Whatever good, (O man!) happens to thee, is from God; But whatever evil happens to thee, is from thy (own) soul. [Holy Quran: Nisaa 4:79]

The Good and the Bad

Man is a creature consisting of the intellect, the heart, the soul and the body. Good and bad aspects exist for each part of man's being; all the good ones originate in God and all the bad ones originate in man himself. Nothing but benefits, goodness, mercy and blessings come from the Sacred Existence, God, Who is mentioned in the Glorious Quran as having the following attributes: the All-Benevolent; the All-Merciful; the Lord; the All-Loving; the All-Forgiving; the Generous; the All-Subtle; the Compassionate; the Creator; the Shaper; the Holy and the All-Mighty.

Nothing but evil and damage are the products of ignorance, rancor, envy, spite, short-temperedness, greed and laziness. An individual must strive to attain enough wisdom, knowledge and insight so as to make a living; to thoroughly illuminate one's worldy life and spiritual life; to manage the affairs of his wife and children; and to acquire the correct outlook on Existence and the world, as much as his personal and social duties requires.

Learning about the basic matters such as belief in God and the Day of Judgment, knowledge about the Prophethood and the leadership of the Imams, is a necessary affair and one's personal duty. One is duty-bound to learn the matters related to jurisprudence and the worldly sciences as much as he needs to. God has bestowed upon man the beneficial elements of science and knowledge, wisdom and insight as powerful goods and benefits along with the necessary success in growth, perfection of the intellect and the power to understand. Whenever the intellect, itself being one of God's blessings, accompanies other blessings like success and insight, then a sea of light appears in the individual's spiritual domain. This illumination and good will guarantee a part of the security of man's spiritual domain. Naturally, this security will be passed on from a man to his wife and children, and they too will benefit from peace with him. As a result, life will to some extent be illuminated by the light of peace and quiet.

In the first stage, it is essential for the head of the household, who is responsible for managing life's affairs to have enough knowledge of religion as required by his personal duty and, as much as is necessary of religious jurisprudence knowledge: this means to be informed of the religiously lawful and forbidden actions and things. He must have as much as necessary of worldly knowledge in order to run life. In the next stage and under the support of the man of the house who provides the necessities of the family, the wife and the children can live as a small nation in the small country of the home. They can live together with knowledge, wisdom, insight and awareness, and be secure from the evils of ignorance, illiteracy, jealousy and foolishness. Verily knowledge provides security and ignorance and illiteracy will result in loss.

Ignorance and Illiteracy

In a very important statement made by members of the Prophet's family, ignorance is considered to be a kind of spiritual death and to be more detrimental to one's life than a harmful meal. Ignorance is an illness, some sort of suffering, a source of deviation bringing on ever-lasting misfortune. It ruins one's future life, is a mine of evil and a dangerous enemy. Ignorance is the cause of unbelief and deviation, and prevents sermons and advice from being accepted. It also is the cause of excesses in life. The Commander of the Faithful, Imam Ali (Pbuh) said: Ignorance is death; ignorance is destruction; ignorance is an incurable disease; ignorance is a cause of man's slippage; ignorance ruins the Hereafter; ignorance is the source of all evils; and ignorance is the main stock of evil. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.2, p.154]

The Prophet (Pbuh) was asked about the signs of the ignorant. He answered as follows: An ignorant will trouble you if you socialize with him. He will blame you if you stay away from him; he will mention it if he grants you something; he will be ungrateful if you grants him something; and if you trust him with your secrets, he will misuse your trust. [Tuhaf ul-Uqool, p.28]

Consider the following matter for yourself. If the head of the household is ignorant, does not consider spiritual and doctrinal matters to be important and has no worldly plans in mind, then he will be a great source of stress, insecurity, trouble, suffering and torment in and outside of the home. Wealth and property, the home and life, the wife and children, are faced with danger and damage, and loss and insecurity in the presence of an ignorant individual. Islam stresses that one must acquire wisdom and insight in worldly and spiritual affairs as much as necessary, so that security is created in the individual's spiritual and worldly life. Islam wants an individual's innocent wife and children to live in peace with him, and not suffer any physical blows, loss and damages at his hands. It does not want his family's worldly and future lives to suffer any loss and the distressful monsters of war to be at their throats.

In Islamic literary traditions, it is written that Jesus (Pbuh) was wholeheartedly on the run. A friend of his asked him why this was so. Jesusf (Pbuh) replied he was fleeing from the ignorant. O' yes, one must be wholeheartedly on the run from ignorance and the ignorant, and follow the Prophets' way so as to secure one's prosperity in this world and the Hereafter. Even if the ignorant has the elixir of life, he is poor, but the informed and the wise is rich beside poverty.

Knowledge and Wisdom

According to the decree of the Glorious Quran, the wise and the foolish are in no way equal: Say:

Are those equal, those who know and those who do not know?[Holy Quran: Zumar 39:9]

And as the Prophet of Islam (Pbuh) has said: A day in which I acquire no knowledge or science which would help me approach God is not a blessed day for me. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.6, p.449]

He also said: A heart without any wisdom is like a ruin. So learn, teach and understand and do not pass away as an ignorant. Verily God will not accept the excuse of the ignorant in the Hereafter. [Ibid]

The Commander of the Faithful, Imam Ali (Pbuh) described knowledge and wisdom, and their attributes in the magnificent book entitled “Ghurar al-Hikam” as follows: Knowledge brings forth success and is a dam against catastrophes and calamities. Wisdom is the highest degree of self-sufficiency. Knowledge is the light of the intellect; a good reason; the best guidance; obvious beauty; the best companion; the most worthy measure; the believer's lost one; the guide to patience; the most beneficial treasure and the most excellent truth. In one sentence, the Prophet (Pbuh), expressed all the realities in this world and the Hereafter resulting from knowledge and wisdom: Knowledge, insight and wisdom are the source of all goodness. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.77, p.175]

Hazrat Ali (Pbuh) recognizes that there are seven basic differences between material wealth and knowledge. - Knowledge and insight are the legacy of the Prophets. Wealth and property are the legacy of the Pharaohs. Knowledge will not decrease once taught, but wealth once spent will. Wealth requires a guard, while knowledge guards an individual. Knowledge accompanies an individual all the way to his future life, while wealth remains in this world. Acquiring wealth is feasible for everyone, but knowledge, wisdom and insight belong to the believers. Concerning the affairs of religion, all people are in need of a wise man but do not need a wealthy one. Knowledge will help one pass over the bridge to the Hereafter, but wealth will prevent one from rendering one’s accounts. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.77, p.185]

An empty ship will face many dangers such as terribly bad weather, strong winds, wreckage or getting lost while sailing at sea, while a full ship will move on safe and secure to approach its destination. This is similar to an ignorant man versus a wise, knowledgeable one. How does the person behave whose spiritual life is enlightened by the light of monotheism; whose heart is sure of the truth and whose soul is pledged to the Resurrection Day; and who knows that the day is the Day when:

Then shall anyone who has done an atom's weight of good, see it! And anyone who has done an atom's weight of evil, shall see it. [Holy Quran: Zilzal 99: 7-8]

How does the person behave who knows himself to be only a traveler in this world and who knows the future life to be the everlasting home for life in the Hereafter? The one who considers all blessings to be entrusted to him by God; the one who considers himself responsible for every blessing; the one who knows that God gave him a wife, children, a house, a factory, wealth and property, etc. In short, how does a person behave whose relationship with everything is determined by wisdom? This sort of person's behavior is actually wisdom itself; his actions are just like enlightenment; his movements are pure truth; and his interactions with everyone and everything- especially his wife and children- are based upon peace, straight forwardness, compassion, mercy, genuineness and generosity. A Lot of security and tranquillity are expected from such a person at home, with the family and outside the home. Everyone who comes into contact with him lives in security, at ease and in peace and quiet along with having trust in him. Islam wants the man of the house, the spouse of a lady and the father of children to be exactly like the man described above.

The Heart is the Source of Truth

In Islamic works there are various, surprising explanations about the heart:

The territory of God[Bihar al-Anwar, v.70, p.25]

A spring [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.8, p.212]

An Imam (leader) [Bihar al-Anwar, v.70, p.53]

A monarch [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.8, pp.216-218]

A container.[Ibid]

Other attributes have been ascribed to the heart (soul) such as: health, illness, innocence, mischief-making, soft-heartedness, harshness, enlightenment, blindness, destruction, prosperity, misfortune, life, death, courage, termination, calmness, deviation and hard-heartedness. These interpretations of the heart are mentioned in the Glorious Quran and other books like Usul al-Kafi, Shafi, Bihar al-Anwar, Vasa'il al-Shiia, Mustadrak al-Vasa'il, Tuhaf ul-Uqool, Ruzat al-Vaizin and Muhjat ul-Biyza, with various words given a meaning. Really, the heart is a container and what an amazing one it is!

If room in it is made for faith in God and the Resurrection Day, innocence, enlightenment, life, fear of punishment, fear of God, sincerity, and in short-sympathy, compassion, loving-kindness and love- then the owners of this heart will enjoy peace, security, health and tranquillity. Everyone who comes into contact with such a person will be secure, healthy and at ease. If this container, however, is a place for greediness, stinginess, avarice, envy, spite, hypocrisy, unbelief, polytheism, hard-heartedness, suspicion and the like, the owner of a such heart is a dangerous, harmful, corrupt, base and oppressive creature: no one will be safe at his hands.

The following must be mentioned to the youth who have still not gotten married. If you recognize that your heart has been polluted by these hideous qualities, then try and reform it and then get married. This is so because the woman who marries you, who comes to your house with thousands of desires and has abandoned her home, neighborhood or city, and loving bosoms of her parents, and after a time gets pregnant by you, will then feel secure and have some peace and quiet. She can then properly perform her marital and domestic duties and raise your children. An insecure home and a person who destroys security is Hell and the punishment of Hell. Woe unto the man whose wife and children are not safe with him, and continually live in bitterness and trouble.

And woe unto the woman whose husband and children are bothered by her and live in suffering. Woe unto her who without fear of God, changes the peaceful home environment into one of terror and stress. And woe unto those children whose mother and father are not at ease due to their offspring’s trouble-making. Amir al-Mumeneen (The Commander of the Faithful) (Pbuh) believes that if a person's heart is not linked up to God and his heart is not full of faith, the love and kindness of God, then amazing catastrophes will befall him. If he becomes attached to the baseness of greediness and is polluted by the excitement of it, then avarice will attack and destroy him. And if he becomes cold-hearted, sorrow will kill him. In the case he is subject to someone's anger, he gets angry and the fire of anger will blaze. If he gets too involved in happiness, he will lose control of himself. If he becomes fearful, his life will be wasted in abstention. If he finds security, his existence will be devastated by pride. If he is struck with a misfortune, he will go crazy and disgraced. If he attains some wealth, wealth and riches will make him rebel. If poverty attacks him, calamities and troubles will entertain him. If hunger presses down upon him, weakness will make him bedridden. If extravagance in anything attacks him, gluttony will prevent him from breathing.

Whatever is given to such a man in small amounts is harmful to him, and whatever is given in excess causes corruption in him. These astonishing words of the Prophet, Muhammad (Pbuh) concern the health and the illness of the heart: There is a piece of meat in our body which when healthy guarantees that the rest of our body is healthy and when sick, the rest of our body gets sick. This is nothing else but the heart! [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.8, pp.216-218]

The Prophet (Pbuh) also said: There are containers on the Earth for God the Almighty. Know that those containers are hearts. The most beloved of those hearts is the kindest, most pure and the strongest: The kindest towards the believing brethren, the most pure from sins, and the strongest in attachment to the Lord. The Commander of the Faithful, Imam Ali(Pbuh), stated a very important tradition concerning the health of the heart: Your heart will not be healthy for you unless you prefer for the believers whatever you prefer for yourself. What an amazing way has been suggested for the heart to be healthy! What an enlightened and wise saying has been quoted from one of the Saints and Lovers of God!

O 'yes, if a person wants for others what he wants for himself, the heart will gradually be freed of all vices and corruption, and changed into a healthy heart. At this moment, the expanse of the heart will be overfilled with faith, love, compassion, mercy, nobility and sincerity. All those coming into contact with such a person, especially the wife and the children, will benefit from goodness in this life and the Hereafter. If a youth has still not married and if he finds some imperfections in his heart, he should try to reform it. If he does not do so, his future wife and children will be oppressed. If married men find some dark defects in their hearts, they must strive to correct these problems. If they do not do so, their wives and offspring will not be safe at their hands.

Everyone must know the following fact: A great punishment awaits those men whose wife and children are endangered with being corrupted by their husband’s ill-temperedness and bad actions. If the intellect is fed with knowledge and one's behavior is endowed with divinity, then the soul is enlightened and all of one's actions become heavenly. An individual is changed into a source of goodness and a spring of virtues who insures the security of others. Concerning this matter, pay close attention to the following Quranic verse from the Book of God:

It is those who believe and confuse not their beliefs with wrong- that are (truly) in security, for they are on (right) guidance. [Holy Quran: An'am 6:82]

O 'yes, just as has been mentioned at the beginning of this discussion, all goodness comes from God and all evil from man himself. One can acquire all the virtues and wipe out all the evil from his being by turning to God, following the Prophets, the Quran, the Imams and by utilizing one’s worldly and spiritual power. Once an individual has acquired virtues, it is his duty to relay them, as much as is within his power to others, especially his wife and children. If one is indifferent in this area it is considered a great sin causing God's punishment. Our Imams (leaders) have stated that we must be a model for others in our words and actions, so that whenever anyone sees goodness and the soul's beauty in someone else, he desires to acquire such virtues. The man of the house must be a proof of God for his family and the symbol of goodness at home. He must be a model of spiritual, moral and practical goodness at home. The man of the house will not be such unless his intellect, heart, soul and body -as much as is within his power- are fed with knowledge, morality, pleasantness, innocence, piety, honesty, and good acts. This is so because his house and his household must be a branch of the Household of the Prophet (Pbuh) and a manifestation of the Saints of God. At this point, it is felt necessary to participate in useful, religious meetings and to go to the mosques and to have discussions with clergymen and jurisprudents about religion and the spiritual world. If one avoids these actions, it is the source of increasing one's ignorance, the appearance of mental illness and deviation in the soul and practical affairs. There shall be no excuse for anyone in front of God, in this world, the Purgatory or the Hereafter given the manifestation of revelations in the Quran, the effects of the Prophethood of the Prophets and the leadership of the Imams in valuable authentic books; all these mosques and religious ceremonies; the availability of clergymen to help one walk on God's path, reach perfection and acquire the good of this world and the Hereafter.

Torture in the Expanse of the Hereafter

The fire of Hell is burning because of ignorance, corruption of the heart and deviation. It is not God the Compassionate who has willed punishment to be necessary for anyone he decides to punish. It is sin, evilness and moral vice that appear in the form of punishment and fire, and imprison the beings of the sinners. If there were no sinning, denial of God and unbelief, and disobeyance of God, there would also be no punishment in Purgatory and on the Day of Judgment. It is stated in the Supplication of Kumayl: I know for sure that if it was not for Your decree to punish the rejecters and opponents everlasting in Hell, You would have cooled down all the Fire, and made it healthy, and there was no room for punishment for anyone. But You have sworn that You shall fill Hell with the pagans, and those who are ungrateful.

Therefore, there are some people who pollute themselves with sin and thereby create their own punishment. It is God the Merciful and Forgiving who has created everything needed to adorn His servants with goodness resulting in security in this world and the next. Men and women try to bring about an acceptable amount of security in their lives for themselves, their children, relatives and others, with the help of faith, morality, good deeds, sincerity, fidelity, honesty and patience. Thus, these people will enjoy peace and security on the Day of Judgment due to the security they created in this world. According to the Prophet (Pbuh): This world is the field of cultivation for the Hereafter. And according to Imam Baqir (Pbuh) : Truly this world is a good home for the pious ones. The pious ones make supplies for the Hereafter out of all the activities of this world. Out of their own world, they establish their own Hereafter. They are happier in their own world and the Hereafter. Abdullah ibn Ya'fur who ranks among the eminent Islamic personalities stated: "I said to Imam Sadiq (Pbuh)  that I was in love with this world. He asked what I did in the world. I said I used it to marry, go on pilgrimage to Mecca, earn the living expenses for my wife and children, attend to the needs of my needy brothers in their affairs and pay charity. Imam Sadiq (Pbuh) said: These affairs are not of this world but of the Hereafter. You can see that the faithful and pious run business, farms and have income. They marry, manage the home and life in the best manner, help others, go on pilgrimages and pay alms.

