

Five types of punishments have been ordained for those who kill the believers. First, Hell; Second, Eternal abode in Hell; Third, involvement in the Divine wrath; Fourth, being the accursed by Allah; Fifth, the Great Chastisement.

Permanent Chastisement is Exclusively For unbelievers

One of the beliefs of the Shia Ithna Ashari school of thought is that eternal punishment is only for the Kuffar (Unbelievers). In other words, if a person dies in belief, he will not linger under punishment forever, even if he has killed a believer (or someone else whose killing has been prohibited according to the Divine command), or even though he has committed other greater sins. Hence the verse mentioned above has been explained in various ways. One possible explanation is that: one becomes eligible for eternal punishment only if he murders the believer because of his Imaan (belief). If such is the case, then, the killer is indeed liable for everlasting chastisement, for he considered the murder of a Momin as Halaal, whereas it is Haraam. To consider a murder of a believer Haraam is an article of faith. Consequently one who does not have this belief is a Kafir.

The Life and Property of a Muslim are Protected

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) announced on the occasion of the Farewell Pilgrimage (Hajjatul Wida): 
"O People! It is not permitted to kill the Muslims. Similarly to appropriate their property is not allowed. So do not be unjust upon yourselves and do not revert to disbelief after my death." 
(Wasaelush Shia)

Another explanation of the afore-mentioned hadith is that "abide in Hell" denotes being under punishment for a very long period. It does not mean that the sinner will be involved in eternal chastisement.

One Murder is Equal to the Killing the Whole of Humanity

"Whoever slays a soul, unless it be for a manslaughter or for mischief in the land, it is as though he slew all men; and whoever keeps it alive, it is as though he kept alive all men."
(Surah Maidah 5:32)

All the believers are sons of Adam (a.s.) and brothers to one another. One who kills another person perpetrates a great evil and instigates a feeling of malice, revenge and hatred among people.

Suicide is Murder

The Almighty Allah says: 
"....and do not kill ourselves; surely Allah is Merciful to you. And whoever does this aggressively and unjustly, We will soon cast him into Fire; and this is easy for Allah."
(Surah Nisa 4:29-30)

Allah prohibits the believers from suicide even in times of turmoil.

Enlivening the People

".....and whoever keeps it alive, it is as though he kept alive all men." 
(Surah Maidah 5:32)

If one saves the life of a "protected soul" whose killing has been prohibited by religion, be it forgiving, or not avenging, or protecting him, it is as if he has given life to the whole humanity. By saving one person he has; in a sense; saved humanity.

Murder is the worst sin in the eyes of Allah and severe punishment has been prescribed for a killer. The opposite of this, that is, saving the life of a person is accordingly regarded as the greatest form of worship.

A Murderer Does Not Die a Muslim

The following tradition is indicative of the fact that murder is a Greater Sin.

Regarding the killing of a believer, Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) says: 
At the time of his death the killer is told. 'Die as you wish, die as a Jew or a Christian or as a Magian.'
(Al Kafi)

Another tradition:
"A believer is free in the vast expanse of his belief till he colours his hands with the blood of a Momin."

Imam (a.s.) further says:
"One who kills a believer intentionally is deprived of the 'Tawfeeq' of repenting (for his sins)."
(Wasaelush Shia)

One Who Instigates a Murder is the Actual Killer

The third tradition, also from Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) says, 
"The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) was told that a Muslim has been killed and his corpse is lying on the street. When the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and his companions reached the site of the murder, he enquired as to who the killer was."

The people said, "We do not know." The Prophet was surprised, 
"A person has been killed among the Muslims, and no one knows of his killer?"

"By the Almighty who appointed me with Prophethood, If all the creatures of the heavens and the earth participate in the murder of a Muslim and be pleased upon that, then Allah would surely involve them in punishment and send them all to Hell."

The lesson derived from this hadith is that there is no difference between the killer and those who support or co-operate with him.

Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) has said, 
"On the day of Qiyamat a person would be presented before Allah. He will be having a streak of blood (like one gets a cut while shaving). He will say,

'By Allah, I have not killed anyone. Not have I co-operated with anyone's murder.' Allah will say, 'Yes, but one day you spoke about a believer and your words caused him to be killed. Hence you are responsible for his murder.'"

Hazrat Imam Reza (a.s.) said, 
"If someone is killed in the east and one who lives in the west is pleased upon this, then he is a partner in this murder." 
(Wasaelush Shia)

Abortion is Haraam

It is Haraam to abort an unborn child. Like in the case of a murder, diyah (prescribed fine) has to be paid here too. There is no difference between a foetus and a full-grown man. Even if the killers are its own parents. If a woman takes medicine that causes abortion, she would be liable for the punishment of a murderer.

The penalty (diyah) for killing a 'protected soul' (Nafse Mohtaram) is one thousand misqal of gold.

If the killers are the parents themselves they do not inherit any part of diyah but the other relatives who are eligible for the inheritance are qualified for it.

To Abort a Foetus Intentionally is Haraam

It is evident from the foregoing discussion that human life is considered sacred by the Islamic Shariat. Nothing has been given so much importance like the one reserved for the 'protected soul' (Nafs-e-Mohtaram). So much so that the beginning point of the human life, that is, the fertilised ovum is also not to be wasted. Once conception has taken place, no abortion is allowed. The 'diyah' (penalty) for abortion is as follows:
If the fertilised ovum is aborted the 'diyah' is sixty misqal.

If bones have formed it is eighty misqal.
If an incomplete child is aborted whose features have become distinct but the soul not entered the body, the penalty is one hundred misqal.

If soul had entered it and it was a male child, diyah is one thousand misqal, and if female, it is five hundred misqal.

If a pregnant woman dies, it is necessary to remove the unborn child by operation. Any carelessness in this regard is 'Haraam'.

If due to carelessness the child dies, diyah is wajib upon the one who was responsible for the lapse.

Repenting For Murder

By way of repentance, a person who has committed a willful murder should surrender himself to the heir of the murdered person. The successors of the murdered person have a choice of either avenging the death or accepting the 'diyah'. That is, they can forgive him or kill him in retribution.

If the murderer is forgiven, three things become obligatory on him:
1) Freeing a slave
2) Feeding sixty poor people
3) Keeping sixty fasts

If freeing a slave is not allowed by the law, the other two penalties should be fulfilled.

Accidental and Intended Murder

Even in the case of an accidental murder the heirs of the victim are to be paid the 'diyah'. But they should forgive the killer.

Apart from this the three penalties should be imposed, that is, freeing a slave, feeding sixty people and fasting for sixty days.

Similarly cutting off a part of someone's body is a Greater Sin. Those who intend to study this subject in detail are requested to refer to the books of Jurisprudence.

Those Who Are Disobedient to Their Parents

The sixth Greater Sin is to be disobedient to one's parents as expressly mentioned in the traditions from the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and the Pure Imams (a.s.). These have already been quoted in the first chapter. A tradition of the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says that the greatest sins are shirk and to be disobedient to one's parents. The seriousness of disobedience to parents as a Greater sin can be gauged from the fact that the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) has mentioned it along with shirk which is the greatest of all Greater sins, and unforgiveable. "Aaq" is a sin, the punishment of which is promised in the Quran and the traditions.

The words of Hazrat Isa (a.s.) as quoted by the Quran are:
"And dutiful to my mother, and He has not made me insolent, unblessed."
(Surah Mariyam 19:32)

As Isa (a.s.) did not have a father, his mother is alone mentioned. In the same Surah, both the father and mother of Hazrat Yahya (a.s.) are mentioned.

Both the verses mention three characteristics of the disobedient child (Aaq-e-Waledain).

1) 'Jabbar' (insolent)
2) 'Shaqee' (unblessed)
3) 'Aasi' (disobedient)

Each of these negative qualities render one liable for severe punishment. Regarding 'Jabbar' (insolent) the Quran says:
"And they asked for judgement and every defiant opposer was disappointed. Hell is before him and he shall be given to drink of festering water: He will drink it little by little and will not be able to swallow it agreeably, and death will come to him from every quarter, but he shall not die; and there shall be vehement chastisement before him."
(Surah Ibrahim 14:15-17)

The one who is Shaqee will be punished as follows:
"So as to those who are 'Shaqee', they shall be in fire; for them shall be sighing and groaning in it; Abiding therein so long as the heavens and the earth survive, except as your Lord pleases." 
(Surah Hud 11:106-107)

Those with the third characteristic, that is, those who are 'Aasi' will be dealt with severely by Allah.

"And whoever disobeys Allah and His Apostle and goes beyond His limits, He will cause him to enter fire, to abide in it, and he shall have an abasing chastisement."
(Surah Nisa 4:14)

Tradition Regarding Aaq-e-Waledain

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says:
"Beware! Abstain from angering the parents. The fragrance of Paradise is perceived even at a distance of a thousand years, but those who are disobedient to parents and those who cut off ties with relatives will not be able to smell it." 
(Wasaelush Shia).

