It is necessary to keep in mind the forecited disadvantages of backbiting.
* It is necessary to pay the greatest attention to self-discipline by applying the noble traits to oneself.
As he was asked about his educator, Muhammad ibn Hanafiyeh said: “It is my Lord Who educated me in myself. I have followed and imitated any element that is enjoyed by men of sense when I found good, and I have avoided any element that is practiced by the ignorant when I found ugly. Hence, I could attain the treasures of knowledge.” (7)
* It is advisable to speak of joyful things, such as pleasant stories and nice purposeful talks, instead of backbiting.
* Backbiting often results from a weakness in the backbiter’s own soul, such as an inferiority complex. You should pry into your soul to discover what weakness prompted you to backbite your brother or sister; then set out to remedy the weakness.
* It is worthwhile, finally, to control one’s wording and abstain from the initiatives of backbiting.
Penance of Backbiting
To make amends for it, one must feel regret and repent from the sins of backbiting. Then, he must curry favor with the one he backbit and ask him for acquittal. If the backbitten forgives, it will be satisfactory. If not, to curry favor with him and apologize will be equivalents of the commitment of backbiting. The previous acts should be done when the backbitten is alive and when such confessions before him do not arise his rage. If they do, or if he is dead, it is necessary to seek God’s forgiveness t o him. (8)
The Prophet (PBUH) said: “The penance of backbiting is to seek Allah’s forgiveness to him –the backbitten- whenever you mention him.”
Notes:
7. Quoted from Safinat ul-Bihar; vol. 1 page 324.
8. Quoted from Bihar ul-Anwar; Kitab ul-Ashara, page 184 (as quoted from al-Kafi).
9. Quoted from Safinat ul-Bihar; 1/110 (as quoted from Uyounu Akhbar ir-Ridha)
source : tebyan