In short, they spend their time in this world in a healthy way with security, faith and a good temper, and then benefit in a better way from the Hereafter. I wish that all the homes would be filled with security and healthiness. I wish that faith, morality and good deeds would govern over all homes and that all men and women were adorned with goodness and lacked any vices, so that no one would have any problems. I wish that all would live together in a healthy way and in peace, and enjoy God's blessings. The sixth Imam (Pbuh) introduces the real believers in an important tradition, a part of which goes: All the people are in comfort because of the believers, and the believer is put to some trouble due to creating this security and comfort. [Bihar Al-Anwar, V.78, P.37]

Good Mothers and Fathers

A wife and husband who are adorned with goodness and cleansed of vices are a source of peace and security for each other. They are a source of development, perfection and peace and quiet for their children. They are never indifferent to their offsprings’ needs: the parents kindly and politely answer the request of their children for kindness, material expenses, education, visiting, recreation and marriage. If they cannot answer positively to some of their children requests, the parents persuade the children with good manners and patience. And the dignified children accept their parent's answers and explanations. Enlightened and good children refuse to do evil if their parents sometimes invite them to do so due to not paying attention to the children. They refuse their parents request respectfully and politely and do not deviate from the right way. At the time of the Prophet (Pbuh) there was a mother who did not like her children becoming Muslim and even she refused to eat any food. But when she heard that God approved of her child becoming a Muslim and did not value her disapproval, she broke her fast and remained silent before her children.

O’ parents, the Prophet (Pbuh) pays strict attention to your aborted fetus; so much so that he stated when the fetus is told to enter heaven; it will answer in the negative saying: I will not enter until my parents enter heaven before me. [Vasa'il Al-Shiia, V.20, P.14, Al-i-Bayt Press]

Why don't you take especial care of your honorable offspring who are God's blessing and goodness. Taking care of offspring and paying good attention to them and their human needs is an affair that is very beneficial here and in the Hereafter.

The Aspects of Virtue in the Family

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: Whoever marries and visits his relatives for the sake of God, God shall attend to him by placing a crown like that of the angels on his head. [Vasa'il, v.20, p.51, Al-i-Bayt Press]

The Sincerity of One's Intentions

These wise and important words have been reported on the authority of the Prophet (Pbuh): Whoever marries to please Allah and establish a family, God will adorn his head with the crown of angels. Marriage produces numerous benefits: the loving-kindness of a wife and a husband; relief from loneliness; increase in one's daily sustenance; the happiness of two families; maintaining half of one's religion; attaining God's satisfaction; sexual pleasure; having children in one's life and finding support in life, etc. In addition to all these benefits, if one marries for the sake of God and with the best of intentions, then due to his good intentions he has engaged in a great act of worship. Marriage will make him equal in worth to angels and a crown like that of the angels will adorn his head. Why not act in such a way that God's acceptance illuminates it and places a highmost value on it?

From the very beginning, let's base the foundation of marriage and the establishment of a new life upon sincerity. Our men and women must give their total attention to this matter so that both the worldly and spiritual aspects of their lives will enjoy the attention, mercy and acceptance of Allah. Imam Ali(Pbuh) has been narrated as having said that none of our acts is of a higher value than the ones accepted by God. This has been narrated in the book Mava’ez al-’Addadiyi.

The Peak of Sincere Intention

Considering this matter, pay especial attention to this very amazing story told by the Prophet Moses(Pbuh) (Musa ibn Umran).

One day Moses (Pbuh) watered the Prophet Jethro's flocks of sheep and then in return Jethro (Pbuh) invited him to come home with him. Moses entered that great Prophet's house where the table was already spread for dinner. Jethro requested the young man to sit down for dinner. Moses replied that he could not partake of the food, so Jethro asked Moses if he was hungry. Moses replied he was hungry, but was afraid that the dinner before him was in recompense for his previous good deed. He said we are of a family who will not even exchange a bit of our good deeds for the Hereafter, even an earth full of pure gold. Jethro said: "O, young man! I swear to God that this was not what I had in mind when inviting you to dinner. I didn't intend to recompense your divine deed with food from my table. It is my father's and my custom to entertain guests and serve them food. After this discussion, Moses sat down at the table to eat. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.13, p.21]

Really, it is very astonishing that Moses had left Egypt some time ago and been wandering around in the wilderness, but during that time was not able to find any suitable food. He had eaten the sweet plants of the desert and upon entering Jethro's house he saw a prepared and pleasant table of food. Even though he was terribly hungry, he would not partake of the food because he thought that this deed only for God's sake (watering the sheep) might possibly be lessened in the sight of Allah. However, when Jethro insured Moses that he also intended to please God and had sincere intentions in entertaining his guest, then Moses sat down to eat. Jethro's sincerity was the reason why Moses[1] became Jethro's shepherd for the next eight years. And Moses' sincerity was the reason why the Prophet Jethro (Pbuh) became Moses's father-in-law.

A Surprising Example of Sincerity

For many years I had been a friend of one of the sincere men of the cloth in love with the Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) and his Household. His morality and behavior had taught me some good lessons. He told me that when he had left Tehran for Qum so as to become educated in theology, Ayatullah Al'Uzma Hajj Sheik Abdulkarim was the head of the Qum Seminary. After some time, I was introduced to the Ayatullah as having an especial zeal for and way of reciting the tragedies of the Household of the Prophet Mohammed (Pbuh). I was requested to recite those tragedies for him at specified times. Gradually, I became renown for this type of recital and I was honored to be in the line of the professional reciters of the elegies for Imam Husayn (Pbuh).

One Thursday night I was taken to the home of one of the great clergymen who lived in the poorer parts of town and was asked to make a speech where I spoke for a few minutes about death referring to some lines from the book Nahj ul-Balaghah (The Peak of Eloquence).

The house owner sobbed too much and even continued doing so until the end of the meeting. I was invited to go again next Thursday night and was instructed to speak about a lighter and more down to earth subject. Whenever the distinguished house owner remembered the sermon subject from the week before, he sobbed his heart out.

Then I was told a surprising story about that man's sincerity. He was single, but our insistence upon his marrying was to no avail. After a while he accepted to get married, so a young, unmarried woman was suggested to him to be his suitable match. According to the principles of Islamic law he saw her one time, but he rejected the marriage. Later on I heard that the man had married a dark-complexioned, ugly widow having three offspring. I was really surprised to hear the news, so I asked him why he had done so. He replied that he had seen the first lady who was a virgin and accepted to marry her, but as much as he tried to do so out of sincere intentions and for the sake of Allah he found it to be impossible. So he decided to forsake the marriage. Then he said he saw the second woman whose husband had died and therefore had no one to bring in the daily bread. She was left with three orphans so no one was ready to marry her. He noted that he had found the field of sincerity of intentions and married for the sake of Allah. He also mentioned that the real benefits of this good deal would be bestowed upon him on the Day of Judgment. The Commander of the Faithful Ali (Pbuh) stated: Blessed is the one whose actions, knowledge, kindness, revenge, taking and not taking things, speaking and not speaking all stem from his sincerity for Allah. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.3, pp.56-58]

He also said: Sincerity is the most honorable ending. [Ibid]

Hazrat Ali (Pbuh) said: Freedom is found in sincerity. [Ibid]

And he said: Sincerity is the support for the worship of Allah. [Ibid]

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: Blessed are the sincere ones. They are the lights on the path of guidance and are free from any wickedness. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.3, pp.59-62]

Imam Hassan Askari (Pbuh) said the following about the very impressive value of the sincere ones: If I reduced the whole world into a bite of food and fed it to the one who worships God out of sincerity, then I would still think I had not done right by him. [Ibid]

The Prophet (Pbuh) stated: Do all your actions out of sincerity for God. God will not accept those actions except the ones done out of sincerity for Him. [Ibid]

Imam Ali (Pbuh) said: The one whose goal is other than God has been ruined. [Ibid]

The Prophet (Pbuh) stated: Sincerity means to avoid all divinely forbidden things and actions. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.3, p.63]

The flower of sincerity in each action would blossom from the garden of the spirit and its scent would fill all spheres of life, if passion, lust, the instincts, keeping up with the Joneses, attachment to material affairs over and above the lawful limits and forgetfulness in one's affairs did not rule over us. O' how pleasant is the life of a man and his wife who have based their marriage on sincerity and during the course of life continue to be sincere even in the face of limitations. Say:

Truly, my prayer and my service of sacrifice, my life and my death, are (all) for God, the Cherisher of the Worlds: [Holy Quran: An'am 6:162]

Hypocrisy and showing off in the performance of the obligatory acts would void them and hypocrisy and showing off in the lawful acts would reduce their value.

 Piety and Justice

A woman and her husband must observe the divine matters and Islamic decrees when interacting with each other. Enacting these truths in life is impossible unless one puts piety and justice to work in his life. Piety means avoiding evil deeds, bad-temperedness and unacceptable behavior. Justice means to avoid going to extremes in one's daily affairs. Oppression of a woman by a man and vice versa to whatever degree it may be is shameful, even though some may not think it is important. A woman does not have great physical strength and at times is not in good spirits. In his encounters with his wife a man must consider the various aspects of her creation, just as God has taken into consideration a woman's abilities and powers and exempted her from carrying out some duties. Woman's weaknesses must be compensated for by the graceful encounters of the man with her. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: Whoever gets married for the sake of God and observe the relations of the womb, then God will crown him with the angels' crown.

The Manifestations of Virtue in the Family

She is not in a position for man to fight with her and turn the house into a field for combat and struggle. Consider the following two excellent traditions in this regard: The Commander of the Faithful Ali (Pbuh) has mentioned various detailed and important issues including the nature of woman's creation in his letter to Imam Hassan Mujtaba (Pbuh): Truly, a woman is like a bunch of scented flowers, not a source of physical power. [Vasa'il al-Shiia, v.20, p.168]

Imam Sadiq (Pbuh) said: Most residents of Heaven are from amongst the oppressed. God was aware of their weakness, so that is why He was merciful to them. Then it is incumbent upon men to obey Allah and treat women with kindness, patience, love and affection. In encounters with them, men must consider their physical and spiritual states to be a similar to bunch of scented flowers. Men should avoid going to extremes in oppressing women in any way since God who is the Creator of women has ordered men to fear Him in their dealings with women. And man must entertain God's maid in his house with all possible material and spiritual benefits. This delicate interpretation about women which shows God's especial mercy and consideration for woman has come in a very important tradition regarding the marriage of Adam and Eve in Vasa'il al-Shiia [v.20, p.13, Al-Bayt Publications].

However, a woman must remember that a man has to suffer many hardships to run the affairs of the house. He has to worry about providing for proper housing, clothing and food for the comfort of his wife and children; things which cannot be provided for except by suffering many hardships, working, traveling and encountering various people. Thus, when the man comes home the woman should kindly receive him, take care of him with pleasant conduct and give in to his natural desires. She should welcome her life partner and fill the atmosphere of the house with the good scent of her proper behavior and smile at him thanking him for his hard work. She should attract his love. Then justice, piety, good conduct, a proper attitude, smiling, showing satisfaction, maintaining the peace, and proper entertaining are all considered to be good acts. These must be mutually embarked upon by both sexes so that their joint life is filled with these blessings. The proper treatment of a husband by his wife and that of a husband for his household constitutes a very important section of Shiite traditions being amazingly large in number.

The contents of these divine traditions are also amazing. The oppression of anyone of any other, even in the slightest amount, is not justified and the oppressor must know a terrible punishment awaits him. A man does not own his wife so that he can implement any plan he desires. And a woman in respect to her husband is not free to do as she wishes. Allah, the Prophet of Islam (Pbuh) and the Infallible Imams have designated duties for every woman and her husband. The couple may only interact with each other within that framework of duties. It is oppressive to act outside the divine limits and human, moral responsibilities and such actions have reactions in this world and the Hereafter.

A very important tradition on the authority of the Prophet (Pbuh) concerns a wife oppressing her husband and vice-versa which are satanic acts not associated with nobility. It is really important to pay close attention to it. "Neither the prayers nor any of the good deeds of a woman who bothers her husband will be accepted by God, unless she changes her ways, becomes an assistant to him and pleases him. That annoying woman should know that in case she continues to bother him, she shall be the first person to enter Hell even though she spends her entire life fasting, saying night prayers and frees slaves in the way of God. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: Such punishment exists for a man if he bothers his wife or oppresses her [Vasa'il, v.20, p.160, Al-i-Bayt Press]. Such men or women should know that God has announced his hatred of oppressors in the Holy Quran and has expelled them from his circle of love. But God loveth not those who do wrong.[Al-i-Imran 3:57]

Men and women should note that oppression is not just physical, but mean looks, paying no attention and not giving in to one’s spouse, bad behavior, being vulgar, swearing and belittling are all cases of oppression, too. The woman who oppresses her husband and the man who oppresses his wife are not true Muslims. They have left the circle of guidance and are wading in the marsh of deviation.

Nay, but the transgressors are in manifest error.[Holy Quran: Luqman 31:11]

The Prophet (Pbuh) stated: There are seven mountain passes between Heaven and a servant of Allah: The easiest one is death. Annas  asked the Prophet (Pbuh) which was the most difficult for the servant. He replied: Standing in front of Allah (on the Day of Judgment) while the oppressed ones are clinging to the oppressor's collar. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.5, p.596]

The Commander of the Faithful Ali (Pbuh) said: The evil provisions for the Hereafter consist of oppressing God's servants. Oppression unsteadies one's steps, deprives one of blessings and wipes out whole nations. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.5, pp.595-6]

I swear to Allah that if seven countries were given to me so that I would commit a sin by taking the husk of a barley seed from an ant's mouth, I would not do so. The Prophet (Pbuh) has prohibited men from eating whatever is being transported by the mouth and feet of an ant. [Ibid]

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: Avoid oppression: Verily it is the darkness on the Day of Judgment. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.5, p.599-600]

A man said to the Prophet (Pbuh) that he would like to among the guided ones on the Day of Judgment. Imam Sadiq (Pbuh) said: Any type of oppression is infidelity and he who beats his innocent servant is an unbeliever. [Ibid]

A Virtuous Countenance

Believing men and women have especial characteristics which are manifested in their lives, cause enjoyment in life and the appearance of a new, pure generation. These characteristics cause them to be prosperous in the Hereafter.

 The believers, men and women, are the protectors, one of another: they enjoin what is just, and forbid what is evil: they observe regular prayers, practise regular charity, and obey God and His Apostle. On them will God pour His mercy: for God is Exalted in power, Wise.[Holy Quran: Tauba 9:71]

From many verses about believers, I think this one alone is enough to learn about their physical and spiritual attributes. Once such men and women establish a joint life, their mutual life will be filled with light, sincerity, goodness, blessings, truth and honesty. In this type of life, the man is an ideal man and the woman is an ideal woman, too. Also their life is a good life, and they are prosperous in this world and the Hereafter. The late Majlesi said: There were people whose wife and children would tell them to avoid earning illegal property when they left the house to go to work. We can tolerate hunger and difficulty but cannot tolerate the punishment of the Resurrection Day.