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) also said. 
"One who displeases the parents, (it is as if) he has displeased Allah. One who angers both his parents (it is as if) he has angered Allah."

Elsewhere, it is mentioned, 
"One who hurts his parents, hurts me and one who hurts me has hurt Allah. And the one who hurts Allah is accursed." 
(Mustadrakul Wasael)

The Prophet (s.a.w.s.) has also stated:
"Allah will not speak to three kinds of people on the Day of Qiyamat. Neither will He have mercy upon them, nor will He purify their sins. There is for them a horrible chastisement. The three types of people are the believers in destiny, the drunkards and those who disobeyed their parents." 
(Al Kafi)

Aaq-e-Waledain is Not Eligible For Divine Forgiveness

The wretchedness of the Aaq-e-Waledain is sufficiently evident from the fact that the trustworthy Jibraeel (a.s.) has cursed him and said, 
"One who is blessed with parents but does not fulfill their (his parent's) rights will not be forgiven (his sins) by Allah."
(Behaarul Anwaar)

When Jibraeel (a.s.) said this, the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) uttered, 'Amen'! Hazrat Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) said, 
"Accursed, Accursed is the one who beats his parents. Accursed is the one who distresses his parents. 
(Mustadrak)

Prayer is Not Accepted

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) said, 
"Allah will not accept the Namaz of the person who stares angrily at his parents. Even though they (parents) may be unjust."

A Young man is interceeded by the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.)

A young man was on his deathbed when the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) came, sat near him, and told him to recite two kalimas (Shahadatain). But the youth could not speak. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) enquired if his mother was present? A woman sitting near his head said, "Yes, I am his mother."

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) asked, "Are your displeased with him?"

'Yes, O Prophet (s.a.w.s.), we have not spoken to each other since the last six years.'

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) asked this woman to forgive her son. Thus at the Prophet's instance she forgave his mistakes and was reconciled. At once the young man was able to recite the Kalima-e-Shahadat.

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) asked him, 
"What do you see, at this moment." " O Prophet of Allah a dark and smelly man has got hold of me and is not leaving me."

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) told him to recite the following dua, 
"Ya man Yaqbalul yaseera wa y'afo 'Anil Katheera Iqbal minnil Yaseera Wa 'Aafo 'Annil Katheera."

Then asked, "Now what do you see?" He replied, "A fair complexioned man, handsome and fragrant, is moving towards me."

The Holy Prophet said, "Keep repeating this dua." When the youth repeated this dua he said "O Prophet of Allah (s.a.w.s.) both of them have disappeared from my sight." After this the face of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) was illuminated with joy. He said, "O Allah forgive the sins of this young man." Then the youth passed away. 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

This tradition shows how difficult are the last moments of the Aaq-e-Waledain. He leaves this world in disbelief and remains, forever, in Divine punishment. The tutor of Kalima for this young man was the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.). In spite of this his tongue did not move till his mother forgive him. The blessings of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and the forgiveness of his mother brought salvation for this youth.

What is Aaq-e-Waledain?

Allama Majlisi (r.a.) writes in his commentary on Al Kafi:
Aaq-e-Waledain means that the son or the daughter cause disrespect to parents by speech or actions. Or they do not obey them in matters which are within reason and matters which are not in any way against religion.

Aaq-e-Waledain is absolutely Haraam. The books of traditions of both the Shias as well as the Sunnis validate this fact.

To look at the parents with anger is Aaq: To cause unhappiness to the parents results in Aaq. It is Haraam to take any step, which one is sure, will displease the parents.

Benevolence to Parents is Wajib

The verses of the Quran as well as the traditions of the infallible Imams (a.s.) not only prohibit displeasing and angering the parents, but also stress that benevolence towards them is Wajib.

A few examples of the Quranic Ayats are presented for the readers:
1) "And We have enjoined on man goodness to his parents." 
(Surah Ankaboot 29:8)
2) "Be grateful to Me and both your parents..."
(Surah Luqman 31:14)

The above verse is specially worth noting for the fact that Allah has mentioned together gratefulness towards Himself and to the parents. Certainly thankfulness to Allah is Wajib, and in the same way it is Wajib for the children to be thankful to their parents.

3) "And your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him, and goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) "Uff" nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word. And make yourself submissively gentle to them with compassion, and say: O my Lord! Have compassion on them, as they brought me up (when I was) little. 
(Surah Bani Israel 17:23-24)

In this Ayat Allah has mentioned goodness to parents. In the same sentence He exhorts about service to Him. As service to Allah is Wajib, benevolence to parent is Wajib too.

When the Imam (a.s.) was asked to explain the meaning of the term "Bil Waledaine Ehsana" (and goodness to your parents), he said, 
"Be good to your parents and if they are in need of something, procure it for them before they ask for it."

Then the meaning of the words, "Taqullahuma Qualan Kareema" (speak to them a generous word) was explained by the Imam (a.s.)

"If the parents beat you, say 'May Allah forgive you'. The phrase 'Wakhfiz Lahuma' (and make yourself submissively gentle to them) is elaborated by the Imam (a.s.):
"Do not look at them with distaste. Do not raise your voice above theirs. When you walk with them do not precede them. When you go to a gathering, do not sit before they do. Never keep your hand above theirs (while giving them something)."

Service to Parents is Better Than Jehad

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) narrates that a young man presented himself to the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and said that he wanted to participate in Jehad. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) told him:
"Certainly, go for Jehad in the way of Allah. If your are killed you will be alive near Allah and be provided sustenance from Him. The recompense for your sacrifice would be with Allah. If you return alive your sins would be washed off as if your were a newborn child."

This man said: "O Prophet of Allah, my parents are alive and they are aged and have great expectations from me. They do not like me to be away from them."

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said:
"If that is so, then stay behind to serve your parents. By Allah in whose hands is my life, to serve parents for a day and night is equal to a year of Jehad."

Another tradition from Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says:
"Acquire your place in Heaven by serving your parents. If you are guilty of 'Aaq' then make Hell your abode."

Goodness to Parents is the Expiation of Sins

Goodness towards the parents is the expiation of various sins. It is related in a report that a man came to the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and said, "O, Prophet of Allah (s.a.w.s.) there is not a single misdeed, that I have not committed. Is there repentance for me?" The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) told him, 
"Go and do goodness to your father in order that your sins may be expiated."

When the man left the assembly the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said,
"If his mother had been alive, it would have been more meritorious to do good to her."

Satisfaction of Parents is Satisfaction of Allah

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) has stated, 
"In the happiness of parents lies the happiness of Allah and in their dissatisfaction is Allah's dissatisfaction." 
(Behaarul Anwaar).

He (s.a.w.s.) further said, 
"A person who is good to his parents will be just a grade below the prophets in Heaven. And the Aaq-e-Waledain will be only a grade higher than the Firons in Hell." 
(Mustadrakul Wasael)

Angels Pray for Those Who do Good to Their Parents

Amirul Momineen Ali (a.s.) says, 
"Benevolence to parents is the greatest of the religious obligations."

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says that Allah has two Angels one of whom says, "O Allah! Protect those who do good to the parents." The other Angel prays, "O Allah! Destroy those people by retribution, with whom their parents are angry." Needless to say, the prayers of the Angels are always accepted by Allah.

The Material Effects of Aaq

The previous traditions mention the ill effects of 'Aaq-e-Waledain' in the hereafter. The following traditions describe the evil repercussions of Aaq-e-Waledain in this life.

The last of the Prophets (s.a.w.s.) says: 
"There are three kinds of sins which are punished in this world, rather than being given respite till Qiyamat. The first is Aaq-e-Waledain. The second, injustice upon men and third, thanklessness for favour."

Hazrat Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) stated, 
"Secret charity cools down Divine anger while goodness to parents and benevolence to relatives, prolongs life."
(Behaarul Anwaar).

Another tradition says, 
"Benevolence to parents and secret charity, ward off poverty, and both (these deeds) prolong life. Seventy types of death are kept away."
(Behaarul Anwaar)

"Those who assure me that they will be benevolent to parents and do good to the relatives, I will give them excess of wealth and a long life and assure them of being close among our group." 
(Mustadrakul Wasael)

Hazrat Imam Naqi (a.s.) said, 
"The displeasing of parents causes decrease in sustenance and degradation (also follows)."

