In the day of the doom , Man is judged by their actions rather than their declarations . there is no doubt in the importance and vitality of traits such as piety in the life of all believers but what that is of greatest importance is that of putting them into practice. How to be a pious couple and what are the symbols of a pious couple is elaborated on by professor Hossein Ansaryan in “ the structure of Islamic family” .The following text is a part of it .
Let's Invite Each Other to Piety
Considering that not all men and women can attain the first two degrees of piety being (1) outstanding and (2) especial piety, we should not invite the general public to these two stages of piety as these degrees of piety belong only to the Prophets, the Imams and God's especial Saints. However, it is feasible for all men and women to attain ordinary or the general type of piety; that is to abstain from the religiously forbidden ethical, carnal and financial affairs.
Therefore, it is everyone's duty to politely invite others to piety and to encourage each other to abstain from various forbidden acts, so that divine virtues may encompass man's life including individuals and families and thus the society can benefit from it.
It is divinely obligatory for all people in all ranks to attain piety, especially a husband and wife who should teach piety to their children. The righteous say children are God-given responsibilities and their hearts, and souls are pure and void of any corruption like blank tableaux. This blank tableau can accept any design. If a child is taught good deeds, words and ethics at home and if he/she is guided to learn the truth, he/she will attain the prosperity of this world and the Hereafter. The parents who cause this to happen shall share in the reward as do the teachers who have participated in his/her training.
If, however, the parents be corrupted and ungodly drawing satanic designs on the child's heart, life and soul, then the child will become corrupted and be raised like an animal just following his lusts and carnal desires. The child will be spoiled and the responsibility will undoubtedly lie with his parents or teacher.
Save yourselves and your families from a Fire.[Holy Quran: Tahrim 66:6]
Why do parents usually protect their children from fire and prevent them from approaching danger? Should they not also protect their children from the flames of God's Wrath in the Hereafter resulting from lack of piety, evil acts, no morality, faith and good deeds. The practical approach to protect children from punishment in the Hereafter is for the parents to be pious and to teach them piety. To train their children parents must be benevolent teachers, persuasive preachers and sympathetic inviters to good deeds. They must first ornament themselves with piety, faith and good deeds. Then they must train their children, teach them principles of morality and protect them from bad friends and wicked teachers.
They must try to raise the child in such a way that he/she does not become deeply fond of wealth, luxury and wastefulness as well as excessive ornaments. Thus, he/she would not turn into a wasteful, greedy, looting, lustful and stubborn individual in the future. If the society consists of ungodly individuals, it will be like a building constructed from low grade materials. It will collapse and living in it will become difficult for everyone.
There would be no need for prisons, police, courts and the extensive judicial system, if all homes were based on piety and couples were virtuous and taught their children piety. If so, large amounts of money spent on preventing robbery, corruption and looting would be saved and could be spent for the public's well-being.
Signs of the Pious
Using the Quranic verses and religious traditions, religious authorities consider the following to be signs of the pious:
a)Learning enough of the religious sciences necessary for his actions, morality, business deals and relations with family members and the society
b)Protecting his body's health by using hygienic measures and observing good etiquette while eating and drinking
c)Resorting to one's intellect in daily affairs and being honest in all aspects of life
d)Having modesty, not lying as well as maintaining good temper and not being wicked
e)Not being a hypocrite and hating extra material goods
f)Not being deceitful, making excuses or committing treason
g)Honoring the virtuous and the wise
h)Carrying out one's religious duties, including the obligatory and supererogatory acts.
i)Following divine scholars since they teach man what is forbidden and what is allowed in God's religion, and only expect man's progress
Imam Sadiq (Pbuh) stated the following concerning the fact that one must follow the divine scholars:
A sign of a liar is that he informs you of issues in the Heavens and the Earth, but when asked about the religiously lawful and forbidden, he has no answer to give. [Usul al-Kafi, v.2. p.340; Muhjat ul-Biyza, v.5, p.140]
Some other signs of the pious ones are:
1)Patience in the face of terrible events
2)Observing the Islamic customs and principles of morality in all affairs
3)Diligence in making supplications
4)Perseverance in intellectual affairs
The pious should have sincere intentions and be pure in soul. They should progress to the stage of knowledge of certainty, then to the stage of reality of certainty, and then to the truth of certainty.
A Pious Man and Wife
A pious man never uses any means, except the lawful ones, and never accepts any unlawfully made money, in order to earn his living.
Thus, he respects the rights of all with whom he deals, and no one is harmed by his activities outside the home. He does not get involved in what is religiously unlawful due to his piety and does not lose the treasure of purity of his soul and contentment. When a pious man has finished working and returns home, he leaves all his tiredness at the door-step and enters the house in a cheerful, delightful state. He smiles kindly at his wife and tells her to relax after working all day at cleaning, cooking and caring for the children. He praises her and faces her with kindness, paying respect to each one according to his/her position in the family.
Once in a while, a pious man reminds his family members about the religiously lawful and forbidden, virtue and vice, good and evil deeds and does not let them forget religious issues.
A pious man does not spend all his time outside of home, and does not limit his happiness and laughter just to his circle of friends. Also he does not excessively attend the mosque and religious ceremonies.
A pious man notes that Islam has instructed us to be moderate and consider economy in all aspects of life, even in worship. Islam has even prohibited us from usurping the rights of our wife and children under the pretext of visiting our friends or attending ceremonies. At this point, I must remind my respectable colleagues who are in charge of mosques and religious ceremonies to shorten the duration of religious programs. A congregation prayer and an hour of preaching should suffice, as this was the practice of the Prophet (Pbuh) and the Noble Imams. They raised great men and women in a short time and with brief sermons.
Worshipping in excess, especially in regards to the supererogatory acts, and drawing on and on the meetings, will bore the listeners. Gradually this will cause a psychological complex in the listener concerning religious programs. The only result of this is the harm done to the mosque and religious clubs as well as to the people, especially those with a low tolerance. Anyway, a pious man will observe the proper etiquette in all aspects of life. In this way, he will help to establish a fine family and attract his family's kindness to himself.
The pious wife protects her chastity, innocence and purity and eagerly does the housework. She prepares the means for her husband's comfort and helps him to relax as he is tired from work outside the home. She cares for her children in the most honorable way and behaves with her husband and children within the limits of Islamic morality. She does not forget to worship God daily and makes the home the center of love, kindness, eagerness and delight.
The pious woman, by relying on the divine Islamic principles, follows her husband's orders. She avoids getting angry and encounters her husband's kinsmen with kindness and Islamic morality. When her husband comes from his work, she is at the door to welcome him. When he leaves for work, she sees him off and requests him to bring home only the lawful goods. She says that she will be content with the lawful goods, even if they are meager, and will not accept the responsibility of unlawful goods. Do not exceed the limits set by God to obtain unlawful wealth under the pretext of being married or having children and a lot of expenses.
The pious woman does not try to keep up with the Joneses causing her husband to be embarrassed because she wants the same things his kin have or hers does. Such a pious couple are approved of by God, are a source of goodness and a good example of divine human beings. In the shade of this couple, the kind of family which God likes, is created. In any case, the husband and wife take care of each other in all of life affairs based on the Islamic wisdom and laws, just as God's Saints did.
source : The Structure of Islamic Family