Truly, what virtue is greater than patience and tolerating hardships so as to protect one's self against the punishment on the Last Day. I, myself, saw a great man who sometimes would prohibit his family from buying the things they wanted in a convincing tone. He would promise to fulfill their needs at a later date when business was good. His wife and children would submit to his request and did not bother him. Family life abounded with peace and quiet, divinity and enlightenment. Khadijah the Great (the Prophet's wife) was a woman who patiently bore the hardships during her noble husband's times of difficulty. She shared in his sufferings and sorrows, and lived with the Prophet (Pbuh) in such a way that after her death he would ask God to be merciful to her whenever he remembered her and tears would flow from his eyes. At the beginning of their marriage, she devoted her great and rare wealth of those days to the Prophet's movement. The Prophet (Pbuh) gradually spent that wealth to relieve the problem of the needy and to aid God's movement: finally nothing remained of the wealth. Near the end of her life she lived with her husband in a humble house without too many furnishings. She lived in hardship and the only thing she said to her husband in those difficult days was during the last moments of her life. With tears in her eyes she asked him if God was satisfied with her. The angel entrusted with revelations descended from Heaven and asked the Prophet (Pbuh) to give his best regards to Khadijah and announce God's satisfaction with her. Khadijah became really happy and said to the Prophet (Pbuh) that life and death were now very sweet for her. Fatimah Zahra was only four years old at the time. When she felt the absence of her mother at home, she asked her kind father where her mother was, and the Prophet (Pbuh) answered that she was with the angels. Verily, a believing woman whose faith is manifested in her actions and behavior is an angel-like creature and a source of satisfaction for God and a spring of virtues and perfection.

An Instructive Story

My maternal grandmother and grandfather lived with each other for almost seventy years in peace and quiet, honesty and with faith and morality. Till the end of their lives, they never forgot the following: to lovingly perform the obligatory and recommended Islamic duties; to perform the night prayers; to recite the Quran; to make pilgrimages to the Saints; to hold religious meetings; to entertain guests; to solve others' problems; to visit relatives and to attend the congregational prayers.

My paternal grandfather and grandmother lived with each other in the same way (maybe even more devotedly) for more than fifty years. As is inevitable for everyone, my grandmother passed away near the midday call to prayers early in Muharram, the month of mourning for the Master of the Oppressed Imam Husayn while my grandfather was in perfect health. The children and the relatives were about to write announcements for her mourning ceremonies after burying her. But my grandfather told them not to do so since he was going to pass away the next night after the Isha (night) prayer. He asked them to wait until then and hold just one mourning ceremony. Everybody got worried but he pacified them.

No one could believe him, but the next night after finishing his prayer he spoke to God saying: O' God, you have promised to attend to the call of the needy and now that I am traveling to the Hereafter, please help me since I am in need. Then he recited some holy words and passed away next to his prayer mat. They buried both of my grandparents in the same grave. I saw him in a dream one night and asked him where they were. He said that he and his wife stayed where they were buried for three days, and then they were taken to the Master of the Martyrs Husayn (Pbuh). Then he said they now have a pleasant life in the divine atmosphere of Purgatory.

An Amazing Event

I became really fond of religious life, the mosques and religious ceremonies during my childhood and adolescence after witnessing my father's religious states of mind and his encounters with men of letters, mosques and religious ceremonies. During the era of the ungodly rule (the Shah's regime), a percentage of the people, especially the youth, were corrupt. Going to religious centers and my interaction with clergymen was very beneficial for me and the development of my spirit. Based on the background that I received from the family, the mosque and the religious clergy, I was attracted towards the religious centers in Qum at the age of sixteen in the year 1963 AD. There, I naturally had more encounters with religious knowledge and the men of the cloth. I had the opportunity to visit with many outstanding successful men during my studies of Islamic sciences.

I do not remember whom I heard this amazing story from, but the story is very interesting and educational showing the mental and spiritual states of a woman when her existence is combined with faith, good deeds and morality. That noble man told me: The Gohar Shad Mosque next to the Holy Shrine of Imam Reza (Pbuh) is one of the most widely frequented mosques on the earth where thousands of prayers and pilgrimages are performed each day. And tens of classes for teaching Islamic sciences and training religious clergy are held there. The founder of this mosque was an educated, wise, chaste and noble woman. Before building the mosque, she ordered the architect and those in charge to place water and hay along the path of the animals who were to carry the building materials to the mosque. This was so that none of the animals would have to carry any load while hungry or thirsty, since it is not accepted by God and one's conscience. And their owners did not have the right to beat the animals.

The work schedule had to be clearly defined, the workers had to be treated with compassion and kindness and their wages had to be paid according to their efforts. When they needed to be admonished, it had to be done so in a gentle tone and no one's feelings were to be hurt. The surrounding houses had to be purchased according to their current market prices, since a place of worship was to be built and a center for pilgrimage as well as a school for the discussion of divine sciences. The lady admonished everyone not to oppress any man or animal in the least amount, since that would lessen the value of the work done.

The Commander of the Faithful Ali (Pbuh) said in Nahj ul-Balaghah: Truly, you are all responsible for pieces of land and the animals.

Lady Gohar Shad used to visit the mosque to check the progress of the work and issue the necessary orders. Gohar Shad was the wife of Shahrukh Mirza and the daughter-in-law of Taymor Gurkany. By chance, during one of these visits one of the workers saw her face and fell in love with her, but he did not dare express his feelings since the condition seemed dangerous. This affection was a ridiculous affair, but that naive worker did not understand these things and fell ill. From the daily mosque work report Lady Gohar Shad became informed of his illness: he lived with his mother in a half-ruined house. She went to visit him. In a weak state, the poor man was pale and waning out of his love for her. After she asked about his health and insisted on finding out the reason for his illness, his mother, who was even more naive then the son, divulged the secret.

Lady Gohar Shad complained to the mother about the young worker without getting angry or using her high social status. Then she told his mother that she was ready to marry him after having separated from her husband, but he must first give her nuptial gift being forty days and nights of worshipping God and prayer in the prayer niche of the semi-built mosque. She was aware of the result of such an effort, but the young fellow accepted her proposal and out of his love and excitement he prayed there for a few days. However, his state of mind changed with God's favor and Imam Reza's attention. After the forty days had passed, Gohar Shad sent a messenger to him to inquire about his health. He told the messenger that if he only knew the pleasure of abstaining from pleasure, he would never call carnal desires pleasure. I heard a passer-by say that wine will get pure when it stays in glasses for forty days. (A poem)

By profitting from belief in God, paying attention to the Hereafter, having good attitudes and proper behavior, we can make our home a place for the manifestation of humane, divine and spiritual virtues. This is not too difficult, and if God helps one he can easily walk on this path, although it may be most difficult for others.

The Material Issues of the House and the Family

O ye people! Eat of what is on earth, lawful and good; and do not follow the footsteps of the Evil One, for he is to you an avowed enemy. [Holy Quran: Baqara 2:168]

The Virtues and Vices of Wealth

A man's need for property and wealth to manage his life's affairs, and especially with the burdensome responsibility of managing a family, is a completely natural need. Wealth and property, business and commerce are not in any way connected with virtue or vice when they are not related to man. For example, iron is a type of property and may be molded into many shapes. Many tools are made from it, but until man gains control over it, it is simply a material having no benefits and no evilness. Iron is beneficial when managed by a polite, dignified and noble believer. When iron falls into the hands of a rude, forgetful, lustful rogue, it becomes an evil material.

When Ibn Muljam had a sword, he could kill the Imam of the Lovers- Imam Ali (Pbuh) in the mosque. Thus, he became the worst of all people and this can be traced back to his bad spirit: And this damage is irreplaceable. When Imam Ali (Pbuh) had a sword he established and spread guidance: the reward of one time of stabbing as the Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) says is superior to the all of the worship of the genie and Adam. One stroke of the sword on the day of the Battle of Khandag is superior to all the worship of the Quran and the Prophet's Household.

For those adorned with divine etiquette and the Lovers of God, money and commercial goods act as a take-off platform towards Heaven and a means for acquiring His Mercy and Blessings and attaining an eternal and great reward. Truly, wealth is the commerce for heavenly trade for believers who are noble, kind, generous, compassionate and have divine ethics. For such people, wealth serves as a vehicle driving them towards God's eternal blessings. And it is a means to obtain the good of this world and the Hereafter. That is why God has called the property of one who has died "his good leftovers" in the blessed chapter of the Quran entitled Baqara. God considers the wealth and property of a believer to be a manifestation of the belief of that believer, his nobility, generosity, mercy and passion. One-third must be spent in a good way according to his will and the remaining two-thirds are to be distributed amongst his inheritors according to the Quranic verses. Imam Sadiq (Pbuh) has said the following in interpretation of a verse in the Quranic chapter Baqara. "Our Lord! Give us good in this world and good in the Hereafter..." (verse 201) The good in the Hereafter is God's Pleasure and Heaven, and the good in this life is a good temper and bountiful daily bread. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.71, p.383]

Thus, we can conclude that the believers wealth and property are similar to a factory in which God's Pleasure and a musk-scented Heaven are produced. Believers earn their income through legitimate business transactions, abiding by the law and avoiding unlawful transactions. In short, they earn money through continuous lawful transactions and by obeying God. They spend their income for the expenses of their household, paying the alms-tax and the one-fifth levy. They spend the rest to help the deprived, the oppressed, the weak and to aid relatives and friends. Spending legitimately earned income in these ways is natural and lawful and is in fact considered to be worship and obedience: Or as the Holy Quran has said - It is the good of this world and the Hereafter.

It is for this reason that wealth and property has been interpreted to be good and blessed in God's Book. Earning and spending it is considered to be worship for the believers and a cause of great reward and infinite divine gifts. It is interesting to hear the viewpoint of the Commander of the Faithful (Imam Ali) about wealth in the hands of irreligious, lustful people: Property is the material of lust, is subject to catastrophes, strengthens aspirations and entertains the inheritors. Wealth will raise the status of the owner in this world and lower it in the Hereafter. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.9, pp.277-78]

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: Gold and silver destroyed those before you and will destroy you, too. [Ibid]

He also said: For each nation there is a calf and for this nation the calf is silver and gold. [Ibid] (the calf refers to the golden calf idol made by the Israelites). Truly, wealth enslaves those of weak faith with illegitimate lusts and excitement of their aspirations. They become base in this world and in the Hereafter, and as the Prophet of Islam (Pbuh) has commented: people began to worship the calf in the form of the worship of wealth.

The Forbidden and the Unforbidden

Undoubtedly, whatever a person earns from working and from his business affairs is lawful. Concerning lawful earnings, God has issued many orders and the Prophet's Household has completely described the religiously legal ways to earn money. Any money gained in illegal ways such as bribery, usurpation, theft, deceit, looting and usury is illegal. Whoever tries to make lawful money is worshipping God and God will reward him. Whoever tries to illegally make money is sinning and God will punish and curse him. If one makes money illegally and does not listen to anybody's advice saying God has desired so, then he has insulted God, speaks satanically and has lied.

There are many Quranic verses stating God has provided lawful daily bread for everyone. The Quran invites everyone to make a lawful daily living and has given no illegal earnings to anyone, since thinking in the wrong way causes one to make illegal money. Saying that God allows forbidden actions is an insult and a great sin which will cause one to be punished on the Day of Judgment.

Man's intellect dictates that it is illogical to say God gives illegal provisions to man, but rather He has placed emphasis on benefiting from lawful and completely legally earned money. It is paradoxical for God to give illegal earnings to man and there are no paradoxes concerning God. Stupid people foolishly and ignorantly insult God. Imam Baqir (Pbuh) has stated: God has ordered all men to make a lawful living. This money will cause man to be healthy. It is not God's fault that some make an illegal living: The forbidden way to earn a living is not the Right Way. Satan is the designer of the forbidden ways to make money. If one illegally makes money, his lawful daily bread will be lessened to the same extent. If we consider lawful and legal means of earning money, God respects us a lot. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.5, p.147]

Don't Deprive Yourself of the Lawful Things

Imam Ali (Pbuh) entered the mosque and told a man to keep an eye on his camel. The man stole the camel's bit in Imam Ali's (Pbuh) absence. When Imam Ali (Pbuh) came out of the mosque to pay the man two Durham's (coins), he saw his camel without the bit. He gave the money to his servant and asked him to go and buy a bit. The servant went and bought the same bit from the thief without knowing who he was and took it to the Imam (Pbuh). When he saw the bit the Imam said that a servant deprives himself of lawful daily bread due to his impatience, but he does not get more than is determined for him by God. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.4, p.123]

Provide Your Family's Needs Through Lawful Means

There is a sequence of outward and inward effects for using lawful or unlawfully obtained property, and no one can avoid them. Lawful goods result in the pleasure of God, spirituality, energy to worship, pacification of the heart and the curing of illnesses. However, the opposite holds true for the unlawful goods. The necessity of providing for the family by the man of the house is one of the most important issues in Islamic jurisprudence and is extensively discussed in the Holy Quran and traditions of the Prophet's Household. As much as possible, a man is religiously bound to provide housing, food, clothing and transportation for his wife and children.

In addition to this, the man is required to obtain his family's expenses through lawful means. The man of the house should whole-heartedly thank God for these two requirements. By attending to the needs of the family, moral realities will blossom. By working to obtain lawful income which is similar to a Holy War (Jihad) in God's way, man can get a lot of divine rewards. The heavenly and positive effects of using lawfully obtained goods will appear in the family, and this will substantially aid mental and spiritual peace and security for the family.

The Prophet of Islam and Lawfully Obtained Food

Consider the following tradition. A man came to the Prophet (Pbuh) with a bowl of milk and asked him to break his fast with the milk. The Prophet (Pbuh) asked him who had sent the milk. The man said it was a gift from a woman and the Prophet (Pbuh) told him to return with the milk and ask her where she had got it from. So the man went to the woman’s house to ask her. The woman said she had obtained it from her own sheep. The man returned to the Prophet (Pbuh ) to tell him. He was told to return and ask her where she had got the sheep from. He returned to ask her and she replied she had bought the sheep by working hard. The man returned to the Prophet (Pbuh ) and explained. Then the Prophet (Pbuh ) said he would break his fast with the milk. The following day the owner of the milk came to him and asked the reason for returning the milk several times. He said God the Almighty had ordered the Prophets to partake of only lawfully obtained food. This must be a lesson for all Muslim people to pay enough attention to the issue of what is lawful and unlawful, so that they do not pick up a burden which is either too difficult or impossible to bear. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: Seeking the lawful is obligatory for each Muslim man and woman [Bihar al-Anwar, v.103, p.719; Mizan-al-Hikmat, v.4, p.119]

Seeking the lawful is obligatory for each Muslim. [Ibid]

Seeking the lawful is a form of Jihad (Holy War). [Ibid]

The gates of Heaven are open to anyone who obtains lawful food through hard work, and he can enter Heaven from any gate he wishes.[Ibid]

There are ten parts to worship. One is seeking the lawful.[Ibid]

Imam Reza (Pbuh) said: The reward of one who seeks his daily bread from God's Grace to provide for his family's needs is greater than that of the one who fights in God's way. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.78, p.339]

Imam Baqir (Pbuh) said: Whoever seeks worldly goods to protect his family, and to be kind to his neighbors will meet God in Heaven with his face shining like a full moon. [Vasa'il al-Shiaa  ,v.12, p.11]

The sixth Imam (Pbuh) said: There is no good in one who is not interested in saving money to protect his honor and pay back his debts. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.103, p.7]

The Prophet (Pbuh ) said: The one who falls asleep at night being tired from hard work because of seeking the lawful, is forgiven his sins by God. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.103, p.2]

God likes to see His servant working hard to seek the lawful. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.4, p.119]

In the traditions it is stated the increase or decrease in one's daily bread is simply a test for God's servants to obtain a holy rank from God. The woman who is patient in the face of shortage of her daily bread, does not commit any sins to obtain more, and is grateful for the increase of her daily bread has successfully passed the test. [Nahj-ul-Balaghah, Sermon 91].

A believer does not become base in the face of shortage of his daily bread, and does not get drunk when his daily bread increases. He is content with the low amount of his daily bread; and when his daily bread increases, he eats, feeds others and rushes to pay the necessary dues.