Aaq-e-Waledain Cause Poverty and Misfortune

There was a young man from Madinah. His parents were very old. He never did any good towards them. He neglected them and did not expend any of his wealth for their well-being. After sometime he became a destitute and fell sick. Hiswretchedness and misery reached such excessive, that he became a pitiable character. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said, 
"Those who cause hurt to their parents should derive lessons from the life of this man. See how his wealth and property has been taken away. His affluence and independence has changed to poverty and his health has turned into disease. Whatever position he was to get in Heaven, he has been deprived of due to his sins; in its place the fire of Hell has been prepared for him." 
(Safinatul Bihar)

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) narrates:
"When Hazrat Yaqoob (a.s.) went to Egypt to meet his son Hazrat Yusuf (a.s.), he (Yusuf a.s.) did not alight from his horse to pay respect to his father. Hazrat Jibraeel (a.s.) descended, and told Hazrat Yusuf (a.s.) to open his fist. As he did so, a light shot out from his palm and rose towards the sky. Hazrat Yusuf (a.s.) enquired, "What was this light which came out of my hand and shot to the sky?." Jibraeel (a.s.) replied, "The light of Prophethood has departed from your loins. You did not pay due respect to your father hence none of your descendants will get Prophethood." It is true that Hazrat Yusuf (a.s.) did not descend from his horse to pay respect to his father. However, this was not due to any feelings of pride and vanity. The Prophets are sinless and could never harbour such emotions. His intentions were merely to maintain his dignity as a King among his subjects."

Evil Consequences of Aaq-e-Waledain

Aaq-e-Waledain brings disgrace in the Hereafter, and goodness to parents brings honour and glory. As Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) has said, 
"Those who wish an easy death should do good to the relatives and be kind to parents. When one does this, Allah will make easy the agony of death. In this world he will not face difficulties and poverty." 
(Safinatun Bihar)

Prayers of the Parents Are Accepted Soon

The supplication of parents for the welfare of the child are quickly answered by Allah and in the same way their ill wish (curse) due to displeasing them also takes quick effect. Numerous traditions have been recorded in this connection. One such tradition is connected with the merits of Dua-e-Mashlool. It is said that a young man had lost the use of his right hand which was paralysed due to the curse of his father. After his father's death, the man prayed the entire night, continuously for a period of three years in Masjidul Haram. One day Hadhrat Ali (a.s.) saw him and took pity upon him. He taught him Dua-e-Mashlool. By the virtue of this Dua the young man was cured.

The Mother Has More Rights Than the Father

Goodness towards the mother is more rewarding. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) emphasized that benevolence shown to the mother should be three times the magnitude of that shown towards the father. When he was asked as to which of the parents had more rights, he replied,
"Was it not your mother who suffered the birth pangs to give birth to you and provided you with your natural diet from her breasts? Indeed the rights of a mother far outweigh those of the father." 
(Mustadrakul Wasael)

Rights of the Parents

Someone asked the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) about the rights of the father. He (s.a.w.s.) replied, 
"He should be obeyed always, as long as he lives."

Then he was asked, "What is the right of the mother?". He answered, 
"If the service to a mother equals the quantity of the particles of sand in the desert and the drops of rain on earth, it (this service) will not repay for a single day that she kept you in her womb." 
(Mustadrakul Wasael)

A Young Man and His Invalid Mother

It is reported that a young man approached the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and asked, 
"O Prophet of Allah (s.a.w.s.), I have a mother who is an invalid. She cannot even move by herself. I carry her on my back and feed her with my hands. I also clean her excreta. Have I fulfilled her rights?"

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) replied, 
"No. Because you have remained in the womb for a long period during which you derived your nourishment from her body. She was every busy in caring and protecting you at all costs. Inspite of such hardships she always wished a long life for you. But you are waiting for her to die so that you may relieved of the responsibility of taking care of her."

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) described the eminence of a mother's position in the following statement:
1) "If you are praying a mustahab prayer and your father calls you, do not break your prayer but if your mother calls, break the prayer."

Truly, this assigns a remarkably high status to a mother. The Prophet (s.a.w.s.) states, 
"Paradise is at the feet of your mother."

Hence one need not go far in search of Paradise.

Be Good to Parents Even if They Are Kafirs

Whether the parents are believers and pious or Kafirs and sinful, goodness towards them is wajib. And 'Aaq-e-Waledain' is Haraam.

The verse of Surah Luqman says thus, 
"And if they contend with you that you should associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, do not obey them, and keep company with them in this world kindly...". 
(Surah Luqman 31:15)

Dua For Sunni Parents

Moammar Ibne Khallad asked Imam Reza (a.s.) whether one is allowed to pray for one's parents if they had not followed the truth and had not been Shia.

Imam Reza (a.s.) replied, 
"If they are dead, pray for them and give Sadaqah on their behalf. If they are alive keep them happy."

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says; 
"Allah the Most High has sent me as the Mercy for the worlds, except to the 'Aaq' (of parents)."

Jabir Ibne Abdullah (r.a.) reports that someone asked Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.), "My parents are against the truth, i.e. they are not the Shia of Ahlul Bayt (a.s.)". Imam replied: 
"Be good towards them like you would be towards out Shias." 
(Al Kafi)

Momin and Kafir Are Equal Under Three Circumstances

Hazrat Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) said; 
"Allah has not given superiority to a Momin in three circumstances.

First, to return what has been entrusted to you for safe keeping whether it belongs to a Momin or a Kafir.

Second, fulfilling an oath, whether given to a Momin or a Kafir. Third, doing good to the parents, whether they be Momin or Kafir." 
(Al Kafi)

A letter on various aspects of Islamic Shariat, written by Hazrat Imam Reza (a.s.) to Mamun, include the following:
"Benevolence to parents is wajib even if both of them are 'Mushrik'. However obedience to parents is not wajib if their order is against the orders of the Creator." 
(Oyun-e-Akhbare Reza)

Advice of Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.) to Zakaria Ibne Ibrahim

Zakaria, the son of Ibrahim, was a Christian. Later he converted to Islam and had the honour of meeting Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.). He told Imam (a.s.) "My mother is a Christian and she is old and blind." The Imam advised him, 
"Serve your mother and behave kindly towards her. Upon her death, do not leave her dead body to others. Perform her funeral rites yourself."

Thus this statement of the Imam (a.s.) is pregnant with two prophecies. Her death, and her conversion to Islam.

When Zakaria returned to Kufa he began to behave very kindly with his mother. He fed her with his own hands. Changed her clothes, washed and bathed her too. In short, he served his mother in every possible way. His mother asked, "My son you were not so dutiful when you were a Christian. Why is it that now you serve me day and night?"

Zakaria replied, "O my mother. I have a master who is the son of the Prophet of Allah (s.a.w.s.). He advised me to serve you in this way." The mother asked, "Is he a prophet?" "No. But he is a son of the Prophet (s.a.w.s.)." "Such a person must be a Prophet because only prophets teach such manners." The mother remarked.

Zakaria explained to his mother, "The chain of the Prophets came to an end with the Prophet of Islam (s.a.w.s.). He was the seal of the Prophets. The one who has guided me is the son of the Prophet (s.a.w.s.)." The mother said, "My son, the religion of Islam that you have embraced is better than all the religions. Teach me, so that I too may become a Muslim."

So, Zakaria made her recite the 'Kalima' and taught her the true beliefs. Later, this lady performed the Zohrain and the Maghrebain prayers. The same night death approached her. She told her son: "Dear son, repeat to me again whatever you have taught me." Zakaria began to recite while she listened carefully and in this way she passed away.

Displeasing the parents is Haraam and goodness towards them is Wajib, whether they are alive or dead. In other words parents have rights upon their children even after they (the parents) are dead.

If the son or the daughter forgets the parents after their death and does not perform good deeds on their behalf, it is 'Aaq-e-Waledain' irrespective of the fact that the child had fulfilled all his or her rights and served them till the time of their death.

Rights of Parents After Their Death

First: To carry out the Wajib acts which they did not perform during their life time, like Namaz, Roza, Hajj and repayment of debts.

Second: To Act on their will and testament.

Third: To perform various good deeds for their salvation, i.e., to give Sadaqah, to perform charitable acts, and to carry out recommended acts on their behalf. In short, one should strive to the utmost in doing good deeds on their behalf so that Allah may shower His blessing and mercy on them.

The Disobedient Children After the Death of Their Parents

It is narrated from Hazrat Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.):
"Certainly, if a person is good to his parents when they are alive but forsakes them after they die and does not repay their debts or pray for their forgiveness, Allah will record 'Aaq-e-Waledain' in the account of his deeds. On the other hand, if a person is 'Aaq-e-Waledain' when they are alive but after their death repays their debts and prays for their forgiveness and salvation, Allah will include him among the righteous people".

Single Action, Multiple Rewards

Hazrat Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) said, 
"What prevents you from serving your parents in their life and death? The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) remarks about the goodness to parents after death. "Perform their 'namaz' (if some wajib prayers have been omitted by them, the eldest son should perform them himself, or have them fulfilled by someone else on payment. However, if no wajib prayer is remaining upon them, then he could pray Nawafil Namaz for them or have them performed on payment.) Pay Sadaqah on their behalf. Complete their Qaza fasts and fulfill the obligation of their Hajj. Whatever you do, both of you will be rewarded (i.e.you and your parents).

Apart from this, goodness to parents carries double rewards. One for the action itself, and second for the benevolence towards the parents.

Praying (Dua) For the Parents and Seeking Forgiveness On Their Belief

It is narrated from the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) that a man approached him and asked whether his parents have any rights upon him after their death? The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) replied, 
"Yes, pray Namaz for them, seek forgiveness on their behalf, respect their tradition, and be good to their relatives." 
(Al Kafi)

When is Obedience to the Parents Wajib?

The orders and restraints of the parents are of no significance with respect to the wajib acts and the Divine prohibitions. For example if the parents order the child to drink wine or restrain him from the obligatory prayers and fasts, they should not be obeyed. It is expressly mentioned in this Verse of Surah Luqman: 
"And if they contend with you that you should associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, do not obey them..." 
(Surah Luqman 31:15)

The traditions also support this Ayat: 
"No Obedience of a creature in contravention to the Divine command." 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

Apart from these circumstances, obedience to parents is obligatory with regards to the Makruh and Mubah acts. The same applies to the Wajib-e-Kifai.

If by performing these actions, the parents are displeased or hurt, it is 'Haraam', a Greater Sin and causes one to be 'Aaq-e-Waledain'. Suppose the son wishes to proceed on a non-obligatory journey and the parents restrain him as they fear some harm for him, or because they cannot bear to be separated from him; and the son disobeys them and goes ahead with the journey, such a journey is Haraam. It is a journey of sin. Salaat and Fasting is not Qasr for this journey. In short, anything that causes displeasure and hurts the parents, is absolutely Haraam.

Obedience to parents is not obligatory in the following cases:
When it causes unbearable hardships or harm. For instance, if they restrain the son from marriage when he feels the need for it. Or they order the son to divorce his wife without a sound reason. If such an action will result in harm to both the spouses, it is not obligatory to obey the parents.

As far as I know, it is not obligatory to obey parents even in cases where they do not get angry or hurt if their commands are disobeyed.

As far as possible one should obey their orders and restrain from opposing them. Especially when the parents advise their children for their own benefit and without any selfish motive.

Disagreement among the Parents

If a situation arises when there is a disagreement between the parents on any subject, as far as possible, one should try to pacify and satisfy both of them. However, if it is not possible then the wish of the mother should be given precedence.

We have already seen the reasons why her rights far exceed those of the father. She is also more deserving of obedience because being a woman she is more sensitive in comparison to men. The mother is easily disturbed by the slightest hurt caused by her child. She becomes restless and uncontrollable due to her motherly feelings. In contrast, the father exercises reason and intelligence and being less emotional, is much less affected. He would realise that the son is obeying the mother because of the very special status granted to her by Allah and not because he intends to disobey his father due to disregard for him.

Permission of the Parents is Necessary

The Islamic Shariat has prescribed certain matters wherein it is necessary to obtain the permission of both the parents. Or at least of one of them. For example, the Wajib-e-Kifai acts like Jehad, or the Mustahab acts like the recommended fasts, or matters like taking an oath, vow and promises. In all such cases it is Wajib to obtain the parents' permission. The First Martyr1 had mentioned ten topics on the rights of parents in his book "Qawaid". It will be appropriate to mention them.

Journey of the Child and the Martyr's viewpoint

1) Mubah and Mustahab journey without the permission of parents is Haraam. However a business journey and the journey undertaken for acquiring knowledge is allowed according to some Mujtahids.

2) Some Jurists are of the opinion that, obedience to parents is Wajib upon the child in every condition where there exists a doubt. Hence if the parents order their son or daughter to eat with them, and if there is doubt regarding the food, it is incumbent to obey the parents. Because, obedience to parents is Wajib while avoiding food in case of doubt, is Mustahab.

3) If it is time for prayers and the parents would like to get some work done, it is necessary to carry out the orders before offering Namaz. Here again the offering of Namaz at the earliest is Mustahab whereas the obedience to parents is Wajib.

Refraining From Namaz-e-Jamat

1) Parents cannot prevent their child from performing Namaz in congregation unless it causes some problem to them. For example, the absence of the son, while he goes for Fajr or Isha prayers, may cause them anxiety regarding their own securityor the safety of their property. Or, it may make them apprehensive about the son's safety.

2) If it is not absolutely obligatory (Wajib-e-Aini) the parents can stop their son from going on Jehad.

3) Regarding the commands, which are Wajib-e-Kifai, the parents can prevent their son or daughter only if there is a certainty or a chance of the Wajib being fulfilled by other people.

4) Some jurists are of the opinion that if one is praying a recommended prayer, he can interrupt it if his parents call him.

5) One must forgo recommended fasts if the father disallows them.

6) In the matter regarding vows and promises, if the parents are against it, then one must not disobey them.

7) It is the duty of the son to ensure that he causes no harm to his parents. And if someone else intends to harm them, the son must do everything in his capacity to ward off the harm.

Respect For Parents

As it is Wajib to fulfill the rights of the parents, it is also necessary to give them due respect and honour. Numerous traditions have been recorded from the Ahlul-bayt (a.s.)

1) One must not address the parents by their names. However, they can be addressed by their title or kunniyat.

2) One must not precede them while walking, nor should one sit down before them.

3) While having meals one should not begin before the parents. Hazrat Imam Zainul Abedeen (a.s.) did not have meals with his mother for the fear that he may pick a morsel which she intended to.

4) One must never sit with one's back to our parents in a gathering.

5) While speaking, one's voice should not rise above the voice of one's parents.

6) One should not do anything that would cause the parents to become a butt of criticism. We must not insult the parents of others, or they would insult our parents in retaliation.

7) Hazrat Sajjad (a.s.) saw a young man walking on the street with the support of his father's hand. He was much displeased and did not even speak to the boy again. 
(Al Kafi)

It is the unanimous opinion of the jurists that 'Ahsan' of parents means refraining from everything that displeases them.

The following actions are considered disrespectful:
1) Not providing them with the necessities, thus compelling them to beg for them.

2) Not inviting them to a function where others have been invited.

3) Not getting presents for them from a site where one had been to, on a journey.

All the above acts are Haraam. In addition, the jurists also consider the following actions Haraam: -
1) To turn away from the parents with disdain.
2) To sit with one's back towards the parents.
3) To speak in a voice louder than the parents.
4) Walking ahead of the parents.

If any of them do not cause disrespect or displeasure, they are allowed. However, to refrain from them is 'mustahab'.

Rights of the Children Upon Their Parents

Just as it is Wajib for the children to respect, honour and fulfill the rights of their parents, it is incumbent upon the mother and the father to fulfill the rights, which the children have upon them. If the parents do not fulfill these rights, it would amount to Qate Rahmi (cutting off the relationships). Since children are the closest to parents it is a must to refrain from Qate Rahmi with them, and Qate Rahmi is a great sin, as would be described later.

Just as the children become 'Aaq-e-Waledain' by not complying with their duties, the parents also become 'Aaq' if they fail to perform their duties towards their children. Further, the parents should not impose unbearable commands upon the children such that the children are forced to find excuses for not obeying them and thus become 'Aaq'.

The parents should not ridicule their children for their actions. Rather the children must be corrected by constructive criticism. Ridicule makes the children stubborn and creates enmity between them and the parents. When the parents fail to fulfill the rights of the children, it induces the children to forsake the rights of the parents in retaliation. As a consequence, both the parents and the children are involved in a Greater Sin.

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said: 
"The parents are liable to be 'Aaq' in the same way as the children who do not fulfill the rights of the parents become involved in the sin of 'Uqooq' (plural of Aaq)."

It is therefore a solemn duty of the parents to behave kindly with their children and give them a good training and education. They should keep them under gentle control and must not do anything that would cause them to be 'Aaq'.

For example, the parents should overlook the minor faults of the children. They should appreciate insignificant favours and show happiness and gratitude for these favours which would encourage the child to further good actions. They should make the children aware that they wish them the best and pray for their happiness in the world and the Hereafter.

We will now put forward the rights of children upon their parents, as enunciated by educated jurists and propounded in the books of Islamic Law.

Maintenance of Children

It is Wajib upon the parents to bear the expenses of the children right from the time of their birth till they become independent, and in case of a daughter, till she gets married.

Arranging the Marriage

One of the most important duties of the father is to arrange for the marriage of the son when he attains maturity. In case of the daughter too the father must strive to find a good match for her. The parents cannot restrain their daughter from matrimony. The Holy Quran states clearly: 
"...then do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree among themselves in a lawful manner." 
(Surah Baqarah 2:232)

Religious Education and Training

Another important duty for the parents is to give a good education to their children. The parents must strive to instruct the children with regard to the fundamentals of Islamic faith. The seriousness and significance of observing the laws of Shariat should be inculcated in the children, and no leniency must be shown if the religious laws are not strictly followed. However, the aspect of Amr bil Maroof and Nahy Anil Munkar must be kept in mind. The details regarding the same shall be explained in the chapter of Amr bil Maroof (enjoining good) and Nahy Anil Munkar (forbidding evil).