How to Increase One's Daily Bread

There are some ways in the Holy Quran and the Prophetic traditions to increase one's daily bread, which will also improve people's morality and affection in the family and the society. The Commander of the Faithful (Pbuh) said: Good temper is the treasure of daily bread. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.77, p.389]

To be too strict spoils your temper, and to go easy on others increases your daily bread. [Mizan AI-Hikmah, v.4, p.117]

Co-operation and helping your Muslim brothers increases your daily bread. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.74, p.395]

Being trustworthy increases one's daily bread. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.75, p.172]

Imam Sadiq (Pbuh) said: One who treats his wife and children kindly will get an increase in his daily bread. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.69, p.407]

Good deeds increase one's daily bread. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.74, p.81]

Good temper increase one's daily bread. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.71, p.396]

Imam Ali (Pbuh) said: Attract your daily bread to yourself through charity to others. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.78, p.60]

Imam Baqir (Pbuh) said: Pray for your brothers and this act will bring in your daily bread. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.76, p.60]

The Fifth Imam (Pbuh) said: Giving alms will increase your daily bread. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.66, p.15]

The Commander of the Faithful (Pbuh) said: The daily bread of one with good intentions will be increased. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.103, p.21]

Unlawful Property

The Prophet (Pbuh ) said: God said, If one does not care how and where he gets his money from, I do not care by which gate I will let him enter into Hell in the Hereafter. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.103, p.11]

God will make the one who earns unlawful money poor. Whatever one earns unlawfully becomes provisions for the Hell Fire. Wealth from which religious dues are not paid is considered to be property containing unlawful property. Its use is not allowable and giving it to the family or others is another wrong act. The Commander of the Faithful (Pbuh) said: The worst property is that from which God's dues have not been paid. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.9, p.308]

Imam Baqir (Pbuh) said: There are people who shall leave their graves with their hands tied to their necks, lacking any power to get anything - even as much as an ant can. They are seriously blamed by the angels saying: These are people upon whom God bestowed wealth but they did not pay God's dues. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.7, p.197]

Imam Hassan Mujtaba (Pbuh) said: One of the signs of generosity is to legally earn your property. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.103, p.6]

O' dear brothers who are responsible for the financial expenses of your family and their spiritual training, and also you who shall marry later: your wife and children only deserve their rightful dues. However, they are not responsible for your job or business, and will not accept the responsibility for unlawful property which you brought home and they knew nothing about. The punishment in Hell for unlawful property is for the one who earns it. There are two punishments: one for earning unlawful property and the other is for giving it to others. Then be content with lawful property given by God, and be careful about how you earn your income. Avoid obtaining unlawful property and pay the lawful dues, so that you can prosper in this world and in the Hereafter.

One Who Repents is Loved by God

During a visit to Mashhad, I met a man one night at the time of the call to prayers. It seemed he had known me for many years. He asked me to accompany him to his residence, so after a few minutes of talking I accepted his invitation even though that was the first time I had met him. Then I found out that he was one of the people who had attended my lectures during the mourning ceremonies in the months of Muharram and Saffar. He knew me but I did not know him. I asked who he was from one who had accompanied him when he left us for a few minutes. I recognized him when the man told me his name. When he was younger, he was a man who was strong and brutish, so much so that the strongest men of Tehran were afraid of him. His activities included taking bribes from the casinos and banks, smuggling and distributing wine. No one in Tehran could confront him. He had earned a lot of wealth unlawfully.

God guided him and his conscience bothered him. His pure nature and his intellect brought him down from his previous position. He then converted all his property into cash and put it all in a suitcase. Immediately he went to Qum to meet the Grand Ayatullah Boroojerdy. The noble Shiite authority kindly accepted him when he was informed about that man’s past. The man told the Ayatullah that what was in the suitcase was all absolutely unlawfully earned. He said he could not bear the reckoning on the Day of Judgment and asked the Ayatullah to relieve him of this heavy burden. The Ayatullah told him that if he really wanted to repent he should take off his outer garments and return to Tehran wearing just his pajamas. The man took off his clothes, and the Shiite authority was really impressed.

Boroojerdy found his repentance to be a serious one, returned his clothes, paid him five thousand Tumans from his personal property, and gave him the good news of a brilliant future. The repenter returned to Tehran with that lawfully earned money. He quit all his past deeds and started to work with his new capital. He settled down, really changed, and guided his wife and children towards the Right Path. He then founded one of the most fruitful religious meetings in Tehran.

At the end of his life in 1992A.D., he talked to Imam Husayn (Pbuh) while he was crying one Friday night a few minutes before he died. He said: I spent most of my life in your service, and now I hope I can gain your favor. His wife and children said that suddenly he stared at the corner of the room, respectfully greeted Imam Husayn (Pbuh) and passed away with a smile on his face.

Thus everyone can repent. Repentance will purify one's soul, illuminate one's heart, improve one's temper, cleanse one's wealth and all aspects of life of impurity. Why not benefit by repenting and spend the rest of your life moving from darkness into light? Let's repent since God loves those who repent and it is not worth the whole world to stay sinful.

For God loves those who turn to him constantly...[Holy Quran: Baqara 2:222]

The Prophet (Pbuh ) said: There is nothing dearer to God than a believing man or woman who repents. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.1, pp.540-541]

I swear to God, God is more pleased with one who repents than a man who is pleased when he gets his food. [Ibid]

God is more pleased with the repentance of his servants, than an infertile man who becomes a father, or one who has lost something and finds it, and one whose thirst is quenched by water. [Ibid]

One who repents is just like one who has never committed any sin. [Ibid]

Repenting will purify the soul and wash away the sins. [Ibid]

Repentance actually has consequences which the Prophet of Islam (Pbuh ) has pointed out. One can be sure of the acceptance of his repentance if these consequences are manifested. If not one must repent again. If the consequences of repentance do not show up, then the repentance is not accepted. The consequences of repentance include gaining the satisfaction of those involved; performing undone prayers; humbleness with people; protecting the soul against lust; and losing weight through fasting. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.6, pp.35-36]

The Commander of the Faithful (Pbuh) said: Repentance holds the uppermost place in Heaven, and consists of six parts:

1- Regretting the past

2- Determination to stop sinning in the future

3- Returning people's rights to them

4- Performing undone duties

5- Losing all the weight gained during the period of sinning

6- Exposing the body to the trouble of worship, and asking for God's forgiveness [Ibid]

 

The Principles of Spirituality in the Family

Help ye one another in righteousness and piety, but help ye not one another in sin and rancour: Fear God: [Holy Quran: Maida 5:3]

Spiritual Blessings

Many blessings have been bestowed upon man by God to live a pure life, and only God knows the value of these blessings. Some of these blessings left for us are the intellect, the Quran, Prophethood, Imamat, religious scholars and the literature on practical, moral and religious issues. We will briefly discuss the meaning of each of these blessings for the readers' information.

Intellect

Intellect means the power to understand, to theoretically distinguish between right and wrong and practically understand the difference between good and evil, and profit and loss. This unique blessing is equipped with the outer senses by which it can recognize the appearance of things. It is also equipped with spiritual senses by which it recognizes spiritual affairs such as will, love, hatred, hope and fear. And it uses each accordingly. In theoretical issues the intellect makes practical decisions. The illuminating activities of the intellect continue as long as it is the outstanding force in man; other forces being subject to it. However, should another force within man overpower the intellect, it becomes weak and man will deviate from the right path going to either extreme. This deviation towards either extreme in our life is the result of lust, anger, or greed overpowering the intellect. Letting loose the instincts and following lust, meeting with the sinful ones and disregarding realities are all factors which weaken and disable the heavenly force and angelic light of the intellect. Once the intellect is disabled, it is either too difficult or impossible to distinguish between right and wrong, and recognize spiritual realities. Then man deserves to be at a loss in this world and suffer retribution in the Hereafter, even if he mischievously gains a lot of financial property, or remains secure from apparent losses. [Adopted from an article in Al-Mizan, v.2, pp.447-450]

The directors of Hell say to those there: Didn't a Prophet come to you to inform you about your present situation? The inhabitants of Hell will say: Yes, but we denied him and God's laws. Then they will tell the directors of Hell: If we had listened to the call of God in the world and the invitation of the Prophet (Pbuh) and had thought about what we were doing in all daily affairs, then today we would not be the inhabitants of Hell: It is impossible to reason if there is no other power holding first place in one's being. If lust and satisfaction of one's lust does all the talking in you, the intellect will not be empowered to guide man. It was asked of Hazrat Sadiq: What is the intellect? He answered: It is something with which God is worshipped and heaven attained! [Bihar al-Anwar, v.1, p.131]

It was asked what did Muaviyah have? He said he had cunningness, wickedness and something which resembled the intellect but was not the intellect. What great blessings are bestowed upon the true servant of God and make him a buyer of Heaven? Amir al-Mumineen Ali (Pbuh) said: The will and high ambition of the intellect manifests itself in man through the abandoning of sins and reforming the apparent and hidden mistakes. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.6, p.419]

The enlightenment of these blessings is so great that Ali (Pbuh) said: Had God, the Almighty not forbade us from doing the unlawful acts, the intellect would forbid us from doing them. [Ibid]

Imam Ali's (Pbuh) opinion is that this spiritual faculty, the intellect, possesses great powers of understanding. In the noble book entitled Ghorar al-Hikam the Commander of the Faithful has been quoted as saying the following about the intellect: The intelligent person is one who can overcome his lust; not trade in the Hereafter for this world; rebel sagainst his carnal desires; obeys the Lord; and is in full command of himself at times of anger. The ethics of the intelligent ones is to have little lust and little ignorance. [Ghorar al-Hikam, Chapter on the intellect]

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: All good is attained via the intellect and one who lacks intelligence lacks religion. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.77, p.158]

In many important traditions we can read that man's prosperity or punishment in the Hereafter depends upon his/her intelligence as it is the intellect which is the measure for responsibility and duties. It is incumbent upon man to use his intellect in order to face reality and recognize the difference between good and evil, and truth and falsehood. It is an unforgivable sin to not use the intellect. As the intellect is the lantern of truth, a divine prophet within and the essential element to distinguish truth from falsehood, and good from evil, it is incumbent upon the head of the household to protect the intellect from the inrush of lust, desires, instincts and corruption. He should use his intelligence and not let his intellect or that of his family become enslaved by carnal desires and excessive lust, since the loss of the intellect's control will pull man down from his rank as a human to the rank of an animal.

Therefore you should not associate with corrupt people, but rather associate with the lofty Islamic principles.

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: The disciples asked Jesus whom they should associate with. Jesus replied: The ones whose encounter shall remind you of God, whose speech shall add to your knowledge and whose actions shall attract you to the Hereafter. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.77, p.147]

The fourth Imam said: Association with good-doers attracts man towards good deeds. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.78, p.141]

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: Association with credible, wise men shall direct you from five states to five other states:

1) from doubt to certainty; 2) from hypocrisy to sincerity ;3) from undue excitement to fear ;4) from haughtiness to humbleness ;5) from wickedness to benevolence [Bihar al-Anwar, v.74, p.189]

The Commander of the Faithful said: The gatherings of the evil-doers are not safe from catastrophes. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.2, p.63]

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: Avoid associating with the dead. They asked him who are the dead? He replied any rich person whose wealth has caused him to rebel. [Ibid]

Imam Ali (Pbuh) said: Avoid the evil-doers and associate with good people .[Ibid]

Guard yourselves and the family against lust and association with the evil-doers if you want your intellect to rule over you. Two of the widespread evils of today are the corrupt films and videos of the satellite channels. Watching such programs will corrupt the intellect, destroy morality, and wipe out humanity.

Quran

The Quran is a divine book, being the light of guidance and the cure for the soul of moral evils; a guide towards better life; a remembrance of God; and an interpreter of realities and an organizers of the affairs. It is a source of guidance and a producer of knowledge and wisdom; a cure for hard-heartedness; the straight path; the criteria to distinguish truth from falsehood; the statement of high moral issues and the manifestation of the life of the good and the pure; and God's final say in this world and the Hereafter. Both men and women are equally responsible and duty-bound to this unique divine blessing. This duty is to learn the Quran and acting accordingly in all facets of life.

Indifference to God's book is a great sin. The Quran is God's letter to his servants : The servants are obliged to respond to this letter by being adorned by the right belief through their hearts, enacting out their morals via their souls and turning to good deeds via their bodies. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: Seek refuge in the Quran when you are attacked by vices as the darkness of the night attacks you. And repel the attack by enacting out the orders of the Quran in your life and do not let your lives be darkened by the rule of wickedness. The Quran is a mediation whose mediation is accepted at God's threshold and whose complaint is also accepted. Whoever lets the Quran lead him or her shall attain Heaven through its blessing. And whoever is indifferent to God's book is heading towards Hell. The Quran is the reason for and a guide towards the best path. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.92, p.17]

The Commander of the Faithful said: The Quran is the best remembrance, and courage and spiritual enlightenment are attained with it. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.8, pp.67-69]

Imam Sadiq said: Whose does not recognize the truth from the Holy Quran, does not avoid sedition. [Ibid]

Ali (Pbuh) said: In fact, the book of God the Glorious, and the Almighty contains the best stories in the most fluent speech and the most beneficial admonishment. [Ibid]

In fact, the remedy for the worst ailments being unbelief, hypocrisy, and deviation is in the Quran. [Nahj ul-Balaghah, Sermon 176]

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: The Quran is wealth and there is no wealth other than it and there is no poverty after it. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.92, p.19]

Imam Sadiq said: A believer deserves not to die until he learns the Quran and teaches it. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.92, p.189]

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: The best of you is one who learns the Quran and teaches it. Thus, considering these very important traditions, one can more clearly see the heavy responsibility of the head of the household. He must learn the Quran, and provide the means for his family members to learn it. Then they can all act according to it. Their living atmosphere will be cleansed from impurities and be adorned with good deeds and characters. And the house and the family will be a sample of Heaven. It will be a house in which there is no oppression or animosity; one filled with piety and purity; an atmosphere of security and comfort, truth and honesty, righteousness and trust. A house whose members are followers of the Quran will attain mental and intellectual development from the blessings of the Quran. An intellect which follows the Holy Quran is an angelic intellect; it is the essential ingredient for Heaven and the Hereafter, and its profit is the worship of God and the achievement of the eternal Heaven.

Prophethood

The Prophets are guides for men towards the straight path, invitors to the unity of God, and the expressors of physical and spiritual reality. They invite us to worship God, and they admonish us not to worship the ungodly. They show men the way to live a good life, to be adorned with virtue and to be cleansed from iniquity. The invitation of the Prophets is inviting us to God. Accepting their invitation will result in the revival of spiritual life. Regarding the Prophethood of the honorable Prophet, Ali (Pbuh) has said: He came to guide the servants of God away from the worship of idols to God's worship, and away from obeying Satan to obeying God. [Nahj ul-Balaghah, Sermon 147]

The Prophet (Pbuh) was appointed to recite the verses of God for the development of the people, the cleansing of their souls from impurities, and for teaching the Quran and wisdom. He uprose to take the people out of darkness, and to help them enter a region of light. He came into the arena of life to command us to do good deeds. Admonish us against evil acts; to allow us to use lawful and clean goods; to forbid evilness; and to lift off the burden of forced cultures; and to open the satanic neckbands. Those who believe in him, respect and honor him, help him and obey His Quran shall prosper.[A Summary of Verses on Prophethood in the Holy Quran]

The Prophets came to bring God's final say so that tomorrow on the Day of Judgment the deviated ones could not say that if they had a Prophet, they would not have been deviated. God the Kind has made the acts, the statements and the morality of the Prophets necessary for all the people. And has made the Prophets a model to follow. Among the behaviors of the Prophets, we can mention the use of perfume, having a happy face, cleanliness, liking women, establishing prayer, uprising for the rights of the believers, kindness and generosity. The Prophets have invited the people to piety, purity, trustworthiness, honesty, bravery, loyalty, righteousness, truth, kindness, mercy and good deeds; and have admonished them against committing any evil acts and having a bad temper. In the Hereafter they are the criteria for action. The condition of the people will be measured based upon their condition. If there is sufficient coordination between them and the Prophets, they will be saved, else they deserve punishment.

Leadership

In order to complete His blessing, and perfect His religion, God appointed the Commander of the Faithful and the twelve Imams who followed him to their posts. This was done so that the people would stay on the Straight Path of their Prophet by following the Quran and the members of the Prophet’s Household, and never face deviation. Even though the noble Imams themselves suffered from the ungodly government and the deviated people, they never stopped expressing what was right, ordering the people to do good deeds, admonishing them against iniquities, and praying for what was divinely guided to help man's spiritual development. They fully delivered God's religion to the people with their actions, conduct, sayings and martyrdom. On the Day of Judgment the Imams are also the criteria like the Prophets are. If the people's lives are in accordance with theirs, then they shall be saved or else they will be condemned to divine punishment.