Various traditions stress upon the duty of the parents to shower their love and affection upon the children. A few of these are quoted below.

Love and Affection For the Children

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said: 
"Be affectionate to your children and have mercy upon them. When you promise them something, fulfill your promise because the children repose hope only in the parents. When a promise is not fulfilled, it causes dissatisfaction and strains relationships. Certainly Allah is most wrathful when the women and children are disheartened."

Kissing the Children

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) has told that when a person kisses his child, a good deed is recorded in his Nama-e-Aamal (Scroll of deeds).

Daughters Are More Deserving of Kindness

The parents have been ordered to be more kind towards the daughters. It is mustahab that when a father brings something for the children he must first offer it to the daughter; especially the one who is named Fatima.

If the children oppose the parents, they must never be abused or reviled. The curses of the parents cause an increase in the misery of the children.

Spiritual Fathers Are More Qualified For Kindness

Whatever has been mentioned till now concerns the biological parents; however the spiritual fathers or the guides of humanity are Hazrat Muhammad (s.a.w.s.) and his Purified Ahlul Bayt (a.s.). All of us are spiritually related to them. In every circumstance their followers can be enriched by virtues and get protection from calamities. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) has informed, "I and Ali (both) are the fathers of this Ummat." The spiritual fathers are superior to the biological parents in a manner that the soul is superior to the physical body. Similarly the punishment of the 'Aaq' of the spiritual fathers is much more severe than that of the 'Aaq' of ordinary parents.

High Rewards and More Punishment

The rewards for kindness to the spiritual father is a thousand times more than kindness to the real parents. In the same way the 'Aaq' of a spiritual father is far more severely punishable, i.e., Heaven is prohibited for the person who disobeys the spiritual father, and none of his deeds are accepted even if he prays in the nights and fasts during the day. The punishment for those who do not acknowledge the Wilayat of Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) is more severe because the Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) are the real spiritual fathers. It would be wrong to consider all the Quranic verses and traditions in connection with Uqooq-e-Waledain to be restricted to biological parents. The Holy Quran and hadith are unanimous in declaring that the commands for Uqooq-e-Waledain apply equally and more stringently to the spiritual as well as biological parents. The ultimate argument in this connection is the Quranic verse wherein Allah has ordered obedience towards the parents along with His own worship.

"Be grateful to Me and both your parents." 
(Surah Luqman 31:14)

"And your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him, and goodness to your parents." 
(Surah Bani Israel 17:23)

A similar reference to the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and the Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) is to be found in the chapter of Sileh Rahem. Two traditions are reported from Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.)

The first tradition is when Umroo bin Yazid enquired about the meaning of the following Ayat of Surah Raad: 
"And those who join that which Allah has bidden to be joined and have awe of their Lord and fear the evil reckoning." 
(Surah Raad 13:21)

The next tradition is concerned with the tafsir of the same 'Ayat'. It says that the above Ayat has been revealed about the Sileh Rahem to Muhammad (s.a.w.s.) and the Ahlul Bayt (a.s.), the close relatives of the Momin being included in it. The tradition further says, 
"And do not be of those who restrict the Ayat to some particular personalities. But whenever you hear of a verse regarding a kind of people you must consider it to be applicable to the other people of the same kind."

The Uqooq of Spiritual Fathers

The Uqooq of the spiritual fathers means to disobey their commands and to be heedless of their orders. To sever relationships with them in this world by not acknowledging their leadership. Imam Reza (a.s.) asked, 
"Won't you feel bad if your parents are displeased and say that you are not their child?"

Those who were present answered, "Yes". Imam (a.s.) continued, 
"The spiritual parents are superior to your biological parents. Do not give them an opportunity to say this. Rather consider yourself lucky be to their son or daughter."

Breaking up relations

The seventh Greater Sin is the breaking up of relations with one's kith and kin. This is clearly verified by Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) as well as Imam Musa al-Kazim (a.s.), Imam Ali ar-Reza (a.s.) and Imam Muhammad al-Taqi (a.s.). The Quran has also decreed Hell-fire and the curse of Allah upon those who cut off ties with their relatives.

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) says:
"Beware of those who cut off relations because I have found them cursed thrice in the Quran."

1) Surah Baqarah, Ayat No.27
Whoever break the covenant of Allah after its confirmation and cut asunder what Allah has ordered to be joined, and make mischief in the land, these it is that are the losers.

In the Quranic terminology when the word Khaasir (loser) is used it denotes the one who is to be in loss, or rather the one who is cursed.

2) Surah Raad, Ayat No.25
And those who break the covenant of Allah after its confirmation and cut asunder which Allah has ordered to be joined and make mischief in the land; (as for) those, upon them shall be curse and they shall have the evil (issue) of the abode.

3) Surah Muhammad, Ayat No.22-23
But if you held command, you were sure to make mischief in the land and cut off the ties of kinship. Those it is whom Allah has cursed, so He has made them deaf and blinded their eyes.

The Denouncement of "Cutting Off Kinship Ties" in the Traditions

Numerous traditions have reached us in this regard. A few of these reports are quoted here:
The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) states:
There is destruction in enmity, especially with the relatives. I do not mean the destruction of the law but rather the destruction of the religion. (Enmity among people not only harms the hair and the body, but it also destroys one's religion).
(Al Kafi, Chapter of Qate-Rahem)

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) says:
"Protect yourself from 'Haliqa' for it destroys the people." The narrator asked "What is 'Haliqa'", Imam replied, "To sever relations."

The Worst Deed in the Eyes of Allah

A man approached the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and enquired, "What is the worst deed in the eyes of Allah?"

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) replied,
"To attribute partners to Allah."
The man then asked, "After this which is the worst sin?"

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said:
"To sever relations".

After this the same person asked, "After this which is the worst sin?"

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) replied:
"To enjoin the evil and to forbid the good (deeds)." 
(Al Kafi)

Goodness in Return of Ill-Treatment

A man complained to Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) about his relatives. Imam (a.s.) said, 
"Swallow your anger and behave nicely with your relatives."

The man said, "My relatives give me all sorts of troubles and there is hardly any cruelty they have not committed upon me." The Imam (a.s.) told him, 
"Do you also want to cut off relation with them? If you also become like them, then Allah will never have mercy for you."

Allama Majlisi (r.a.) says, "If one behaves kindly to the relatives who are bad, they would at one time or the other regret their behaviour. Then the Mercy of Allah will be upon both of them. If the ill-behaved relatives do not rectify their ways then at least the Mercy of Allah will be upon the one who continues kindness to them (the relatives).

It is very clear to us that we must not sever relations even with those relatives who are unkind to us and who want to cut off the relationships.

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says:
"Do not sever relation with your kindered even if they cut off relations with you." 
(Al Kafi)

Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) states:
"There are three sins whose punishment has to be borne in this world itself:-
The first is injustice, the second is breaking of relationships and the third is false oath." 
(Al Kafi)

Life is Shortened

Hazrat Ali (a.s.) says in one of his sermons: -
"I seek refuge from the sins which cause the hastening of death."

Someone asked him, "Maula, Is there any sin by which the death is hastened?" He replied, 
"Yes, the breaking up of the family ties."

Families who live with co-operation and care for each other are given increase in sustenance by Allah and those who remain divided and are aloof from each other, Allah removes the bounty from their sustenance and their lifespan shortens even if they are all pious (in other respects).

Death Due to Qat-e-Rahmi

A companion of Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) complained about the ill-treatment given to him by his relatives, 
"My own brother as well as my paternal cousins are harassing me. They have snatched the house that rightfully belonged to me and have given me only a room to live in. If I complain to the government, I shall be able to recover all my property.

Imam (a.s.) said, 
"Be patient, everything will be alright."

The man returned satisfied. In the year 131 A.H. there was a terrible plague. All the relatives of the man perished. Thereafter when he arrived before Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.), he (Imam a.s.) asked, 
"How are your relatives?"

The man said, "By Allah all of them are dead." The Imam (a.s.) said, 
"Their deaths have been due to their ill-treatment and Qat-e-Rahmi of relatives like you, not recognizing your right and cutting off relationships."

Bereft of Divine Mercy

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) relates from the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) that he said:
"When people claim to possess knowledge but do not act upon it, when they claim to profess love but harbour malice in their hearts and sever relations, in such a condition Allah removes mercy from them and makes them undiscerning to logic. 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says: 
"Among the various sins, injustice and cutting off relationships are such that one who commits these is punished in this world itself. Apart from this the punishment for these sinners has already been prepared in the Hereafter." 
(Mustadrak)

At another occasion the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) has informed:
"One who severs relationships will not enter Heaven."

Jabir Ibne Abdullah Ansari (r.a.) has related from Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) that he quotes the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) as follows:
"Jibraeel (a.s.) has informed me that even at a distance of a thousand years man will be able to smell the fragrance of Heaven , but one who disobeys his parents, the one who breaks ties with the kith and kin, or the aged adulterer will not be able to smell it. In fact, the fragrance of Paradise will be felt even at a distance of two thousand years, but not by those who disobey their parents and those who break ties with the relatives."

The exalted Prophet of Islam (s.a.w.s.) has also informed that the invocation of the person who breaks family ties shall not be answered. "In the chapter on the merits of Shab-e-Qadr the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) has stated that in the night of Qadr Allah forgives the sins of all the people except of those who drink wine, who disobey their parents, and those who break ties with the relatives or harbour enmity towards the believers."

Kindness to Relatives is Obligatory

The Almighty Allah says in the Quran:
"...and be cautious of (your duty to) Allah, by Whom you demand one of another (your rights), and (to) the ties of relationship;" 
(Surah Nisa 4:1)

According to Imam al-Baqir (a.s.), the notable point in this verse is that the fear of Allah is mentioned alongwith the fear one should have about breaking relations with kith and kin.

In the book Al Kafi there is a tradition from Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.). He says: 
"The relatives in this Ayat, include all, and not only the nearest ones. Certainly Allah has ordered kindness towards all the relatives. Allah has given so much importance to this deed that he mentions it with his exalted name."

Kindness to Relatives is Commanded in the Same Way as Namaz and Zakat

It is related from Imam Ali-ar-Reza (a.s.):
"Allah has ordered three things along with three others, in the glorious Quran:
1) Namaz is ordered along with Zakat. If one offers Namaz but does not pay Zakat (when it is due upon him) then his Namaz will not be accepted.

2) Allah has ordered thankfulness to Himself along with the thankfulness to one's parents. If one is not grateful to one's parents it is as if he has not been grateful to Allah.

3) Allah has ordered piety along with kindness to ones kith and kin. Then one who is not kind towards the relatives is not pious."

Rights of the Relatives and the Ease in Reckoning

The Creator of the Universe, Almighty Allah remarks in the Holy Quran:
"Certainly Allah orders equity, kindness (to people) and the giving (of what they need) to the relatives." 
(Surah Nahl 16:90)

In Surah Raad is the following verse:
"And those who join that which Allah has bidden to be joined and have awe of their Lord and fear the evil reckoning." 
(Surah Raad 13:21)

The expression 'reckoning' in this Ayat denotes the accounting of one's deeds with regard to his duty of kindness towards relatives. This Ayat shows that kindness towards the kith and kin shall be an important factor to ease the difficulty of the accounting for one's deeds.

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) explains as follows:
"Kindness to relatives makes the reckoning (of the Hereafter) easy." 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

The Inimical Relative of Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.)

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) made a will in his last moments: 
"Pay seventy Dinars to my paternal cousin Hasan Aftas."

He was asked, "Master you are making a gift to someone who has attacked you with a sword?"

Imam (a.s.) replied, 
"Do you think I should not be included among those concerning whom the Quran says: 
'And those who join that which Allah has bidden to be joined and have awe of their Lord and fear the evil reckoning…" 
(Surah Raad: 13:21)

Allah has created Paradise, purified it and made it fragrant. Its fragrance is felt at a distance of two thousand years (of travel). But the one who disobeys his parents or breaks ties with the kin will be so far away from Paradise, that he will not even experience its fragrance. 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

Traditions Regarding Kindness to Relatives

There are numerous traditions to the fact that Sileh Rahmi is obligatory. In one of such traditions Imam Baqir (a.s.) relates from the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) that he said:
"I will (command) all the people of my Ummat, whether present or not, and those generations which are to come till the Qiyamat, who are still in the loins of their father and wombs of their mothers, that they should be kind to their relatives (and visit them) even if they live at a distance of a year's journey. Because kindness to relatives is one of the commands which is made an integral part of the faith (Imaan)."

One Who is Kind to the Relatives Will be Able to Cross the Bridge of Siraat Smoothly

Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) relates from Hazrat Abu Zar Ghaffari (r.a.) who quotes the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) to have remarked:
'Siraat (the bridge passing over Hell that everyone has to cross) will have on each side (of it) 'Sileh Rahmi' and 'Amanat' (keeping a trust) one who performs the act of Sileh Rahmi and maintains trusts (Amanat) shall be able to cross the 'Siraat' easily and will reach Paradise.

None of the good deeds will benefit those who have broken ties with relatives or committed breach of trust. They will slip from the bridge of 'Siraat' and drop into Hell-fire. 
(Al Kafi)

The Worldly Benefits of Kindness to Relatives

Numerous reports (Rawayaat) testify that Sileh Rahmi (kindness to one's relatives) also has worldly benefits. Like, increase in the life-span, postponement of death, increase in the number of descendants etc., Hazrat Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) related three traditions from the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) in the court of Mansur Dawaniqi (l.a.).

1) "A man who has only three years of life remaining, performs an act of kindness to his relatives and Allah increases his life by thirty years. In the same way a man has thirty years of life but due to his breaking off the ties of relationship, his (remaining) life is decreased to three years. Then the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said: Whatever Allah wills He erases and whatever He wills He writes.

It means that if Allah wills He can alter (certain destinies) due to one's actions and deeds."
(Behaarul Anwaar)

2) "Fulfilling the rights of kith and kin increases the life-span even if the relative is a sinner." 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

3) Sileh Rahmi (kindness to relatives) is a cause for the easy accounting of one's deeds on the day of Qiyamat and it (Sileh Rahmi) protects one from sudden death."

Hazrat Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) has told Maysar:
(O' Maysar) the time of your death has arrived many times but Allah has postponed (your death) due to your kindness to the relatives and good behaviour towards them.

'Sileh Rahmi' Prolongs Life

It is reported from Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) that he said to Maysar,
"O Maysar, truly your lifespan has increased, what good actions have you been performing?"

Maysar replied, "In my youth I used to earn from my labours an amount of five Dinars a day and I used to give these to my maternal uncle."

Yaqoob Magribi was once in the presence of Imam Musa al-Kazim (a.s.). Imam (a.s.) said, 
"You and your brother had an argument over the ownership of a house. So much so that you abused each other and broke up the ties of relationsip. Such a thing is not from my religion, neither is it from the religion of my ancestors. Then fear Allah , the One Who is without any partner. Fear the Divine Punishment. Due to this sin, death shall soon separate you (two). Your brother will die in this journey and you shall regret you actions."

The man asked,"May my life be sacrificed upon you, when will I die?"

Imam (a.s.) replied, 
"Your death had also arrived but you did an act of kindness to your father's sister (your aunt) and thus your lifespan increased by twenty years (or months)."

As Imam (a.s.) has predicted, Yaqoob's brother died before he could reach home and was buried on the way. 
(Safinatul Behaar)

The Benefits of Sileh Rahmi in the Hereafter

The practice of Sileh Rahmi (kindness to kith and kin) accrues worldly advantages, spiritual benefits and bounties of the Hereafter.

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq says:
"Sileh Rahmi perfects the morals and encourages charity. When one performs Sileh Rahmi he has to be benevolent towards his relatives. The continuous practice of Sileh Rahmi brings refinement in his morals. In the same way repeated acts of kindness inculcate a benign and compassionate feeling in the person, and the soul is purified (from the sin of jealousy and enmity). 
(Safinatun Behaar)

Sileh Rahmi Causes All the Good Deeds to be Accepted

Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) states:
Sileh Rahmi (kindness to relatives) purifies deeds. Purification of deeds means, that the shortcomings in all the good deeds of a person practicing Sileh Rahmi are naturally compensated and all his good deeds are accepted by Allah.

It increases wealth, wards off difficulties and calamities. The accounting of your actions on the day of Qiyamat is made easy. Even the ordained time of death is postponed.