Religious Scholars

The Prophets and the Imams are Allah’s authority for the people: Likewise are the jurisprudents, the experts of divine knowledge and those familiar with the traditions and the Holy Quran. It is incumbent upon the people to follow such religious scholars after the Prophets and the Imams. Such obeyance is like following the Imams and the Prophets and a cause for prosperity. The head of the household should allocate some time to make his family familiar with the Quran, the Prophethood, the leadership and the following of the jurisprudents. As this theoretical and practical supplication should cause good in this world and the Hereafter. Disregarding the intellect and separation from the Quran, ignoring the Prophethood, the leadership and the scholars is harmful. The family must help the father in this regard, should thank him for this beneficial program and become reasonably acquainted with divine facts.

If the head of the household is not strong in these areas, then the family members should encourage him to do so. They should ask him to provide the necessary means for this. If he disagrees, they should politely disobey him and, they themselves should try to learn about the Quran. the Prophet, the Immaculate Imams, and the religious scholars so that they may prosper. The head of the household should fill the atmosphere of the house with the recital of the Quran, prayers, supplications, and God's remembrance. Thus, he can combine this world and the Hereafter, and will create a blessed ending for all members of the family.

Prayers

It is not obligatory for the head of the household to only say his prayers. He is also responsible to gently direct the members of his family by advising and encouraging them.

Enjoin prayer on the people, and be constant therein. We ask thee not to provide sustenance: We provide it for thee. But the (fruit of) the Hereafter is for Righteousness. [Holy Quran: Ta-Ha: 20:132]

We read in the Quran that one of the attributes of Abraham was that he invited his wife and children to prayer.

It is We Who will inherit the earth, and all beings thereon: to Us will they all be returned. [Holy Quran: Maryam 19:40]

And we also read in the Quran that Abraham requested God that he himself and his progeny establish prayer till the Day of Judgment.

O my Lord! make me one who establishes regular prayer, and also (raise such) among my offspring [Holy Quran: Abraham 14:40]

In many traditions the Prophet (Pbuh) has called prayer the apple of his eye. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.77, p.77]

The Sixth Imam stated: There is nothing other than prayer which can be compared to knowledge. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.69, p.206]

Imam Ali said: I instruct you to say your prayers which is the best act and the pillar of religion. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.72, p.209]

The Glorious Quran recognizes the prayer to be what keeps man from evil inwardly and outwardly.

For prayer restrains from shameful and unjust deeds; [Holy Quran: Ankabut: 29:45]

Hazrat Baqir said: The first affair of a human which will be judged on the Day of Judgment is prayer. If his prayers are accepted, the rest of his actions will be accepted.

Negligence of prayers, or quitting to perform this great worship will cause us to lose the possibility of the mediation of the Prophet (Pbuh) on our behalf; It will also be a cause of bankruptcy in the Hereafter; losing the possibility of benefiting from God's Mercy. and never being allowed to enter Heaven.[Bihar al-Anwar, v.83, pp.9-19]

They will say:

We were not of those who prayed. [Holy Quran, Muddaththir 74:43]

Do not forget about your prayers and that of your family members, so that on the Day of Judgment you do not have to answer to the complaints against you made by your family members. They may tell God that if we were called to say our prayers, we would have accepted. The fact that our file is void of prayers is at first the fault of our husband and father, then it is our own fault. Since he was indifferent to us, we neglected our prayers. O' God, please take our revenge, damn him and let him suffer double our torture. Children are wonderful imitators. They mimic the states, actions and behavior of adults. If we pray, they pray. If we fast, they fast. If we recite the Quran, and are pleasant, kind and polite, then they follow us in all these respects, and after a while get used to doing so.

It has been stated in a very important tradition that Jesus passed by a grave in which the person who buried there was being tortured. The next year he passed by the same grave. He noticed that the person was no longer being tortured, so he asked God the reason for this. Then a revelation came down to Jesus that the man had a good child who had reconstructed a road and had provided shelter for an orphan. For the good deeds of his offspring, We forgave him. [Vasa'il, Al-i-Bayt Press, v.16. p.338]

Raising good children who are religious and do good deeds is good for this world and beneficial for the Hereafter. Try to benefit from this fact.

Responsibilities of the Head of the Household

O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who flinch not (from executing) the Commands they receive from God, but do (precisely) what they are commanded. [Holy Quran: Tahrim 66: 6]

 

Protect Yourself and Your Family From the Fire of Hell

A verse in chapter Tahrim places an extremely heavy responsibility on the head of household. If all the people, especially those responsible for their wife and children, paid close attention to this verse, then a large portion of family problems would be solved. There would be no more tension or insecurity in the house and all things would get settled easily.

 O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who flinch not (from executing) the Commands they receive from God, but do (precisely) what they are commanded. [Holy Quran: Tahrim 66: 6]

It is the responsibility of the head of the household to guide his family members towards unity, faith in the Hereafter, fear of God's punishment, piety, Islamic behavior; and to provide the means for their development, education and training. Hence he shall protect them from the torture of the Hereafter. Take note that the Quran says that men are the fuel for the Fire of Hell in the above verse. It is clearly understood from the Holy Quran that the roots of the torture in the Hereafter are sins; and the nature of crimes and their punishment is the same. As opposed to crimes in this world which have a different form of punishment, like demanding fines for driving rule violations; in the Herafter crimes are human acts, but their fine is not financial. The nature of property and action is different; however, in the order of the Creator, the nature of crimes and punishment is the same. This means that the penalty for a criminal in the Hereafter is the crime itself which shall blaze out of the criminal like fire. When man commits any crime, be it a criminal action, a financial crime, a moral or spiritual crime, he has accepted the fire, which will appear and burn him in the Hereafter. Many people commit lots of sins for much of their lives and leave no part of their body pure from committing sins. In fact they have stored up much fire within themselves. This fire shall physically appear in the Hereafter when the curtains are drawn aside and the unseen becomes visible, and it shall enslave its owner forever. Please note the following two verses from the Glorious Quran.

Those who conceal God's revelations in the Book, and purchase for them a miserable profit, - they swallow into themselves naught but Fire; God will not address them on the Day of Resurrection, nor purify them: grievous will be their penalty. [Holy Quran: Baqara: 2:174]

Those who unjustly eat up the property of orphans, eat up a Fire into their own bodies: they will soon be enduring a blazing Fire! [Holy Quran: Nisaa: 4:10]

In both verses, eating what is unlawfully earned is known as eating the fire. Although it looks like a delicious bite today; it will show its inherent nature as fire in the Hereafter. There are the words of the Glorious Existence which has willed and created the beings, the Jinns, the angels, the heavens, and men and women. He is the one who sees sins as being fire while we see a bad act as being a pleasant one. He sees the Fire of Hell blazing brightly while we do not even feel the heat. In the Hereafter, fire shall blaze from the eyes for looking at forbidden scenes; the ears for listening to forbidden sounds; the tongues for swearing, gossiping or vain talk; the stomach for eating what is unlawfully earned; from the lust for fornication, masturbating or gay acts; the hands for oppressing, cheating, deceit, forging signatures, corrupt writing; and feet for going to forbidden parties. The owner of these body parts shall suffer tortures from which he cannot escape.

O' heads of the households, protect your family and yourself from such a fire which is a result of committing sins. Adhere to divine piety in all aspects of life. Do not let this life's few days of temporary pleasure, or wealth which may be lost, cause you to suffer from eternal torture in Hell, whose fuel is man himself. Stone is one of the materials which can burn. You all know coal is a hard substance with high heat production capability, and a long burning time. For millions of years, rocks and lava have been burning at a high pressure such that at times they appear as a volcano. The flowing lava will burn and destroy everything in its path. This fire does not end, and as noted by the Holy Quran, it will cover all the earth, and put aflame all the seas.

When the oceans boil over with a swell; [Holy Quran: Takwir: 81:6]

This is a fact which scientists have now discovered. One day in the future, the earth will turn into a ball of fire.

One day the Earth will be changed to a different Earth, [Holy Quran: Abraham 14:48]

Thus considering the internal conditions of the Earth being a sea of molten rocks and lava, and the future of the Earth as a ball of fire, we can better understand the traditions which state that Hell and all its stages exist here on Earth. On that day, men and rocks will be the fuel for the fire. The combustible materials in the Earth are the rocks and the lava which may become eternal if God wills, as man which can become eternal if He wills. Then the family and its head should pay close attention to the following divine words.

O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire .... [Holy Quran: Tahrim 66: 6]

It is not easy to deal with the fire managers being angry angels. The residents of Hell are weak and there is no escape for them. Base people have a base place in Hell. The Hell that is on this Earth, whose fuel is rocks and men, whose managers are angry and harsh, whose torture is all-encompassing, burdensome, burning and ever-lasting. The residents of Hell neither die nor do they have a desirable life.

In which they will then neither die nor live. [Holy Quran: A'la 87:13]

A Scented Heaven

When the head of the household encourages his family members to do their obligatory religious duties, and abstain from doing physical, financial or moral wrong acts, then he has saved himself and his family from the Fire of Hell. Their road towards heaven will be paved. The Heaven which is near the lote-tree, its width being similar to that of the Earth and all the heavens.

Near the lote-tree beyond which none may pass:Near it is the Garden of Abode. [Holy Quran: Najm: 53:14-15]

It is clear that the above verse points out to a vast universe, so vast that the divine Heaven which is the same width as the Earth and all the heavens is a part of it. The Holy Quran instructs all people to become adorned with faith, good deeds and a good temper; and rush towards Heaven:

Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Garden whose width is that (of the whole) of the heavens and of the Earth, prepared for the righteous, [Holy Quran: Al-i-Imran: 3:133]

Dear readers, beware that sins are savings which you take with you to Hell, while faith, worship and serving the people are savings which you take with you to Heaven. Protect yourselves and the family members from saving for Hell, and encourage them to put things aside for Heaven. Your responsibility as the head of the household is a heavy one. Take the Prophet (Pbuh) as a model for your behavior with your wife, children and servants. Then you may be secure from the torture of the Hereafter, and may reach the eternal blessing of God, being the lote-tree leaves. The Prophet (Pbuh) was the best husband and father. He did not go to any extremes in kindness, love and affection, actions and behavior and was moderate in all respects. He was friendly and kind with them, and also admonished them regarding their religious duties, God's worship and the fear of the punishment of the Hereafter. He treated women as women, and acted like a child when he was dealing with children. He was a light of guidance and an example of politeness, nobility, morality, belief in the unity of God, and God's worship.

Four Important Duties

Several important duties of the head of the household have been mentioned in what follows. These help protect the family members from the fire.

1- Invite them to obey God. The head of the household should invite all members of his family to obey God's orders which are issued to improve our life in this world and the Hereafter. He should invite them in such a manner that it is not difficult for them to follow. It should be said kindly, so that the wife and the children become interested in obeying God, and consider this to be of the highest priority. I have tested this at home and it was useful. You should try it too. I am sure you will benefit from it. When your children start to obey God, you should encourage them, give them a prize, and hug them. Thus they will get used to obeying God. Woman too should readily accept their husband's call to obey God, so that the children learn to obey God.

2- Teach them about their religious duties. The head of the household should teach his family their religious duties, part of which is described in books on Islamic jurisprudence, Islamic ethics and in the practical treatise of Muslim scholars. If he cannot do this himself, he should take them to the mosque and religious ceremonies, or invite religious scholars to his house, so that his family members receive some training about their religious duties. It may be difficult for some people to read, yet understand the practical treaties of Muslim scholars. In this case, the children should be sent to classes so they learn about their religious duties near the time of maturity.

3- Instruct them to avoid doing what is considered to be bad. It is incumbent upon the head of the household to admonish the members of his family against wrongful acts and sins, and to eliminate any grounds for commiting sins at home.

4- Encourage them to do good deeds. It is incumbent upon the head of the household to encourage the members of his family to do good deeds such as charity; humbleness,;respecting the elderly; helping to strengthen people's friendship; saying what is right; seeking what is right; and whatever is considered to be a good deed.

The late Islamic scholar Allameh Majlesi, has said that following these four guidelines is a sure way to protect one and his family from the Fire of Hell. Working for God's pleasure as such is extremely rewarding. When the Prophet (Pbuh) decided to dispatch the Commander of the Faithful to invite the people of Yemen to God's way, he told him: I swear by God that should God guide even just one person through your efforts, it is better for you than whatever the sun sets and rises on. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.21, p.361]

What a good deal, and how profitable a business it is to gain such a reward for guiding the wife and the children by being a good teacher! This reward is in addition to that gained by going to work to earn your living by lawful means. Such heads of household will receive a double reward; one for providing the material necessities of their family members and one for providing the spiritual necessities.

The Rights of Wives and Husbands in Islam

Those are limits set by God: those who obey God and His Apostle will be admitted to Gardens with rivers flowing beneath, to abide therein (forever) and that will be the Supreme achievement. [Holy Quran: Nisaa 4:13]

An Outlook on Family Rights

The rights of wives and husbands are completely described in the Glorious Quran. When studying them one can recognize these mutual rights as being one of the miracles of the pure culture of Islam. No other school of thought has so thoroughly attended to the rights of wives and their husbands until now, and none can do so from now until the end of time. These rights include obligatory and recommended rights. Disrespecting the obligatory rights without the other person's consent is the cause of divine punishment, and not honoring the recommended rights will lessen the sweetness of life. A major portion of these mutual rights are described in Vasa'il al-Shiaa, volumes 20-22, printed by Al-i-Bayt Press. As much as is required, I shall quote traditions from this volume, and instruct my dear readers to carefully read over those volumes.

Firstly, to bless the discussion I shall mention a few Quranic verses related to the matter and then I shall quote the traditions.

I will mislead them, and I will create in them false desires; I will order them to slit the ears of cattle, and to deface the (fair) nature created by God. Whoever, forsaking God, takes Satan for a friend, has of a surety suffered a loss that is manifest. [Holy Quran Nisaa 4:119]

And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable: [Holy Quran: Baqara: 2:228]

And yet they had already covenanted with God not to turn their backs, and a covenant with God must (surely) be answered for. [Holy Quran: Ahzab 33:15]

Isaq, the son of Ammac, said that he had asked Imam Sadiq what right does a woman have whose fulfillment by her husband implies that he is a good doer. The Imam replied that he should feed her properly and provide her with clothing. And when she does something out of ignorance, he should forgive her. Then the Imam said my father had a bothersome wife but he would always forgive her. The sixth Imam quoted the Prophet (Pbuh) as saying: Gabriel recommended on behalf of wives so much so that I thought divorcing her is not permissible unless she commits adultery. He also said good mercy be upon the man who performs all the affairs for himself and his wife well, since God the Almighty has granted to men the control of women, and established the husband as her guardian. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: One who ignores his wife's rights is deprived of God’s Mercy. He also said: The best of you is one who is the best for his family and I am a model for you in this regard. He also said: A man's wife is his slave and the person most loved by God the Almighty is the one who treats his slaves kindly. The rights of the wife:

1- Providing the means for living.

The Prophet (Pbuh) said one must provide the foodstuffs and clothing of his wife in the best manner. Imam Sajjad said: Going to the market and buying one Durham of meat which my wife desires is better than freeing a slave. The sixth Imam said: The most fortunate man is the one who manages the affairs of his wife and children.

2- Sexual intercourse.

 The eight Imam was asked about a man who had a young wife whom he had not slept with for nearly a year due to a disaster that had come upon him. He had no intentions to bother his wife but the disaster caused him to do so. Was he sinning? The Imam answered: Of course. After four months passed, he was sinning. Abuzar asked the Prophet: Is a man's love-making to his wife divinely rewarded even though it brings pleasure? The Prophet (Pbuh) answered: Yes, of course. Is it not forbidden to satisfy your sexual desires unlawfully? Abuzar answered yes. Then the Prophet (Pbuh) said: Certainly its lawful form is divinely rewarded. It is considered desirable in divine teachings for a man to sleep with his wife for love-making once every four nights.