Extending Hand of Friendship Towards Those Who Want to Break the Ties (Qat-e-Rahem)

Imam Sajjad (a.s.) says:
There are two actions, towards which, a step taken is liked by Allah more than anything else. One is the step taken to join a row formed in the name of Allah (for Jehad or Namaz); the second is the one taken to extend a hand of friendship towards kith and kin who want to break relations. 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said:
"Certainly there is a section in Paradise which can not be attained except by three kinds of people. First the just Imam, second, the one who does Sileh Rahmi, and third the one who has family (and children) but remains patient (in poverty and difficulties). 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

The Reward of Sileh Rahmi

The reward for Sileh Rahmi has been described by the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) in one of his traditions. He says:
"When a person goes towards his relatives so that he can fulfill his rights with his life and his wealth, Allah bestows upon him the reward of a martyr at every step he takes. He (Allah) writes down forty thousand Hasana (the unit of Divine rewards) and He erases forty thousand of his sins and He elevates him by forty thousand grades. The person achieves the position of one who has worshipped Allah for a hundred years."
(Behaarul Anwaar)

At another place the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says, regarding the rewards for Sileh Rahmi:
"The reward for Sadaqah in the way of Allah is ten times, whereas the reward for giving a loan is twelve times (because in giving a loan the dignity of the Loanee is maintained). The reward for the good behaviour to the believing brothers is twelve times and the reward for Sileh Rahmi is twenty four times." 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

The Meaning of Sileh Rahmi and Qat-e-Rahmi

The Shariat of Islam has not provided any fixed definition for these two terms. In this case the meaning as judged by common sense and reason must be accepted. We must consider all the relatives from the father's side and mother's side, irrespective of whether they are close or distant, to be our kith and kin who have a right on us. In the same way the children of the daughters and their descendant also come in this category as the Quran says: 
'Those who join together (do Sileh Rahmi) those things which Allah has commanded to be joined."
(Surah Raad 13:21)

Urwah Ibne-Yazeed asked Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) the meaning of this Ayat (Surah Raad 13:21), the Imam (a.s.) replied;
"You have been commanded to do Sileh Rahmi towards all your relatives. Whether they are Mehram (in the prohibited category of marriage) or Namehram, (not in the prohibited category) whether they are distant relatives or closely related, whether they are immediate relatives or separated by several generations." 
(Al Kafi)

No Discrimination Between the Affluent and the Poor Relatives

It is generally observed that people tend to behave graciously towards their wealthy relatives and avoid the poor ones. The faith of Islam does not differentiate or discriminate between the rich and the poor relatives. What is important is the closeness of relationship. The more closely a person is related to you, the more important and necessary it is to fulfill his rights.

What is Sileh Rahmi?

Any behaviour which is generally regarded by people as good, kind, gracious or obligatory, when directed towards your relatives is Sileh Rahmi.

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) says:
"The kindness towards relative and goodness towards the believing brother makes easy your reckoning on the Day of Judgement and protects you from sins. So you should be kind to your relatives and be good to your believing brothers even if it is as little as a sincere 'salaam' (salutation) or a hearty reply to a salaam." 
(Al Kafi)

At another place the Sixth Imam (a.s.) remarks:
"Do Sileh Rahmi towards your relatives and the near ones even if it is just by offering a glass of water to them." 
(Wasaelush Shia)

The Different Grades of Sileh Rahmi

Shaheed-e-Thani1 (r.a.) describes the grades of Sileh Rahmi in the following words:
It is deduced from the traditions that the highest stage of Sileh Rahmi is to consider the relatives as our own selves. That is, we should wish for our relations whatever we wish for ourselves.

The next stage of Sileh Rahmi is to help relatives overcome the difficulties and hardships they may be facing. Next, we must earnestly try to benefit our kith and kin as much as possible, in areas where they need help and of course in a manner permitted by religion. This benefit can be either economic or by way of making a person independent, by securing for him a job or initiating him into a trade. It can also be in the form of a sound advice, spiritual guidance and religious teachings.

The fourth stage of Sileh Rahmi is towards those people who are dependents of our relatives. For example, the brother's wife or the step-mother.

The simplest kind of Sileh Rahmi consists of salutations, a lesser kind is the conveying of Salaam (through someone). The smallest kind of Sileh Rahmi is to pray for relatives in their presence and to encourage them.

The Difference Between Breaking Relations With Nearest Kin and With Distant Relatives

Qat-e-Rahmi and Sileh Rahmi with respect to the close kith and kin could be different from that with the distant relatives. It is possible that a certain action or attitude towards close relative would amount to Qat-e-Rahmi but the same towards a distant relative may not be regarded as such. Also a certain behaviour with a knowledgeable and a pious relative may be termed as Qat-e-Rahmi but with respect to other relatives it may not be so. It is best to refrain from every act that could possibly amount to Qat-e-Rahmi. We must observe keen precaution in this matter lest we bring upon ourselves the severe punishment of a Greater Sin.

Arrogance Towards Poor Relatives is Qat-e-Rahmi

The ones most guilty of Qat-e-Rahmi are the rich and affluent who do not acknowledge their connections with their poor relatives and deal with them with pride and arrogance, while they are gallant and kind to their wealthy relatives. To neglect one's duty and give importance to material possessions, contradicts the laws of Islam both in the letter and spirit.

What is the Least Amount of Sileh Rahmi That is Wajib

Every kind of Sileh Rahmi, the failure of which is viewed as a sort of Qat-e-Rahmi, is obligatory for us. For example, if a person is unable to fulfill his needs due to poverty or is unable to get medical aid for any reason, or is in debt; and heapproaches a rich relative for help; it is obligatory on the rich person to help him. Even if the rich person is not approached directly but comes to know the predicament of his poor relative, it is obligatory on him to help this less fortunate relative. The wealthy man who fails to carry out these obligations will be guilty of Qat-e-Rahmi.

It is however not obligatory for a person to help his poor relative if he himself is not in a sound position to do so and fears that his finances will be constrained or that he himself may become a destitute. Also, Sileh Rahmi is not obligatory, if by doing so he will violate the laws of Islam. For example one need not pay a visit to a relative, if by doing so one would be in the midst of Na-mehram or may be compelled to hear music.

Sometimes we may be in doubt whether a particular action could be considered as Sileh Rahmi or Qat-e-Rahmi. In this case the reference point is to see how the people in general view it. The criteria for deciding that a particular behaviour is Sileh Rahmi or Qat-e-Rahmi therefore depends on the general feeling for it. If a small lapse like not saluting or non-compliance with a small request is Qat-e-Rahmi according to those around us, then it is so. By the same token if observing small niceties are considered as Sileh Rahmi, then it is so.

Sileh Rahmi With Certain Relatives is Mustahab if Not Wajib

At times some obligations towards distant relatives are not considered Sileh Rahmi and accordingly are not Wajib (obligatory) for us. But these obligations are bound to be Mustahab. In any event, it is best to conduct ourselves in a manner that we totally eliminate the risk of committing a Greater Sin.

Breaking Ties Even With Those Who Wish to Break Up Ties With us is Haraam

Although one would not be at fault from a worldly point of view, according to Shariat, breaking ties even with those who want to do so is Haraam.

It is natural for a person who, finding that his relative does not acknowledge him nor fulfills his rights, reacts by remaining aloof and allowing the bonds of kinship to be broken.

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says: 
"Do not break ties with your relatives even if they break them with you."

The Order of Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) Regarding Qat-e-Rahmi

Abdullah Ibne Sinan says that I pleaded to Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.), "I have a cousin, I do Sileh Rahmi (kindness) towards him and do not wish to break ties with him. But he wants to break ties with me. (Master!) I want to maintain relations but he wishes to sever them. Due to this behaviour of his I am also inclined to cut off ties with him. Can you permit me to do so?"

Imam (a.s.) replied: 
"(Remember) If you behave kindly with this relative of yours inspite of his Qat-e-Rahmi (then it is possible that one day this will affect him and he too will begin to fulfill his obligations). In this way the Mercy of Allah shall be upon both of you. But if you break ties with this cousin of yours then neither of you shall be eligible for the Mercy of Allah." 
(Al Kafi)

Goodness in Return of Ill-Treatment

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says: 
"If any one betrays trust with you, do not betray trust with him or you will also become like him. Similarly, do not break ties with your relatives even if they do so." 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

It means that if we reciprocate the malice of a relative we shall also be like him (i.e. sinful). In the same way the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) has invited us to perform kindness in lieu of misdemeanor. He remarks, "Do you wish me to tell you (about those qualities) which shall benefit you in this world as well as Hereafter?"

The people said, "O Prophet of Allah! Please do so."
The Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said, 
"The three such qualities are, firstly, to do Sileh Rahmi with one who does Qat-e-Rahmi with you. Secondly, fulfill the needs of one who has deprived you. Thirdly, forgive those who have oppressed you." 
(Al Kafi)

Breaking of Ties With the Muslim and the Kafir Relatives

The traditions of the Masumeen (a.s.) leave no doubt whatsoever that the fulfilling of the rights of one's relatives is obligatory. Whether the relatives are Shia or Sunni, pious and religious or sinful and transgressors or whether they are Muslims or Kafirs. It is compulsory to perform Sileh Rahmi with them. Even if a Muslim relative apostises and becomes a kafir, his rights are not invalidated.

Ibne-e-Hamid enquired from Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.): "My relatives are not of my religion. Are any of their rights upon me?" Imam (a.s.) gave the following reply: 
"Why not? The rights of the relatives do not become invalid for any reason (even if the relatives are unbelievers) but if the relatives are Muslim then their rights are twice as much. One is due to their being relatives and second because of their being Muslim." 
(Al Kafi)

Dawood Raqqi the Companion of the Sixth Imam (a.s.)

Dawood Raqqi says: "I was sitting in the company of Imam (a.s.) when Imam (a.s.) himself started speaking and said:
"Dawood, on Thursday the report of your deeds was presented to me and I saw among your deeds the Sileh Rahmi which you have performed with your cousin (brother), I was very pleased. However, I know that this Sileh Rahmi of yours will (because of his Qat-e-Rahmi towards you) be the cause of his early death." 
(Behaarul Anwaar)

Dawood, the companion of Imam Sadiq (a.s.) says: "My cousin used to bear enmity towards me. He was an evil person. When I came to know about his destitution, I went to Makkah and gave him some money so that he could manage himself for some time. It was this action of mine about which Imam (a.s.) was informed and he told of it on my return to Madinah."

The Behaviour of Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.) Towards His Inimical Relatives

Certain relatives of the Holy Imam (a.s.) not only failed to acknowledge his rights but even bore enmity against him in their hearts. Although the enmity against Imam (a.s.) makes him a disbeliever. Yet Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) willed that seventy Dinars be given to Hasan Aftas. Hasan Aftas was an evil person and had such deep malice against Imam (a.s.) that he had once tried to attack Imam (a.s.) with a sword. The goodly behaviour of Imam (a.s.) towards his enemy was due entirely to his relationship.

Conversation of Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.) With Abdullah Hasani

Once Abdullah Hasani, a relative of Imam Sadiq (a.s.) met him on the streets of Madinah. He had a meaningless argument with Imam (a.s.) and spoke ill of him. Imam (a.s.) replied to this misbehavior in the best way. He went to the house of this person the very next day and said, "Yesterday I recited the following Ayat of the Quran, 
"And those who joined that which Allah has bidden to be joined and have awe of their Lord and fear the evil reckoning. 
(Surah Raad 13:21)

I became very fearful because of it." Abdullah understood that Imam (a.s.) was intending to correct him. He began to weep and said, "I have willfully forgotten this verse. After this, Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) and Abdullah embraced each other.
(Al Kafi)

The Grief of Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) on the Oppression upon the Descendants of Imam Hasan (a.s.)

When Mansoor Dawaniqi arrested and imprisoned Abdullah Mahej and other Hasani Sadaats, Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) was grief-stricken. Although the Hasanis were opposed to Imam (a.s.), the Imam's (a.s.) distress was such that he was confined to bed for twenty days. He wrote a lengthy letter to them to express his sorrow and to offer comfort and consolation. He sent this letter to the prison of Kufa and was in regular contact with them to know their well-being. Often he wept on their imprisonment.

It Does Not Matter if We Are Kind to Certain Relatives Who Are Not Muslim

It is simply clear by now that for Sileh-Rahem and Qate-Rahem, the Shariat does not distinguish between a Muslim and a Kafir or between a pious and a sinful person. At the same time we also know that Islam exhorts us to shun infidels and to dissociate with them. These contradicting views will cause some confusion in our minds and a word of explanation is in order.

Undoubtedly Islam orders us to detest kafirs, hence it is improper to behave well with them. Good behaviour towards a Kafir is an outward act and at a social level. While hating him for being an Kafir is how you feel and think about him at a spiritual level. Since Sileh-Rahem is obligatory, we must behave well with our Kafir relatives, but at no stage should we be oblivious of the fact that they are non-believers and deserve to be hated for being Kafirs.

Sileh Rahmi to Kafir Relatives Should Not Encourage Them in Their Disbelief

If Sileh Rahmi towards a Kafir relative, in some way, strengthens his conviction towards his own religious views; or if Sileh-Rahem towards a sinful relative provides him with opportunity and encouragement in his unlawful ways, then this kind of Sileh Rahmi is forbidden. In fact, if Qat-e-Rahem induces a disbeliever to introspect and reconsider his disbelief, then, Qat-e-Rahmi is obligatory on us. In the same way Qat-e-Rahem is obligatory if it discourages or dissuades a relative in his sinful ways.

Dissociating With the Enemies of Islam

There is another situation where Qat-e-Rahem is Wajib (obligatory). That is when the kafir or sinful relative harbors malice towards the religion of Islam. Allah says in Surah Mujadila:
"You shall not find people who believe in Allah and the latter day befriending those who act in opposition to Allah and His apostle, even though they were their (own) fathers, or their sons or their brothers or their kinsfolk..." 
(Surah Mujadila 58:22)

This verse clearly indicates that one must abstain from Sileh Rahem towards even the closest of relatives if they are inimical towards Allah or the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) or the Islamic faith.

Sileh Rahmi is Wajib if the Relative is not Overtly Inimical

A Quranic verse from the chapter Mumtehana says:
"Allah does not forbid you from respecting those who have not made war against you on account of (your) religion, and have not driven you forth from your homes, that you show them kindness and deal with them justly, surely Allah loves the doers of justice. Allah only forbids you from respecting those who made war upon you on account of (your) religion, and drove you forth from your homes and backed up others in your expulsion, that you make friendship with them and whoever makes friends with them, these are the unjust." 
(Surah Mumtehana 60:8-9)

Thus it could be concluded from the above two verses that if a relative does not openly oppress us or exhibit enmity, then Sileh Rahmi is Wajib towards him.

Sileh Rahmi is Wajib Even if One Has to Travel Far to Perform it

It is highly recommended to fulfill the duty of Sileh Rahmi even if one has to roam a long distance to do so. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) told Ali (a.s.):
"O Ali! Even if you have to travel for two years to do good to your parents, do it, even if you have to travel for one year to perform Sileh Rahmi to your kinsfolk, do so. Even if you have to journey a mile to see a sick person, do it. Even if you have to walk two miles to attend a funeral, do it. Even if you have to travel four miles to meet a believing brother, do it."
(Behaarul Anwaar)

Traditions have stated, as mentioned earlier, that for every step a person takes to visit his relatives, he gets forty thousand rewards, forty thousand of his sins are forgiven and his status is raised by forty thousand grades.

Maintain Cordial Relations But Do Not Reside Close to Each Other

Amirul Momineen (a.s.) writes a letter to one of his officers, 
"Order the relatives to visit each other but ask them not to reside in the same neighborhood."

The late Scholar, Naraqi, explains in his book, 'Meraj us Sadaat': "Staying next to each other breeds malice and jealousy and results in Qat-e-Rahem."

It is much easier for relatives to maintain harmony and goodwill by staying apart from each other. Proximity often results in friction and enmity.

There is a Persian proverb that says that distance and friendship are proportionate to each other.

Sileh Rahmi With the Spiritual Father

We are indeed indebted to our parents for our physical, mental and spiritual development. But mankind could not have been guided right, without a spiritual father. The essence of spiritual guidance which consists of rules of conduct as approved by Allah have come to us only through the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and it was the sustained and unsparing effort of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) which guided mankind to the path of salvation and eternal happiness. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) was the spiritual father of the Muslims in his time and later Ali (a.s.) took his place. It is only through love and obedience to them that one can hope to achieve spiritual eminence.

This is corroborated by the statement of Allah to the effect that whoever enters the 'fort' (protection) of these exalted personalities, his spiritualism becomes evident in his behaviour. The doors of knowledge and awareness are open. The fountain of sagacity flows in his heart and the reality becomes manifest for him.

The Advent of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) - A Fabulous Blessing

It is not possible for a man to achieve spiritual excellence without the love and obedience of a spiritual father.

"Certainly Allah conferred a benefit upon the believers when he raised among them an apostle from among themselves, reciting to them His communications and purifying them, and teaching them the book and the wisdom, although before that they were surely in manifest error." 
(Surah Aale Imran 3:164)

This verse signifies the importance of the advent of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) by Allah for the guidance of mankind. We must acknowledge it as the greatest blessing of Allah and a favour that He bestowed upon His creatures.

The Wilayat of Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) and the Worldly Comforts and Blessings

Yunus Ibne Abdul Rehman told Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.): 
"The love and Wilayat of Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) has been prescribed as your right upon us by Allah. I consider this blessing to be much superior to the worldly blessings."

Imam (a.s.) was distraught and he replied:
"You have made an inappropriate comparison. What are the worldly blessings? What is it more than eating, drinking and dressing? And you compare all these transient things with our love which is an everlasting reality?"

We have seen in the discussion on the rights of parents, that we can be 'Aaq' of our spiritual fathers if we fail to fulfill their rights. Not all of us may be capable of fulfilling this duty to the fullest extent. But we should sincerely try our utmost to obey their commands. At the same time we should be fully aware of our deficiencies and failings and continually implore our infallible guides to pardon us.

Who Are the Spiritual Fathers?
Sileh Rahmi is Wajib and Qat-e-Rahmi is Haraam towards our spiritual relatives also. Our Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and our Imams (a.s.) are our spiritual fathers. So, the descendants of our Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and the Imams (a.s.), that is the Sadaat, are our spiritual relatives. Also, since the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and the Imams (a.s.) are the spiritual fathers of all believers and Shias, we all are related to each other, and are like brothers of each other.

"Certainly the Believers Are Brothers of Each Other."
(Surah Hujarat 49:10)

The verse clearly indicates that everyone is somehow related to a common spiritual father.