3-Improving the Living Conditions

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: When a man goes to shop for his wife, he is similar to one who takes charity to the house of the needy. When he gets home, he should first give what he has bought to his daughters. This is so because one who makes his daughter happy is similar to one who frees a slave from Ismael's generation. And one who makes his son happy by giving him something is similar to one who cries for fear of God given that God shall take such a person into Heaven filled with blessings.

Imam Musa said: Men's wives are their slaves. When God gives blessings to anyone he should use it to improve the living conditions of his slave or else that blessing might be taken away from him. The Prophet (Pbuh) has admonished against a man being full while his wife is hungry. The sixth Imam said: A man should try to do the following things even if it is against his own desires.

(1) Treating the family well

(2) Trying to improve his living conditions without being wasteful

(3) Being concerned about protecting the family's honor.

The fourth Imam said: God is more pleased with the one who brings about more improvement in his family's living conditions. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: Whatever a Muslim man buys for his wife has a reward similar to that of charity.

(4) Respecting the wife

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: Anyone who gets married should respect his wife. He also said: Anyone who hits his wife more than three times (at once), will be disgraced by God in the Hereafter. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: Can you expect to hug your wife at night, having beaten her in the day time? He also said: In fact a woman is a doll; Anyone who marries one should not commit sin with it. He also said: I wonder about a man who beats his wife, while he himself deserves to be beaten more. Do not beat your wives with a stick since there is retaliation for this act. The Commander of the Faithful said: The women you are responsible for are a trust for you. Don't be strict with them and leave them up in the air. Haola asked the Prophet: What rights does a women have over a man? The Prophet (Pbuh) replied: Gabriel made so many recommendations on behalf of women that I thought a man cannot say the slightest thing to her. Gabriel said: O' Muhammad, be afraid of God in regards to women. They bear the sufferings and hardships of life. Women have rights over you since they have placed their bodies in your control for pleasure, they carry your children within their bodies until the time for delivery and they experience dangerous pains. Be kind to them. Keep them satisfied so they'll get along well with you. Don't say your wives are ugly or you don't like them. Don't be greedy about what you have given as the nuptial gift or take any of it back by force.

(5) Grooming oneself and keeping clean

Just as men like to see their wives looking pretty, clean, wearing nice clothes and using good scent, women have the same desires for their husbands: cleanliness, grooming, taking baths, brushing teeth, washing one's hair, combing one's hair, cutting one's nails, using scent, wearing proper clothing and the rest of the allowed grooming. These acts will please the woman and increase her chastity. She will not go after other men and think about getting another husband. Hassan ibn Jahm said: The 8th Imam dyed his hair and I asked him why. He said that a man's grooming himself increases the chastity of his wife. Women abandon chastity because they never saw their husbands grooming themselves. Then the 8th Imam asked if I would like to see my wife in a disheveled state. Hazrat Reza quoted on the authority of his grandfather that the women of the Israelites turned away from chastity for no reason at all, except that their husbands didn't groom themselves. Then the Hazrat said: Women expect the same things of men that men expect of them. Some men are really unfair and don't groom themselves. They don't go to the barbers often and they smoke cigarettes. Therefore their teeth and mouth are dirty and bad-smelling. They don't wear the appropriate clothing and don't care about their looks. Yet they expect their wives to submit themselves to them. These men are oppressors who deserve to be blamed and punished.

(6) Speaking Decently and Courteously

Swearing, or using a vulgar language will force the person we are facing to react no matter who they are. When you complain too much your wife will be upset, and this will ruin your mutual life. The Commander of the Faithful has ordered men: Be patient with your wife under all circumstances and treat her with kindness.

(7) Be content with your share of control over life

Some men give up all their God-given free will and totally submit themselves to the will of their wives. Some women take full control of their husband's will and try to run their lives in any way they wish. This sort of life usually turns into a Satanic life with a lot of sin, waste and unlawful desires. The house and the family deviate from the main and divine principles when life is void of spirituality. Today, a large percentage of families suffer from this devastating catastrophe. Instead of life being dependent on the man's decision, it depends on the woman's. Instead of the man being the husband of the wife, the wife is her husband's master. God forbid that the man disobeys the woman's wants even if it is unlawful and ungodly. A fight will be started by the woman which will not end until the man surrenders or divorces her. Regarding such men who have lost control over their wives, Imam Ali said: Any man who gives his control over to his wife is damned. He also said: The man who totally submits to his wife shall be thrown into the Fire of Hell by God with his face down. They asked him why and he replied: Because the wife requests see-through clothing and he accepts it.

Regarding this issue, Imam Ali conducted a public sermon when a man complained against his wife: O' people! Never obey your wife. Do not give her any property. Do not grant the control of your life to her. If such people are left free to do as they wish, they will ruin everybody's life and disobey their husband's orders. We have discovered that these people are not pious when in need; quickly submit to lust; think about collecting gold and silver until very old and are selfish and haughty when they are weak. If some of what they want is not provided to them, they ignore all your kindness and favors and will always remember your bad actions. They will accuse without any hesitation and will never stop their rebellion and are constantly trotting on Satan's path. [Vasa'il, v.20, p.180, Al-i-Bayt Press]

The Rights of the Husband

A major factor in strengthening the ties of mutual life is dependent upon the woman respecting her husband's rights. The wife should only consider God and the Hereafter and not let anyone else interfere in regards to her husband's rights. Others may be mistaken or have bad intentions and it may even be that the cause of such interference in the life of the newly-wed couple is pure jealously. Women should remember that they are easily influenced by others. They should consider this element of their nature, and pay close attention to the possibility of others being wrong. They should remember God and their situation in the Hereafter and respect the man's humane, divine and religious rights.

The man likes the woman to be his woman. She should maintain her sex role as a woman, as this is her nature by creation. She should limit her beauty, appeal, seduction, and coquettishness to her husband. She should neither follow others nor should she accept the interference of distant or close relatives, neighbors or guests. Anyway, she should be the wife of her husband, and live based on his lawful desires. She should run the affairs of the home according to her husband's will, and be a good mother to her children. Some women forget that they are feminine. They become rough, harsh, bitter and man-like. This shall make man's life really bitter, and make him sorry about getting married. They may even get fed up with life. Some of the rights of the husband include: The woman should submit herself to her husband's sexual desires whenever he needs her. The woman should obey her husband in all moral and religious affairs. The woman should seek her husband's permission to leave the house, except for the required pilgrimage to Mecca.

1- Obedience:

Imam Baqir said: A woman came to the Prophet (Pbuh) and asked him what rights does the husband have over the wife? He said: She must obey the husband, and not be rebellious. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: A woman who performs her five required daily prayers, fasts for the month of Ramadan, performs the pilgrimage to Mecca, obeys her husband, recognizes the rights of Imam Ali, being that he must be obeyed, shall enter Heaven from anyone of the eight gates which she desires to. Pay close attention to this very important tradition from the noble Prophet of Islam: Any good woman who worships God, performs the obligatory religious acts, and obeys her husband will enter Heaven. Any woman who says her prayers, does not leave the house unnecessarily, and obeys her husband shall be forgiven all her past and future sins by God. The Prophet (Pbuh) told a woman named Haola: By the God who entrusted me with Prophethood, a husband has rights over his wife. She should submit to his sexual desires. She should not disobey his orders, and not oppose or quarrel with him. In a very important and strong statement the Prophet (Pbuh) said: A woman has not fulfilled God's rights as long as she has not fulfilled her husband's rights. You should not conclude from the above traditions that the key to a woman's prosperity is solely obeying her husband. But she should also have faith, worship God, do her religious duties, and avoid doing what is forbidden. This means that she may prosper in this world and the Hereafter only if she gathers all these realties within herself.

2- Sexual submission:

It is obligatory for the wife to sexually submit herself to her husband at times when there is no religious excuse. It is even recommended that she declares her readiness to him. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: A woman should use the best perfume, wear her prettiest clothes, and groom herself in the best possible form. She should appear in front of her husband every morning and night displaying her beauties. The husband has even more rights than this. If a woman carries out the instructions of the Prophet (Pbuh) exactly, she can keep her husband for herself, and keep him away from looking at or chasing other women, even in a lawful manner. This is exactly the situation which causes conflicts. The wife wants to wear her best clothes, perfume, and make-up for going out to wedding parties or visit her friends and relatives, but appears in front of her husband as she is. Even after she returns from the party, she does not give her husband the slightest chance to see her. This hurts the husband's feelings and weakens their relationship and may prepare the grounds for other problems. Many young and middle-aged men have come to me to complain about their wives' indifference and lack of interest in sexual submission and not making themselves up for them. They have expressed their interest in temporary marriage or divorce and re-marriage and have asked me to solve their problem. My only recommendation to women at this stage is to wholeheartedly follow the instructions of the Immaculate Imams and the Noble Prophet. This way their husband will not become lustful outside the house and they will not have any marital problems. Or else your life will be ruined and you will be responsible for it in the Hereafter. In regards to man's attraction to his wife and her submission to him the Prophet (Pbuh) said: Do not elongate your prayers to avoid submitting to your husband.

3- Going out of the House:

Unfortunately, many women who have quit being a woman, and consider themselves to be men do not obey their husbands in regards to seeking permission to go out of the house. If it was deemed proper for women to freely go out of the house, then God would not have made it conditional upon the husband's permission. Some women left the house without their husband's permission. They caused sedition and corruption. They let out their hair and showed their face. They disturbed the pure atmosphere of the society. They acted sexy and coquettish in the streets. They even sometimes forced the men not to object in an attempt to protect their honor, so that these women could act as they pleased. They imitated the Western culture, that of the Jews and the Christians. They made such catastrophes for Islam and the Muslims that can never be compensated for. The Prophet (Pbuh) has ordered a woman not to leave the house without her husband's consent. And if she does so without his permission, all the heavenly angels and each jinn or man who passes by her will damn her until she returns home. Imam Sadiq said: One of the men from the Helpers (Ansar) went on a trip and ordered his wife not to leave the house until he returned home. Her father got ill while her husband was away. She sent a messenger to the Prophet (Pbuh) asking him if she could visit her father. The Prophet (Pbuh) replied that she should obey her husband and stay at home. Her father got worse and she sent another message but received the same reply. Her father passed away and she sent another messenger to go and pray for her father, but she received the same reply. They buried her father but the woman stayed at home. The Prophet (Pbuh) sent a messenger to her and he said that God forgave you and your father for obeying your husband. The Commander of the Faithful has instructed men as follows: Protect your women from the eyes of strange men, since this will better guard their chastity. The bad influences of bringing untrustworthy men to your house is the same as letting them go out to be seen in public. Make an effort so that they know no one but you.

4- Don't bother your husband, and don't be vulgar and ill-tempered:

The Prophet (Pbuh) has made an amazing speech regarding this issue. He delivered this lecture for women. O' women, pay charity in God's way, even though it be your ornaments, even a date, since many of you swear and are ungrateful to your husband and will be the fuel for the Fire of Hell. A woman said are we not mothers. Don't we carry the babies in our wombs for many months. Don't we breastfeed them. Aren't these girls the heads of some households, and these sisters sympathetic to their brothers? The Prophet (Pbuh) said yes. You get pregnant. You deliver children. You breastfeed them. You are kind. If women did not bother their husbands and got along with them, then no praying woman would burn in the Fire of Hell.

The sixth Imam said: These people's prayers are not accepted: A maid's prayers who runs away are not accepted until she returns to her owners huose; a woman whose husband is dissatisfied with her from night until the morning; and a leader who leads the people, but the people do not want him. Ali, the son of Jafar asked his brother Imam Musa Kazim: What is the status of a woman's prayers and conditions who angers her husband with her bad temper and vulgarity? He answered she is sinful until her husband is pleased with her. The Prophet (Pbuh) told Haola: I swear by God who appointed me to Prophethood through my honesty and trustworthiness that when a men gets angry with his wife, God too will be angry with her. The Prophet (Pbuh) has asked women not to expect of their husbands more than they can provide for them and not to degrade their status before anyone whether it be a relative or a stranger. The sixth Imam said: A woman who bothers her husband, and makes him sorrowful is damned. A woman who obeys her husband under any circumstances and respects him and does not bother him is prosperous.

5- Working at home:

The Prophet (Pbuh) told Haola: God shall prepare various delicious meals in Heaven for women who prepare delicious meals for their husbands. He will tell them to eat and drink as a reward for their efforts in this world. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: God shall look favorably at any woman who changes the decorations in the house to make the house look better. Whoever is favorably looked at by God will be saved from punishment. Imam Baqir said: Zahra (Pbuh) took care of the work inside the house such as preparing the dough and cooking the bread, and the Commander of the Faithful took care of the work outside the house such as shopping and collecting wood.

6- Respect your husband and treat him well:

The seventh Imam said: A woman's Jihad is to take good care of her husband. A woman Jihad is being grateful to her husband; being kind with him; bearing with him when he is poor; seeing him off when he leaves, and welcoming him when he comes home; totally submitting to her husband at allowed times; putting on good clothes and make up for him; properly running the affairs of the house; avoiding wastefulness and not asking him for more than he can buy. Such acts which are defined by the Prophet (Pbuh) and the Imams as a wife's duty towards her husband are her Jihad (Holy War) Imam Baqir said: Nothing can intercede on behalf of a woman in God's presence than her husband's consent. The sixth Imam said: Some people went to see the Prophet (Pbuh) and said we saw some folks who prostrated in front of their leaders. Will you let us do so in front of you? The Prophet (Pbuh) said: No, but if I were to issue such an order, I would order women to prostrate in front of their husbands. The Prophet (Pbuh) told Haola: God will make any woman who obeys her husband, and is patient with him under all circumstances a companion of the wife of the Prophet Jacob (Pbuh) in the Hereafter. God will grant any woman a reward for bearing the bitter words of her husband. For each word, He will count one day of fasting of a fighter in the way of God as her reward. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: A husband's right over his wife is that she should turn up the light of his house, cook the food; welcome him at the door when he comes home; prepare water and a towel for him to wash his hands and face; and submit herself to him sexually whenever she does not have a religious excuse. The Commander of the Faithful stood by the dead body of his wife Fatimah upon her death and said:

O' God. I am pleased with your Prophet's daughter. O' God, please be her companion, and alleviate her fears.

7- Do not make yourselves up except for your husband :

The Prophet (Pbuh) told Haola: Do not let anyone other than your husband see your ornaments and jewelry. Do not put on any perfume in the absence of your husband. Do not show off your attractive scarf and wrists. If you do so, you will ruin our religion and make God angry. The Prophet (Pbuh) admonished women against wearing attractive clothes outside the house. He also forbade wearing jewelry that might make noticeable noise. A very important tradition exists from the Prophet, and must be seriously considered by the Muslims. Any man, whose wife puts on make-up and leaves the house to go out and be seen in public with his consent, is a cuckold, and it is not a sin to call him so. For each step that she takes, a house full of fire will be prepared for him. Limit them in this respect, since these limitations are a cause of happiness and pleasure for you and family.

8- Do not use your husbands property without his consent:

 The sixth Imam said: A wife is not free to let a slave free, give charity or bet without her husband's consent, however, the payment of the obligatory alms tax, visiting her relatives and doing good deeds do not need his permission. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: A woman should not donate any of her husband's property without his consent. Should she do so, she will be sinful and the reward of her act will belong to the man. I shall once again say that the material presented here regarding the rights of husbands and wives mostly comes from volumes twenty-one through volume twenty-two of the noble book "Vasa'il" printed by Al-i-Bayt Press, and several traditions have been cited from volume 103 of Bihar al-Anwar. Those who wish to study this subject further should refer to these valuable books.

Pregnancy

In travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) [Holy Quran: Luqman: 31:14]

The Period of Pregnancy

The time of pregnancy is a very difficult period with anxiety and various physical and spiritual stresses, although a mother is the center of love and affection, an example of God’s Mercy and eager to have a baby and see her child's pretty, innocent face. The husband, the relatives of both and their friends should all take care of her at all times, since any yelling or screaming, vulgarity or bad-temper, or any form of bothering the pregnant women will not only hurt her, but it will also have a bad influence on the baby. If the couple lives in the house of either one of their parents, then their parents are morally bound and religiously obliged to not only avoid provoking the husband against his pregnant wife, but also to be considerate of the pregnant woman. The man's parents should seriously avoid interfering in the couple's peaceful life and the woman's parents should try not to be picky about the husband. Both sides are seriously responsible for the couple and the unborn baby.

If the fetus is harmed even slightly by the quarrels, bad tempers or excessive expectations of either relatives, they must undoubtedly answer to God in His just court. Then they shall be seriously punished for their oppression. The Holy Quran holds every one responsible for the slightest to the greatest sins they commit.

Therefore, by the Lord, we will, of a surety, call them to account, for all their deeds. [Holy Quran: Hijr: 15:92-93]

But stop them, for they must be asked: [Holy Quran: Saffat: 37:24]

For every act of hearing, or of seeing or of (feeling in) the heart will be inquired into (on the day of Reckoning). [Holy Quran: Bani Israil: 17:36]

I have received many letters from young couples during my religious lectures all over Iran. I have helped resolve many family conflicts, and have noticed that a major portion of these problems are related to the relatives of the couple, usually some unreasonable expectations of the husband's father or mother, or the pickiness of the woman's parents or of the groom's. Imam Sadiq has said the source of many of these immoral encounters is the result of jealousy. In some cases, of course, the newly-wed wife is at fault since she is young and inexperienced. In these cases, the elders should forgive her, but they do not, and the fights get worse. Sometimes religious or moral shortcomings worsened the situation to the point of divorce. As you know, any man or woman is seeking freedom and independence by nature. Restriction of this God-given freedom by anyone is a great vice and a sin. Stressing on the needs of a pregnant woman for security and attention does not mean that we should ignore her needs or treat her badly at other times. This is only because of the subject of the discussion in this chapter, and a pregnant woman's special conditions.

In fact, it is necessary for all to respect human rights of freedom and independence at all times and under all conditions. If the two families can provide for a separate housing arrangement for the newly-wed couple without experiencing real difficulty, it would be great. They should treat them kindly and with love and affection. Both parents should associate with the young couple, and avoid gossiping or interfering in their life while doing so. If they cannot provide a separate house for them, then they should let them live in a part of their own house. However, they should try not to bother them, since in the beginning of the couple’s life they are filled with love. The bride is God's trust in the family of the groom. She has left her own family with lots of hope and aspirations and has entered a new life. The groom , also, is God's blessing in the family of the bride. They should take care of these blessings just like their own children. Such caring is in line with the Holy Quran and traditions and is considered to be God's worship with the reward being God's pleasure and the eternal Heaven.

The parents of both the bride and the groom have either experienced the kindness and nobility of their near relatives, and started a good life or have been seriously hurt by them when they first got married themselves. In either case, they should now help safeguard the ties of marriage of the newly-wed couple by providing for their peace and security and avoiding undue interference. This way the young couple can enjoy their life and benefit from God-given blessings, instead of being hurt or separated due to improper interventions or unreasonable expectations. I remember seeing the following tradition in Usul-i-Kafi: The sixth Imam said the first piece of advice given to Adam by God  when he first started his life on Earth was:

"Want for others what you want for yourself, and do not approve of for others what you do not approve for yourself."

Thus, the relatives and friends of both the bride and the groom should follow these words, since then there will be fewer problems, and these problems can easily be resolved, too. Now consider the following verses of the Glorious Quran regarding pregnancy:

In travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) [Holy Quran: Luqman: 31:14]

We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. [Holy Quran: Ahqaf: 46:15]

Do you not think that we should respect the pregnant woman during this strenuous period of weakness, anxiety and suffering? Being considerate of her is at first her husband's moral and religious duty, and next it is the responsibility of all her relatives, so that the physical and mental health of both the mother and the baby are guaranteed.

Duties During Pregnancy

The time of pregnancy is a boring and difficult period during which the various systems in the body undergo strange changes. If it was not for the love of the child, mothers who have once become pregnant would refuse a second pregnancy. In this period some of the internal glands start to increase secretions, and the body uses more and more nutrients. However, the pregnant woman cannot eat food property due to nausea, and a lack of appetite. Some women go on a rigid diet to be slim and not let the fetus grow too big and hurt their good looks. They avoid eating good foods so that the baby does not grow so much that their skin wrinkles, or they have to undergo a hard delivery. They do not realize that now they are two people, and their diet must be such that it provides the necessary nutrients for the growth of the baby, too. To keep at a reasonable weight and provide for the health of the mother and the proper growth of the child, a well-balanced diet must be established. During this period of over secretion of the glands, food is absorbed and burnt rapidly. Much of the food intake is absorbed by the fetus, else the women would get really fat.

Should the pregnant woman not consume sufficient food, reserves in the kidney, bone marrow, and other parts of the body would be depleted. The fetus needs lime and iron to build up its various body parts: The iron is needed for the blood. Without it hemoglobin which is the fundamental elementt of blood cells would not be formed. Then the fetus will extract it from the mother's iron. Thus the mother will slowly develop blood deficiency as will the baby. To be able to provide the iron necessary for her body and the baby, she must daily eat some grains, some liver, meat and some fruits like apples, grapes, dates, etc. Lime is the basic material for the baby's body. It is needed in the amount of 40-50 grams to build up the bones. The mother should eat this much calcium every day, otherwise the baby will extract calcium from the mother's body. Then the mother will slowly get weaker, her bones will deteriorate, her teeth rot and her hair will fall out. We can compensate for this need by feeding the mother dairy products, wheat or barley, pears or apples. Thus we can help the fetus grow. [Mother's Guide, p.6.]

There are many books which explain ways to help safeguard the health of the child and the mother. There are many details like the kind of clothes, their color, the shoes, the mother’s associations, and so on which affect the baby. If the mother neglects God and does not pay enough attention to her religious duties and reading the Quran, then the baby's mental and spiritual growth will be affected. Pregnancy itself is considered a form of worship with a great reward. The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

When a woman becomes pregnant, she is similar to one who fasts, stays up at night to worship God, and fights for God with her wealth and life. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.101, p.106]

Of course, a couple could use birth control with mutual consent. However, this way they will lose out on a profitable deal. They should also not lose control and have too many children, since raising kids requires financial, physical and spiritual strength. Should parents not be able to properly raise their children because they have too many, the kids may turn out to be bad kids and then damn their parents.

Delivery

Although childbirth is a very pleasant experience for the mother, the father and the relatives, it is very painful for the mother. The Imams have said that labor has a great reward and is considered to be worship. The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

When she delivers her baby she will have a reward which is so great that it is incomprehensible. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.101, p.106-107]

Imam Sadiq said:

A woman who dies during delivery will not be accountable for her deeds in this world since she has died with the sorrow of childbirth.

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: Give your wife a few dates as soon as she delivers her child, since God ordered Mary to eat dates at the time of delivery. Give her seven dates from Medina or your own town. God has said:

I swear by my Majesty, Grandeur, Nobility and Highness that if a woman eats dates on the day of childbirth, then the child shall be patient whether it is a boy or a girl. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.101, p.116]

In Islam, all aspects of childbirth including the delivery room, the midwife, and the people present are closely considered so as to guarantee the physical and mental health of the mother and the baby.

New-Born Clothing

The Prophet (Pbuh) ordered the people in charge of the affairs of the house to put white clothes on Imam Hassan Mujtaba when he was born. By mistake, they put yellow clothes on him and handed him over to the Noble Prophet. The Prophet (Pbuh) took him, kissed him, put his tongue in the mouth and sucked his lip. Then he said:

Did I not order you to put white clothes on him?

Then he asked for the white clothes and put them on the baby, and put the yellow clothes aside. Then he said the general call to prayer (Adhan) in his right ear and the specific call to prayer (Iqamah) in his left ear. He named him Hassan. He did the same things when Imam Husayn was born (Vasa'il, v.21, p.409).

The First Food for the Baby

The Noble Kulayny, author of the book Usul al-Kafi has narrated the following tradition:

Feed your baby first with the water from the Euphrates River and then the dirt from Imam Husayn's grave: if not possible use rain water. [Vasa'il, v.21, p.407]

Adhan and Iqamah (The general call to prayer and the specific one):

It is said the first part of the body of the baby which works is the ear. The Quran has placed especial emphasis on the ear. From the very first moments of birth the ear hears and the brain receives and records what the ears hear. Sounds affect the child's mind. The house should be void of forbidden and polluted sounds or else the child will become mentally and psychologically polluted. Saying the Adhan and Iqamah in the child's right and left ears at the first moments after birth was a tradition of the Prophet (Pbuh) and the Immaculate Imams. The child should hear the call to God's unity, Prophethood, leadership, and prayer so that he/she starts life with these concepts and ends it with the same concepts. He/she will be born a Muslim and will die as a Muslim. Do not say that he/she is only one-day old, does not understand, does not see, cannot receive any information. The baby has all these fresh and powerful powers. I heard from Professor Tabatabaee (may God bless him):

A twenty-three year old American girl got a brain disease. They operated on her brain, and then after waking up she sang a religious song in French. The parents were really surprised. The doctor asked why they were surprised. They said our daughter does not know any French, does not have any French books, and nor does she have any French friends. Then the girl's mother solved the problem by saying that when the girl was only there months old, some French refugees of World War 2 came to the US. There was a Christian nurse who had rented a house next to their house: She used to come to our house, hug the baby and sing her a lullaby to pacify her. It was obvious that her lullaby was religious. Those words were recorded in her brain then, and were retrieved 23 years later when she became conscious after surgery. Therefore, saying the call to prayer in the early moments of life, and saying things to the ears of the dead person just after death are not useless. The ear is the first part that works and is the last one that stops to function.

Childbirth Etiquette

The author of the book, Makarim-al-Akhlagh has narrated the Immaculate Imams saying there are these traditional acts for the time of childbirth. The first of these is naming the child, then shaving the head, giving charity equal in weight to the cut hair, sacrificing an animal, rubbing saffron on the head of the baby, circumcising the boys, and feeding sacrificial meat to the neighbors. [Vasa'il, v.21, pp.411-413]

Imam Sadiq has highly recommended to sacrifice an animal, so much so that he has nearly considered it obligatory [Ibid].

Imam Musa, the son of Jafar was asked about circumcision, he replied:

Circumcising boys on the seventh day after birth is a tradition [Vasa'il, v.21, p.439]

Mother's Milk

Breast feeding for two years is prescribed in the Holy Quran:

The mothers shall give suck to their offspring for two whole years. [Holy Quran: Baqara: 2:233]

In travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) [Holy Quran: Luqman: 31:14]

In fact, God has provided for the sustenance of the baby’s milk in the mother's breast. A mother does not have the right to deprive the baby of his/her God-given milk and give powdered or animal milk for some personal, imaginary or physical reasons. The best way to start the breasts to produce milk is through sucking them. No drug can do a better job. Once the baby starts to suck the mother’s breast, her milk secretions become regular, and she starts to feel healthier too. Breast milk contains 1.6 percent of albuminoidals, 0.4 percent fat, 3.8 percent sugar and some salt and vitamins. This combination is only found in the mother's milk, and nowhere else. By God's will, only the mother's breast has the potential to produce such food for a newborn guest. The formula for animal milk is slightly different. Animals like cows which grow faster have more albuminoidals. While the breast feeding progresses, the combination above changes slowly. The sugar and fat reduce, while the albuminoidals increase. The sucking action of the baby not only helps him/her feed and get full, it also causes an increase in the secretions of the glands in the breasts. In the first fifteen days after birth, the child must be breastfed seven times per day. This starts from nearly 6 AM and continues to 12 PM once every three hours. Then we must reduce this frequency of breastfeeding six times per day, and let the child go to sleep at 9 PM. This way the mother can get a chance to rest, as does the baby's digestive system, which should be prepared for the next day. The mother should try to let the baby get full at each breast-feeding session. This requires some patience. The baby must be then put to sleep on his/her right side. Then the mother can go and get busy doing her own household chores. A child that sleeps well after each breast feeding session is perfectly healthy, and one must be glad to have such a baby. [Mother's Guide, p.30]

Even though the Prophet (Pbuh) was very busy, he paid special attention to the feeding of the children. He would come to Fatimah Zahra's house, put his finger on Husayn's mouth and by observing his sucking tested his appetite. If he was really hungry, he would be breastfed. If not, he would not be fed just for crying, since feeding the baby too often would cause illness and slow down the children digestive system. This would make him/her grow up to be weak. The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

There is no milk for babies better than mother's milk. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.103, p.323]

This was said centuries ago by the Noble Prophet of Islam. It is a fact that has been recently discovered by great scientists. In the West where families leave their children to be raised in day care centers and be fed powdered milk, the researches have stated that there is no better food or milk for the baby than the mother's milk. In rare instances where the mother lacks sufficient milk, it has been stressed in traditions to be very careful when choosing someone to breastfeed the baby instead. This is so because the milk is very effective on both the spirit and the body of the child. Based on traditions, one should avoid choosing a dumb, psychotic, evil-doing, weak-eyed person, Jew, Christian, Magi, or an alcoholic person to breastfeed your baby. This is because their condition will be transferred to the baby through the milk. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.103, Chapter on Breast-feeding; Vasa'il, v.15, Chapter on Breast -feeding].

The main point about breast feeding is the reward which is surprising. Um Salmeh asked the Prophet:

Men get all the good rewards but what about poor women?

He replied:

The reward of pregnancy is the same as fasting and night worship, and fighting in the way of God with one's wealth and life. Delivery has such an extensive divine reward which no one can realize. And for breast-feeding, each suck of the baby has the reward of freeing one of the slaves from the generation of Ismael. When the mother stops, a noble angle shall hit her on the side and tell her, start over since you are forgiven [Vasa'il, Al-i-Bayt, v.21, p.451]

It is important for mothers to note the following point that Imam Sadiq told a woman named Um Ishaq:

Breastfeed your baby with both breasts, since one is like a source of food while the other is like a source of drinking.

Naming

Some people consider naming an unimportant issue, and put any name on their child. However, naming is very important, and it affects the child's mentality and future. For this reason, there is one detailed chapter dedicated to naming in the books on traditions. The seventh Imam said:

The first kind act of a man towards his child is choosing a good name. Each of you must choose a good name for your child.

The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

Choose good names for yourselves, since you will be called by the same names in the Hereafter. [Ibid]

A narrator said that he went to see Imam Sadiq when he was sitting by Imam Musa's cradle. I sat and waited for him to stop caring for the child. He called me and I greeted him. He answered and then yelled at me, saying that I should immediately go and change the name I had chosen for my baby the previous day. I had named my newborn daughter Homeyra, but God dislikes this name, so I went and changed it. [Vasa'il, v.21, p.389]

Imam Sadiq has narrated his ancestors as saying:

In fact, the Prophet (Pbuh) used to change the bad names of towns and people. [Vasa'il, v.21, pp.390-391]

Imam Baqir said:

The most loudable name is the one which conveys the meaning of being a servant of God. And the best names for your children are the names of the Prophets. [Ibid]

Imam Musa, the son of Jafar, said:

Poverty shall not enter a home in which a girl is named Fatimah, or a boy is named Muhammad, Ahmad, Ali, Hassan, Husayn, Jafar, Talib or Abdullah. [Vasa'il, v.21, p.396]

To please the Prophet (Pbuh) and the Imams, you should change the names of your children if they are different from the names of the Prophet, the Imams or their mothers; lest your children file a complaint against you in the Hereafter for the bad names, symbolizing the wicked heroes of sin and corruption, which you named them with.

Raising Children in Islam

Imam Sajjad said: One thing guaranteeing men’s prosperity is to have children whom they can help. [Kafi, v.6, p.2]

The Position and Worth of Children

Children, whether male or female, are the greatest and most beneficial blessing that God has favored his servants with. The Prophet Abraham (Pbuh) did not have any children and was sad about this. When he was very old, God gave his worthy servant two sons: Ismael and Issac. Issac is the source of the divine Prophets until the time of Jesus and Ismael is the source of all the Prophets to the time of Muhammad, the last Prophet (Khatim-al-Anbiyaa), the Immaculate Imams and thousands of wise men, mystics and religious jurisprudents A child is a great blessing, a source of goodness, nobleness and benefit in this world and the Hereafter for an individual. Of course, the reference is to an individual believing in God and due to his belief trains his child to be a believer and a good and worthy person. Abraham wholeheartedly praised God for being granted offspring: Really, being granted offspring requires one to praise God.

Praise be to God, Who hath granted unto me in old age Ismael and Isaac: for truly my Lord is He, the Hearer of Prayer! [Holy Quran: Abraham: 14:39, p.631.]

We understand from this noble verse that the position of offspring is so important in life that Abraham requested children from God in his old age and his prayer was answered. When Zacharias was old he prayed to God in the prayer niche to give him a child.

So give me an heir as from Thyself, (One that) will (truly) represent me, and represent the posterity of Jacob[Holy Quran: Maryam: 19:5-6]

Ishaq ibn Umar quotes on the authority of the sixth Imam:

Mothers and fathers depart from this world and benefit completely from the worship, supplications and good deeds of their offspring in the case that their children were believers.

The Prophet (Pbuh) stated:

Five people have left this world but their files have not been closed: Reward continually is bestowed upon them. 1) The one who plants a tree 2) The one who digs a water well for others to use 3) The one who builds a mosque 4) The one who has taken down the Quran and 5) The one who leaves behind a worthy child. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.104, p.97]

The sixth Imam said:

When Joseph saw his brother he asked him:

How are you going to make the preparations for marriage. His brother said that his father Jacob instructed them in the following way: If you can raise heavenly children, do so. [Vasa'il, v.21, p.356]

Imam Sajjad said:

A Muslim man is fortunate in these regards: 1) His place of business is in the small city he lives in, so he can see his family after a day’s work. 2) His friends are worthy and pious 3) He has a child whose help he can benefit from. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.103, p.7]

How blessed is a worthy child that the Glorious Quran says:

And God has made for you mates (and Companions) of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best. [Holy Quran: Nahl: 16:72]

Imam Sadiq stated:

In the Hereafter, Muslim offspring will intervene on their parents behalf and the intervention will be accepted.

The seventh Imam said:

The man who does not die until he sees his offspring is fortunate. [Vasa'il, v.21, p.351-8]

The benefit of having children is so much that the Commander of the Faithful (Amir al-Mumineen) said:

A child's illness is the penalty for the parent's sins.

 The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

Worthy offspring are a bunch of sweet-smelling flowers which God has distributed amongst his servants.[Ibid]

And the Prophet (Pbuh) said:

Worthy children are a bunch of sweet-smelling flowers from the Heavenly flowers. [Ibid]

In a tradition it was stated:

The Prophet (Pbuh) was on the Medina mosque pulpit preaching to the people when Hassan and Husayn (peace be upon them) entered the mosque. They were both wearing red shirts and while walking fell down. The Prophet (Pbuh) quickly came down from the pulpit and picked up both children. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.42, p.284].

Then he recited the Quranic verse:

Your riches and your children may be but a trial: but in the Presence of God, is the highest Reward. [Holy Quran: Tagabun: 64:15]

In Tehran, a subterranean water canal had been dug whose excavator was a man named Hajj Alireza Zaba. For more than one-hundred years people from some parts of Tehran used that water. One of the great theologians said that someone saw him (the excavator) in his dreams. He was in a great orchard standing by a big river. The excavator told the man that his orchard was one of Heaven's orchards and that river was one of Heaven's, too. Those two blessings were the reward for excavating that canal in Tehran. But, alas! I wish I had a child who had said "There is no God but God" just once and then died. By stating his belief in monotheism, a great benefit would have been mine.

 Love for children

The Sixth Imam quoted upon the authority of the Prophet:

Love your children and have mercy on them. [Vasa'il, v.21, p.483]

Some people do not show much affection for their children or do not show their affection. They are harsh and strict when interacting with their children. These people must know that using this method, which is inhumane and unIslamic, will deprive them of God's Mercy. Imam Sadiq said:

In fact, God shows mercy upon his servants, just for the strong love they have for their offspring.[Ibid]

The Seventh Imam said:

God the Great does use things like His Anger against women and children. [Vasa'il, v.21, p.484]

God's Anger is shown for the faithlessness and bad-temperedness to the family. The Sixth Imam said:

Moses said the following to God when he was on the Tur Mountain: God, which action according to you is the best one? God said that loving children is the best one.

Kissing the Children

In the valuable book Ruzat al-Vaizin Fatal Nayshaboori being one of the great Shiite scholars has narrated an Immaculate Imam as saying:

Kiss your children a lot. For each kiss you will get a divine heavenly rank which would otherwise take 500 years to achieve.

A man came to the Prophet (Pbuh) and said: I have never kissed my child. The Prophet (Pbuh) said that in fact this man was a resident of the fire of Hell. There is no difference between boys and girls in this regard. Those who look sad when God grants them a daughter, are similar to the Arabs of the Age of Ignorance: They are terribly stupid. God willing, I shall discuss later about raising daughters, so that it becomes clear how valuable it is in Islam to raise a daughter. Another important consideration regarding child rearing is stated by the Immaculate Imams , and is very important to follow: Separate the sleeping place of boys from girls at the age of ten. [Vasa'il, v.21, p.361]

The Prophet (Pbuh) has issued a very important recommendation in this regard:

Separate the sleeping place of boys from boys, boys from girls, and girls from girls from the age of ten. [Vasa'il, v.21, p.460]

It is not appropriate for two kids to sleep in the same bed, whether they be both boys, a boy and a girl, or both girls. Islam does not approve of this. Imam Sadiq said:

Let your children be free to play until they reach the age of seven. For the next seven years, keep a really watchful eye on him/her. If he/she accepts to be religious, it is fine. Else there is no good in him/her. [Vasa'il, v.21, p.473]

The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

Teach your children to swim and shoot. [Kafi, v.6, p.473]

He also said:

Respect your children, and improve their behavior. Then you shall be forgiven. [Vasa'il, v.21, p.476]

Malik Denyar said:

I was ignorant, a loafer and I married three times. I divorced all of them for being infertile. I had a son from my next wife. I took him to school at the age of six. When I returned home in the evening, I saw that he was ill. Then I found out that the following verse is the first thing that he was taught:

A Day that will make children hoary-headed?[Holy Quran: Muzzammil:73:17]

We could not treat his ailment, so he died. I went to stay beside his grave. One night I dreamt that I was alone in a scary desert. A strange creature attacked me. I started to run away, and then reached a wall. I tried to climb over the wall to get over to the other side and escape. But suddenly I saw a few kids playing. I called out to my son and asked where he was. He said that after he died he was taken to a Quran class, so that by learning the Quran, he could become qualified to enter Heaven, and gain God's Mercy. I asked him about the nature of the creature that followed me. He said that was the manifestation of my own ugly and immoral acts. I fearfully woke up and stopped all my wicked acts and repented. Then I trotted down God's path.

The Worth of Raising a Daughter in Islam

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: A female child is a blessing.[Furu al-Kafi, v.6, p.5]

God's Will in Granting a Child

The Holy God is the Creator of all He wills, the owner of the heavens and the Earth, the Wise, the Powerful, the Just, the Merciful and the Benevolent. His will and decision regarding his servants is pure kindness and favor. He is the manifestation of love, mercy and nobleness and proper choosing. Whatever He wants for His servants is appropriate for this world and the Hereafter. And the servant must submit to God's Wisdom, Mercy and Will. This type of submission is the highest form of spiritual worship and stems from morality of the Prophets and the Saints, and the sign of love and understanding of God’s lovers and mystics. All of the following cases are God's pure Mercy, Kindness and His burning Love for His servants: the barren parents, the ones with a daughter; the ones with a son and the mother who bears twins, one being a girl and one being a boy.

To God belongs the dominion of the heavens and the Earth. He creates what He wills (and Plans). He bestows (children) male or female according to His Will (and Plan), or He bestows both males and females, and He leaves Barren whom He will: [Holy Quran: Shura: 42:49-50]

Based on this noble verse, female offspring are an aspect of the kingship of God and the manifestation of His will in Creation and the light of His knowledge and power in regards to man. His knowledge and power, action and will, rule and ownership deemed a couple to have a daughter. Getting upset about having a daughter is a great sin, since it implies being upset with divine Ownership, Creation, Choice, Knowledge and Ability. This is stupid, illogical and unwise. As Imam Sadiq has said a baby who dies will be given to Sarah and Abraham in the Purgatory to be raised, and then be saved for the parents until the Hereafter. In the book Maskan al-Fowad, Shahid has narrated the sixth Imam as saying that having patience when a baby dies and not crying a lot has a reward that is greater than if the baby had not died, but grew up and fought as a soldier of Imam Mahdi and became a martyr in God’s way.

Imam Husayn took his six-month-old baby to the tent, and gave him to his sister Zaynab. Then he sat on the ground and asked God to accept his six-month-old martyred baby as a credit for the Hereafter When a dead child is so important and valuable for us ,then can you estimate the worth of a child which we raise, educate and train expending a lot of our efforts? There is no difference between a boy and a girl, just a child. It is said in verse twenty-eight of the Chapter Anfal that children are God's test for man. If man is pleased with his child, then he has succeeded in this test. If he tries to educate him and teach him religion; provides the means for his marriage as much as he can; respects him; honors him and respect his rights, then he shall attain a great reward. The Holy Quran has said:

Wealth and sons are allurements of the life of this world. But the things that endure, good deeds, are best in the sight of thy Lord, as rewards, and best as (the foundation for) hopes. [Holy Quran: Kahf: 18:46]

One who strives to raise his children and gets them acquainted with God, the Prophets, the leadership of the Imams and the Quran shall leave a highly valuable thing behind which cannot be matched. This is better for him in the presence of God and will be good for the Hereafter. Are not Mary, Khadijah, Asia and Fatimah the best patrimonies that their fathers left behind. Why should anyone get upset about having a daughter? Who knows what is in the womb? Does anyone's will but God's affect the gender of the baby in the womb? This is God's will and we should surrender to it. It is His Mercy, favor and kindness to grant us a daughter. we should thank him all our life for this blessed daughter. Remember that the Prophet (Pbuh) was granted a few sons named Qasem, Tayib, Tahir and Abraham, however, neither one survived. God never congratulated him for having a son, and no special verse of the Quran was revealed on these occasions. But when Khadijah became pregnant with Fatimah, the Chapter Kauthar of the Quran was revealed and he was informed of receiving a great deal of blessings, and eternal goodness.

Highly Important Traditions Regarding Raising a Daughter

It is recommended to pray to God to give you a daughter, if you do not have one. Prophet Abraham, who had Issac and Ismael prayed to God to have a daughter. His prayer has been quoted by Imam Sadiq as: He asked God to give him a daughter so there be at least someone to cry after his death and remember him. [Vasa'il al-Shiaa ,v.21, p.361; Al-i-Bayt Press].What is important in this tradition is not the goal, rather it is the fact that a Prophet prays to have a daughter. It is an honor to be the father of a girl, as the Noble Prophet of Islam was. It is a real honor to have a girl and become similar to the Prophet (Pbuh) in this respect. Imam Sadiq said: The Prophet (Pbuh) was the father of all girls. [Ibid]

If someone does not have a daughter, but has a sister, he still has some leeway to receive God’s Mercy. The Sixth Imam said: Whoever has three daughters or three sisters should go to Heaven. [Ibid]

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: Daughters are a blessing: they are kind, helpful, good companions, blessed, and like cleanliness.[Vasa'il, v.21, p.362]

The Sixth Imam said: Whoever is the guardian of either two daughters, two aunts, or two maternal aunts shall be protected from the fire of Hell.[Ibid]

A man informed another man who was sitting by the Prophet (Pbuh) that he had become the father of a girl. The man turned pale. The Prophet (Pbuh) asked the reason. He said: I left the house when my wife had pains. Now this man informed me that I have a daughter. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: The earth shall support her, the sky will be a shadow over her head, and God will grant her sustenance. She is like a scented bunch of flowers you can smell. Then he turned to his companions and said: Whoever has just one daughter has problems of raising her, guarding her, preparing her dowry and providing for her marriage. Help whoever has two daughters. Whoever has three daughters seems to be engaged in holy war, and he is forgiven if he does any acts which he is admonished not to do. [Ibid]

And please help, lend money and have mercy upon whoever has four daughters. [Vasa'il, v.21, p.365]

How dear daughters are that the Prophet (Pbuh) has advised his companions to help those who have daughters and has established such help as a duty for the Muslim nation!

At the time of Imam Sadiq a man's wife delivered a girl. He came to Imam Sadiq and looked upset and angry. Imam Sadiq said: What would you say if God sent you a revelation and asked you if you will let Him choose the gender of your child? He said: Of course, I would ask God to choose for me. Then Imam Sadiq said: Well, now God has chosen a daughter for you. Remember the story of Moses and Khizr. When Khizr killed that child by God's command he told Moses: "I willed that God give to his parents a better and more merciful child instead of him."

So we desired that their Lord would give them in exchange (a son) better in purity (of conduct) and closer in affection. [Holy Quran: Kahf: 18:81]

Instead of that child that was killed by Khizr ( and Moses objected to this act). God granted his parents a daughter from whose generation came seventy Prophets. [Kafi, v.6, p.6; Vasa'il, v.21]

Imam Sadiq said: Daughters are good deeds and boys are God's blessings. Good deeds will be given a reward, but one will be questioned about blessings.

[Vasa'il, v.21, pp.365-366]

God told his Prophet on the night of Ascension to Heaven:

Tell the father of girls, do not be impatient with your daughters, since I shall provide for their sustenance just as I created them. [Ibid]

Imam Sadiq said: One who wished for the death of his daughter will be admitted to God's presence in the Hereafter as a rebellious person [Ibid].

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: God the Glorious, and the Almighty is kinder to girls than He is to boys. On the Day of Judgment God will please one who pleases his daughters. [Vasa'il, v.20, p.364]

The Prophet (Pbuh) has said the following regarding the value of having a daughter:

Your best children are your daughters. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.104, p.91]

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: One who is the guardian of three daughters or sisters shall certainly go to Heaven. They asked him what if one takes care of just two?

He replied yes. They asked him what if he takes care of just one daughter or one sister? Again he replied yes.[Vasa'il, v.21, p.368]

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: One who goes to the market and buys something and brings it home for his wife and children is similar to one who supports the needy.

It is better to give a priority to daughters in gifts. In fact, whoever pleases his daughter gets the reward of having freed one of the slaves from the line of Islamel.[Bihar al-Anwar, v.104, p.69]

What an amazing tradition? No other culture has supported having daughters this much in human history.

In many tribes and nations, girls and women were in a terrible state. It was due to the efforts of the Prophet (Pbuh) that a great spiritual revolution happened in regards to the life of girls and women, and how they are treated. It is even more amazing that the Prophet (Pbuh) has said: Do not hit your babies since their crying has a meaning. The first four months of crying is professing the unity of God, the second four months of crying is sending salutations to the Prophet (Pbuh) and his household, and the third four months of crying is praying for the parents. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.60, p.381] Therefore you should not beat one who is professing God's unity, or is sending salutations to the Prophet (Pbuh) and his household, or is praying for his/her parents. You should be considerate of such a person, and be kind to him/her.

Also consider the following important tradition: Sakuni, who is one of the companions of Imam Sadiq, said: I went to see Imam Sadiq when I was really sad. He asked me the reason why and I replied that my wife had delivered a girl. He said: The earth will support her, God will give her sustenance, she lives in a different time period than you and she will eat her own share of daily bread. Then by God I was relieved of the burden. Then the Imam asked me what name I had chosen for her. When I said Fatimah, he put his hand over his fore-head giving a sigh of relief said: Now that you have named her Fatimah, do not beat her, swear at her nor damn her. [Kafi, v.6, p.48; Makarim al-Akhlagh, p.220; Vasa'il, v.21, p.482]

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: One who has a daughter should not prefer his sons over her, or despise or scorn her. Then God will take him to heaven. [Marriage in Islam, p.136]

He also said: The reward of one who has one daughter is greater than the reward of one who goes on pilgrimage a thousand times, engages in holy war a thousand times, makes sacrifices a thousand times or gives a thousand dinner parties. [Ibid]